Saskatchewan
Created | Updated Jul 21, 2005
Saskatchewan in General
(Or, what they tell you in all of the pamphlets)
Saskatchewan (sass-CAT-chew-on) is a province located in the very centre of Canada. It is primarily made up of prairie and farmland, and is the centre of Canada’s “bread basket”, an area which produces a large portion of the world's wheat and other cereals.
Saskatchewan has a very extreme climate range. In winter, the temperature drops to minus forty degrees centigrade or below. When it is below minus forty, these are not good nights to play football with your friends. In summer, temperatures will also venture above positive forty degrees centigrade. This isn’t a good time to play any sort of football, either. Saskatchewan gets the most sunshine of any of the Canadian provinces.
The name for Saskatchewan came from the Cree word Kisiskatchewanisipi, meaning swift flowing river. If you need an idea of Saskatchewan's size, it has a land area of 651,036 sq. km, whereas France has a land area of 545, 630 sq. km. Saskatchewan is 1.2 times the size of France.
Political Saskatchewan
(Or, "I vote for them because my parents did!")
Sasaktchewan has traditionally voted for the New Democratic Party, or NDP. This party is fairly left-wing, and is often referred to as "The Communists" by the populous of Saskatchewan. However, they vote them in as MLAs and MPs every election. Because that's what the voters' parents did.
Near election time, everyone in Saskatchewan takes quite an interest in party activities. More specifically, they pay attention to when politicians are opening offices nearby. Then they go, pretend to listen to the speeches, eat the free dainties and drink the free coffee, then leave. This is a popular activity, and possibly the one reason Saskatchewanites look forward to elections.
Vacationing Tips
(or, If I go there, what will I see?)
Because of an incident involving a bunch of glaciers thousands of years ago, Saskatchewan is very flat. Road trips are not very popular because of this- there isn’t anything to look at on the road except for the odd cow. It has two main rivers, The North Saskatchewan and South Saskatchewan.
Saskatchewan has two main cities: Regina, the capital, and Saskatoon, the one everyone thinks is the capital. It has many interesting place names, but many of these towns are very out of the way. However, if you wish to subject yourself to a road trip, you can have the pleasure of visiting Eyebrow, Elbow, Moose Jaw, Climax, Hell, Love, Tiny, or Prince Albert. There are many more than that with very strange names, but due to the strange name there is rarely a population over 1000. For instance, the hamlet of Tiny is a man and his dog at the end of a single paved road.
In 1929, the province’s population reached 1 million people. In 1929, cars also became much more accessible. So people wised up and left the province. Thus, the population has remained relatively stagnant for the past 80 years.
Climate
(or, Will I need my winter jacket?)
Saskatchewan has a roughly triangular shape, wider at the bottom. It resembles a very tall trapezoid. The south is more populated because it has a tendency to not be as blindingly cold as the north gets in winter.
When visiting Saskatchewan’s many road stops or coffee shops, be prepared to hear two phrases. The first is “Is it [hot/cold/wet/dry/what have you] enough for ya?”. This phrase is often repeated by people looking for conversation, or only trying to annoy you. Just say yes, and move on. You may also come across, if you visit in winter, “But it’s a DRY cold!”. This is a feeble attempt by someone who has lived there all their life to validate the fact that they have stayed here, and not gone to Calgary (also known to most under 30 in Saskatchewan as the Land of Milk and Honey, the Promised Land, and Tax-Free) when it is such a cold, miserable place. Or such a hot, miserable place. They are trying to explain that it isn’t as cold because the air is dry. Which it is. Very very dry.
Shockingly, it was one of the first provinces (right behind Ontario, but so is every province.) to enact gay marriages. The opinion is that this was not a widely advertised move, done in hushed corridors by nervous politicians, who voted while the province was too busy asking each other the question, “cold enough for ya?”
But, despite what motivational speakers will tell you, Saskatchewan is a dreary place. It is very empty. And very traditional. Sure, the sunsets are beautiful, but there’s no one in the place. Best just to skip over it and go to Calgary, Alberta, the way everyone else does.
