h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The Vicar sat in his room. he watched the birds fly, then thought up some stupid idea of how he could find a way to fly. The was one bird in particular that seemed to strike him. A small yellow and blue bird that decided to perch itself on his windowsill. It looked at him, straight in the eye, then he began hearing voices in his head.
"Trouble! Trouble! You are in danger!Get away! GET AWAY!"
At that very moment he was awaken by the sound of thunder and lightening coming from outside.The bird had been burnt to a crisp.
"It could have been you" he heard the voice say in his head, "It could have been YOU!"
The Vicar then heard a loud bang, as a strange women entered his room.


Hope you like the idea.
check out my space at U183955
Spook

The woman said nothing, but slowly stepped forward. The Vicar couldn't help but noticing how amazingly beautiful she was. Not sure whether he should speak, or just wait until the woman would speak to him, he slowly rose from his chair. The woman advanced, until she stood right in front of him. She slowly opened her mouth, as if she was about to say something...

sorry I didn't notice this before...should've remembered to subscribe to this page

Hi Spook and welcome,

I will get back(and reply) to these threads/chapters shortly. At the moment I am more occupied by people who want a new toilet(no, just don't even ask ).

Greetz,

TM.

Hi Towel Master , this all sounds very interesting but it does appear to have gone a bit quiet around here (Though I do happen to know spook. I had no idea how long he had been on here, the old man). Would I be able to add something?

Sure thing! Just follow up to my previous posting, that's about where we left off a year ago

...suddenly the wind wound up and a window broke as one of the birds flew in. It screeched, and scratched the Vicar on the cheek as it flew past and went out of the open door, which slammed shut from the force of the wind.

Holding his cheek in pain the Vicar addressed the Snack Queen: "You must leave now, Phinella. You are in grave danger here."

She seemed stunned. "How did you know my name?"

"I have been listening to the winds. They tell me things. I also know that there are precious few people who could dress as you do in these wretched times, and can only assume that you are Phinella, the Snack Queen. Holorutha, is in grave danger. You must go to him."

Still trying to take it all in Phinella spoke : "But how shall I find him?"

"I shall take you there, and we must leave with the utmost haste, as I fear that bird is a sign of more than that I need to get a new window."

Re-opening the door, and quickly looking around for any sign of the bird, the Vicar lead the Snack Queen through the corridors...

Ignoring the cold, the Snack Queen tried to ask the Vicar about the whereabouts of her beloved Holorutha. Indicating that silence was in order, the Vicar said nothing and paced on. For twenty minutes they walked, until suddenly the Vicar stopped. He turned around and looked Phinella in the eye...

"Are you ready?", he asked

Not knowing what would happen next, but worried about Holorutha, the Snack Queen nodded. There she stood, waiting in anticipation

The Vicar closed his eyes, and started to speak in a language Phinella had never heard of...

Phinella couldn't help but break in to hysterics. The language sounded like a cross between a monkey screaming and someone breaking wind.

However the Vicar was less than pleased. He stopped speaking in the language. "That language is of the great ones. Passed down to every first born son of my family. It is sacred."

She stopped laughing and composed herself. "But I don't understand it. How can I know what you are saying unless you can speak in a language that I understand?"

"Well you will have to learn the language herself in order to help poor Holorutha.", replied the Vicar

"But why? And how can I learn the language in time to help my beloved Holorutha?"

The Vicar pondered this for a moment, and seemed to come to a decision. "Come," he said, "There is something I must show you..."

...They continued to walk up the hallway until they at last came to a door in the southern wing of the building.
"Are you sure you want to go through with this?" The Vicar asked.
"Anything for my beloved Holorutha", Phinella replied. "Very well then", the Vicar said. "But I must warn you, for what you are about to see is not for the weak of heart. You must be strong, for that is the only way to prevail. In this very room lies the secret to learn the language of the ancients."

Phinella felt another chill when she reached for the door. She paused for a moment to look at the Vicar. There was something in his reassuring smile that made her feel comfortable and yet afraid for what would lie behind the door.
Looking back at the door, she said "Well...here goes..." and reached for the handle...

The door was flung open and rushing winds like tentacles came, grabbed Phinella and dragged her in. In the centre of the gothic room with drapes all around (within which Phinella was still being swung around in) there was a statue make a noise not disimilar to which the vicar was making earlier. The only difference being that there were some "flump", "Phraaaar" and "ploooop" noises in there as well. When the winds quietened down, she finally fell in to the floor in front of the statue, she looked up at the statue - in to its eyes - and got an irresistable urge that she could not at first describe...

["was a statue make a noise" should be "was a statue making a noise "]

*prods thread with a long stick*

*erm.... 'elloooooo?***

Helloooo!!!! Very pleased to meet you

Any chance of getting this chapter on the Page ?

Nooooo!!!! I've lost you again

Guess I'll have to wait a while for another opportunity like that

in reply to TowelMaster in post 3:

hey TowelMaster,

i want a new virtual toilet on my personal space. what experience do you have in this area? are you a toilet salesman?

spook

...and got an irresistable urge that she could not at first describe...

...she reached out to the statue as if to touch it. However, when her hand was about to make contact with it, something made her stop moving. Not sure whether to continue or not, Phinella looked back to where she thought the door was, hoping that the Vicar would give her some kind of clue how to proceed. The door however had completely vanished and nothing but wall stared back at her. Slightly in panic Phinella turned back to the statue. Where it had been cold stone in the first place, it's large eyes were now glowing with what seemed like a blue fiery light....