h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*floating in, in her usual vague elf-like manner, heading for senior horses's box*

Greetings, Ferrari!

*gently stroking his muzzle*

*digs in pockets*

Look what I brought you; an apple, a carrot and Swedish knäckebröd...

*drifting off to visit the magnificent Clydesdales*

Greetings, Bonnie & Clyde!

*bends head backwards to look at them*

Oooooh, you really are impressive...

*Clyde obligingly lowers head to allow Titania a cuddle*

Mmmmmmmm... *rubbing nose against muzzle*

*digging in her pockets for more apples and knäckebröd*

*intrigued by knäckebröd, Bonnie also lowers head to sniff at the bread, looking as if she's thinking 'Now what's this?'*

*the oat flakes covering the bread look tempting, and soon both Clydesdales nibble at bread, keeping Titania busy digging in pockets for more*

Titania, I am thinking how extraordinary you would look riding a clydesdale! with lengths of silk sash floating out behind you...

Bonnie and Clyde are harness horses, but I can look around for another one for you, if you like. They may be huge at nearly 19 hands, but they are as gentle as kittens.

Lil, I just love this place!

...and I know they're gentle *hugging Clydesdales* - a little like dogs - the bigger the kinder...

Oh - don't bother looking for yet another horse - the way I usually get a ride is asking the horse very nicely, and if she/he agrees, I just jump up, and then we go wherever we've decided to go... I don't know how to ride, I just follow along...

*looks at Clydesdales, thinking (dang! how come the words I need most aren't in my dictionary) 'lady-saddle', definitely*

...oh, and about that image of me you just conveyed - I'd be EXTREMELY flattered if you would paint it...

The word-cognate you are looking for is side-saddle. You need to get yourself a fitted habit -- "habit" is the word for a horse-riding outfit. For side-saddle, that will be boots, long full skirt, fitted peplum style jacket with a white stock (neck scarf) held by a pin, and a hat, optionally with a long sheer veil. Color, material and details of style are up to you.

The stock (which is wrapped round the neck and held with a long pin) has a historical reason. If anybody fell and was hurt while hunting, the stock and pin could be used to bandage the wound!

I like the idea of painting you on one of the 'dales, I just don't know when...

..just referring to the position I'd assume, you'll never get me to wear all that stuff...

...ok, here we go: if I were to ride a Clydesdale, I'd be riding with both my legs on one side, since I believe both Bonnie & Clyde *cuddle* are much too broad backed for other seating(?)...

...and I won't wear a helmet either, because the horses at h2g2 who's accepted to carry me would NEVER allow me to fall off...

yes, that position, both legs on one side, is side-saddle. 99.9% of all women outside of the American West rode that way pretty much till the turn of the last century!

And you're right about the habit. I had a feeling you would object to corsets.

*starts to whisper in Clyde's ear, while caressing Bonnie*

*The Professor pokes his head in, just to take a look at the big topic over at the Atelier.*

Hello there!

*his says is quietly so's not to disturb the four-legged residence of this place...*

Don't mind if I let loose some probes do you? It's a necessary thing, that when such a large land-space is taken up I need to have it thuroughly scanned. You know, for security and the like. I have part of the Big C Mastersystem on the 'station devoted to keeping all tectonic happenings on this planet under control.

Watch, dispatch probes. And make sure they leave the horses alone, please...

*A few probes fly out and systematically scan the area of the BSEC.*
*The Profesor teleports some sugar cubes, and feeds the horses some...*

*whispered discussion going on between Titania, Bonnie and Clyde*

*opening box doors*

*Bonnie & Clyde trot out*

*Titania glides up on Clyde's back, Bonnie taking the lead towards stream*

*after a while, the probes return from their sweep of the area, and enter the Watch...*

{Sensor sweep completed Sir. Data transfer completed. Added to h2g2 database.}

Good. Well, I'll be off now. Sorry for any inconvenience.

*he walks out, and teleports once he's out of the area, so's not to alert the horses...*

*Bonnie & Clyde, carrying Titania, return from excursion*

*sliding down*

Thank you for showing me the surroundings, both of you!

*stands and cuddles for a while, then Clydesdales return to their boxes, and Titania closes doors*

Bye! I'll come and visit again... *waves, before drifting off*

Just here to find out more about the gnus!

<BB<

The gnus have been around for ages, BB! Were you around at the Aroma Cafe when Doctor John walked in followed by a penguin and a herd of gnus? The gnus walked right through the cafe and into the wood and we didn't hear from them again. But when I was setting up this establishment, I found them in the valley, attracted to the splendid grazing... Will you participate if we have a gnu riding contest, then?

I can't remember that happening at the cafe - perhaps it was while I was away.
But anything involving gnus and I'll be there - although I hope no-one wants to ride me!

<BB<

Would you like to be in charge of the gnus at Blue Steed? Amos Featherly (Babel) will be managing the farm generally, but it would be good to have someone looking after the wild stock. I can put your name in the staff section of the BSEC page.