Quarter Slamming

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Quarter Slamming is an interesting and potentially painful game that almost anyone can play. All you need is a quarter. If you don't have a quarter, any medium-sized coin will do. Press the quarter on the center of your forehead and press down. No adhesives are allowed. Now position your hand, palm forward behind the upper back of the head and whack with full force. Continue whacking at a steady pace while someone counts the slams, until one of the following situations occurs:

1. The quarter falls off.

2. You can't take the pain any longer. (Whimp!)

3. You render yourself unconcious

The number of slams you get is your score--the higher the better. This game is usually played in competitions at parties or get-togethers. Do not be discouraged if the quarter falls off after only a few slams. This happens even to vetrans of the game like myself, with a record in excess of 500 slams. The trick is to keep your head as straight as possible and to let the slams jerk your head as little as possible.

Origins of Quarter Slamming

Fans of the British sci-fi/comedy Red Dwarf may recall that a version of Quarter Slamming was introduced in the very first episode, in the form of a practical joke played on Petersen by Lister. However, Quarter Slamming dates all the way back to Ancient Greece. Legend has it that there once was a King of Cyprus with a weak spot for wine. One night at a banquet, the court jester decided to make a fool out of the drunken king. The jester presented him with a coin and challanged him to whack himself on the back of his head without knocking it off. The plastered monarch then amazed the entire court by whacking himself all night long without knocking the coin off. The new sport quickly spread throughout Cyprus, and eventually all of Greece. Eventually the sport died out until it was revived for a much different purpose in medieval England. In Greece, like now, it was a party game. No one took it seriously. But in England it was used by the Inquisition as a method of determining guilt or innocence in crimes against the Church. The accuser and the defendant would take a coin blessed by the Bishop of Canterbury, and proceed with the aforementioned process. If the defendant won, he was aquited. If he lost, he was convicted. Modern Quarter Slamming began in 1903, when a Classics professor from Yale stumbled upon the game. He revised the rules and published them.

Conclusion

Quarter Slamming is a high contact sport, and should not be played by anyone under 16, anyone with a head or neck injury, epelleptics or anyone suffering from seizures, or anyone with an ounce of common sense. if you injure yourself Quarter Slamming, it's your own damn fault.


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