h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

oops. getting my smileys mixed up.



- Adam

hmm, perhaps under some "degenerate case" section, along with those polished poles which are used by the fire departments in order to do some, err, guided falling

Degenerate case means: if you take a fly of stairs and remove stair by stair so the whole gets steeper and steeper, until no stair is left over, and only the hand rail remains. But this would surely be stuff for a follow-up entry on other means of vertical motion.

Wouldn't that be a cliff?

a very good (and precise)entry. something I noticed:
In the beginning you described the person using the stair(case) with "he", later you used the neutral "they". I'd favour the latter.
good bye

I feel you should cut down the bit about climbing standard stairs in a standard manner - try and half the length of that bit, if you can. It's ok - but it just drags somewhat - I ended up skipping most of it anyway. After that it starts to improve.

You should probably do Lift rather than the other way round.

You could mention lots of other stuff, like that detailed below.

The reasoning behind fire escapes, and other such building regulation trivia.
Stannah Stair Lifts.
Those 'slinky' things that wander down stairs on their own before becoming hopelessly tangled.
Sliding down stairs on plastic trays and suchlike when you're very young.
Slipping over on stairs and sliding painfully down them on your bottom.
Running up stais as good excersize.
Running down stairs as being bad for your knees.
Going up/down stairs 2-3 at a time.
Sliding down banisters
The little spiky things they put on banisters to discourage people from sliding down them.
Carpeted versus uncarpeted stairs.
Cleaning carpeted stairs.
Small children or pets and stairs.
Those stair guards they use to solve the above problem.
'Flights' of Staircases.
Why are 'flights' called 'flights' when they never actually fly anywhere?
RollerSkating down stairs (as used by theives on various underground stations).
The little metal things they use to keep the carpet on stairs following the shape of the stairs.
The supposedly comical effect of loosening the above.

And, of course, famous staircases around the world.

Like the 'stairway to heaven'. And, umm, that's all I can think of atm.

And also the '3 steps to heaven'.

Marvellous article. Just the sort of thing I love to see (and write).

Two things that sprang to mind:

(1) Phantom stairs: From personal experience the occasion where this happens most is in near or complete darkness when you genuinely have no comprehension of how many stairs there should be. Even if you're virtually crawling up the stairs on hands and knees it's possible to fall foul of the Phantom Stair. Also: while pissed.

(2) Flying: isn't this, more precisely, from 'Life, the Universe, and Everything' and later appearing in 'So Long and Thanks for All the Fish' (when Arthur taught Fenchurch how to fly) and 'Mostly Harmless' (or was this when he did the flying lessons?).

A tip: if you have a wooden spiral staircase at your dispostion, try lying down on your stomach at the top and slowly let yourself slide down the staircase head first. Despite the fact that this is very , very painful and you will have a bruise starting at your ribs stretching all the way to your knees, it's an experience not to be missed.
However, this is an extremely dangerous sport, for the simple reason that it's so inceredibly hilarious to do. And no, the pain will not stop you laughing. Once you first start laughing, there's a big chance you might lose your hold of the step you're on and go sliding uncontrollably down the entire staircase and break your neck. But by all means, try it.

Ouch!

The Vatican Museum in Rome has a wonderful staircase. It is really two staircases in the form of a double spiral. One is used for "up" and the other for "down". You can see people on the other stair, but you never meet them.

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