h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Please, dear Santa, God, Devil, ANYONE!!! I want a new sister in my christmas stocking. My current one is practically driving me crazy! I hate her so much sometimes, I feel like trowing our most precious china from my balcony or hit a tree with the Mercedes at 80 km /hour. We planned to give a calendar as a christmas present to our parents and one to our Grandma, but the whole project is being f**ked up by her dammned mood swings, her self-consciousness concerning her apperarence (so why DID you pluck your evebrows until they were gone?!). Practically every picture of her or our family is censored, she even tore one apart right now!! f*****g paranoid freak! and I have to pull myelf together so she won't let me do the whole job my self, f*****g blackmail this is!! AND, because I didnt have any pictures of her in the ones I had selected from my collection, she has been accusing me of ego-tripping and being ecocentrical and so on. Well, I only HAVE like three photos of us together and they really didnt fit into the concept. So? She can choose her own pictures. I am the one who has been making copies of pictures, who got the calendars and who has been staying up late to work on them. She just expects me to think about everything. And who is the person glueing in the pictures into the calendar, even as I have 1000 other things to do? ME!!!!
GRRRRR, stupid, narrowminded, paranoid, stubborn, egotistical bitch!!!! So please, I would like a little angel without psychproblems and double standards. Someone who lives up to the demands she puts on her fellow people. Someone who is greatful for helpfulness in a wider perspective, not just 5 minutes and the turns into a bitch and makes you regret you ever went to pick her up or let her have your jeans. AAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!
Alternatively, I would settle for a caribe island for my boyfriend and me with a little luxury so I could chill there and not let her nasty behaviour affect me. Anyone else who has psycho siblings? Want to found a self-help group maybe?

Cheshirecatgeisha.