"Good Morning, thanks everyone for coming
To the annual departmental review
Personally, it's been a year of many challenges
Most of them caused directly by you!
To help you celebrate my first year in-situ
I'd like to share some take home themes
And even, if you'll indulge me
One or two personal dreams"
"This year, we know, I've had set-backs
And I embrace our culture of no blame
But I took the opportunity, in tandem
To sack those responsible all the same.
We'll continue to right-size the department
Let me mind-share, our face-time is short
Those who remain off message, I promise
Will all eventually be caught"
"My first year as your leader
Has been very exciting for you all, I know
But how can I possibly lead you
When you won't tell me where you want to go?
As your leader, I say to you; Trust me
We must lose sight of the shore to discover new lands!"
(Unfortunately, we all know our dear leader
Couldn't discover his arse using both hands)
"I say to everyone here this morning
We all have a personal leadership role
To ensure our continued capability
And each one of us must own that goal.
Individual initiative, but in a framework
Empowered, but with a command structure in place
Room to develop, but with incentivisation
Succeeding together, but with plenty of space.
We must innovate in an iterative fashion
Remain cutting edge to deliver and grow
Recontextualise our holistic capabilities
To ensure we remain "best in show"
Ensure our methodologies and transition planning
Continue to evolve, to leverage our strong brand
Architecting our parallel platforms
To deliver the added-value, we've planned
I'm dreaming of a synergistic end-state vision
Which is backward-compatible, enterprise-wide
We'll be principle-centred, high band-width
Go the extra mile to avoid the blind-side
We must control all the controllables
Push the envelope beyond where we dare
But what's particularly mission-critical
Is that I'm not uninstalled early next year!"