h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*sea mourns the fate of her beautiful black leather combat boot*

*mortars are notoriously inaccurate; NYC has nothing to fear*

*One mortar falls just behind NYC's position. Lafinass Adjusts the angle of tragectory, the next falls just short. Lafinass Adjusts once more.*

[lafinass] HA!!! i've got you bracketed!!

*In a few seconds mortars are raining down on NYC's position.*

{{{NOTE: Accuracy isn't all that important with explosives, but artillary is actually quiet accurate on a fixed target.}}}

*sea continues to mourn, but upon hearing NYC's wails of pain, she walks over, heals him, and promptly turns into the demented version of the kindergarten teacher*

[demented kindergarten teacher] you men are such babies! i ought to...

*she then turns into the regular kindergarten teacher*

[kindergarten teacher] you should know better than to play with explosives! are you allright? you're setting a bad example for your playmates, you naughty boy!

*she then turns back into sea*

[sea] *puts a hand to her forehead* i feel a headache coming on. i think it's getting a little too crowded in there...

*sea pat her forehead just in time to look up to see a hail of mortar shells. NYC cowers under sea, sea shrieks*

boom badda BOOM BOOM BABOOM BOOOM BOOooooOOOoooOOOooommm....

*sea stands up slowly, looks at the cowering NYC, and giggles. she is unhurt- due largely to the fact that she is composed mainly of water*

*lafinass shudders.*

[lafinass] oops... *looks up to notice Sea standing to the side with a look of confusion on her face* oh... good.

[sea] what? oh thank you Tal'Shi...

*Lafinass then realizes that must have left NYC exposed to the mortars.*

*sea walks over to NYC*

[sea] i realize that this may be a silly question to ask, but... are you okay?

*NYC is now currently in little bits and pieces spread over the factory walls, machinery, ceiling, and on sea, much to her dismay*

[sea] AAAGH! NYC's all over me! I feel so dirty...

[ooc] I just had to say that, it sounded so funny...

argh... simulpost. disregard mine then.

*sea does a get-the-NYC-pieces-off-me dance*

*Lafinass is just standing there watching the comedy....*

*just what is that going to accomplish?*

*very little, but it sounded funny*

*sea wonders how she will manage to reintegrate all the NYC pieces into one NYC*

*then she wonders if he would really mind being a disembodied voice*

*Lafinass gets bored and starts shooting workers in the head with a sniper rifle. The workers scatter from the new threat.*

*as much as NYC would enjoy being all over sea, he really would have no way of really knowing that he IS all over sea (as his brain would constitute being part of him, and would then be as spread out as the rest of him), and therefore would probably like to be healed as to enjoy being in his supposed position*

[lafinass] ooooo laaaa laaaaa.... should i leave you two to alone??

*shoots another worker and then dodges for cover as the retalitory fire comes his way.*

*sea figures out a way to heal NYC.... don't ask me how, i'm just the narrator..... and heals him. then she punches lafinass*

*NYC, now in his normal state, is unfortunately nowhere near sea, and therefore must start out with a non-sequiter*

where are your howitzers?

[lafinass] ouch! fine then... i have your howitzers over here Yank!! {{{{BOOOM}}}}