Who Wants To Pass?
Created | Updated Oct 20, 2010
<p><font size="-1"><center>-This is a parody of the quiz-game type style, one example of which is "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire". I can't say I really like the show, as the contestants are sometimes horrifyingly stupid, but my friends and I have always liked this parody that we wrote. It happened one time when we were bored over at one of my friend's houses, and we noticed that he had his "Word" program opened. This is what happens when you leave us two together long enough to get bored. It's usually not a great idea.-</center></font></p>
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<BR/>
<p><font size="+3" style="bold">
<center>Who Wants To Pass?</center>
</font></p>
<BR/>
<BR/><p>
<align="right">A skit by:
<BR/>Vidboi</b>
<BR/>and</b>
<BR/>An Anonymous Heretic</align></p>
<BR/>
<p>Setting: 5 students at 5 desks. One teacher.</p>
<p>Teacher: Who wants to pass?</p>
<p>Students: Me me meeeee!</p>
<p>Teacher: One of you will have a chance for an A. But you will have to answer this question: What are the three primary colors?</p>
<p>Student 1: (Rings buzzer) Cyan, turquoise, and...um, clear!</p>
<p>Teacher: That is incorrect.</p>
<p>Student 2: (Buzz in) Red, Blue, and Lazer Lemon!</p>
<p>Teacher: No.</p>
<p>Student 3: (Buzz) Green, verde, and zilonoi!</p>
<p>Teacher: Um, I'll check with the judges. (Looks at watch) No!</p>
<p>Student 3: Crap, Crap, Crap!!!</p>
<p>Student 4: (Buzz) Wat are red, blue, and yellow?</p>
<p>Teacher: The primary colors. This isn't Jeopardy. You're out!</p>
<p>Student 5: This is hard. Red, blue, and yellow.</p>
<p>Teacher: That is correct! You now have a D. Will you risk it for a C?</p>
<p>Student: Yes.</p>
<p>T: Alright. Here is your question. For a C: How many states are in the United States of America? Is it A: Two. B: One hundred billion. C: Fifty. Or D: None, they live in anarchy.</p>
<p>S: Fifty.</p>
<p>T: Are you confident about this?</p>
<p>S: Yes.</p>
<p>T: Is that your...Final answer?</p>
<p>S: Yes.</p>
<p>C. This is a passing grade. But, will you risk going back to an F for a B?</p>
<p>S: Yes.</p>
<p>T: Are you sure?</p>
<p>S: Yes.</p>
<p>T: Alright. For a B: How many boards would the Mongols hoard if the Mongol hordes got bored? Is it A: They wouldn't hoard boards, they would hoard beef jerky. B: As many asy they could. C: One hundred billion. Or D: However much a woodchuck would chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.</p>
<p>S: I'm going to ask the audience on this one.</p>
<p>T: Alright. Audience, any suggestions?</p>
<p>Audience: BEEF JERKY!</p>
<p>Audience II: BEEF JERKY!</p>
<p>Audience III: BEEF JERKY!</p>
<p>Audience IV: BEEF JERKY- no, wait, Um, ONE HUNDRED BILLI- no, that isn't it. Ahh, WOODCHUCK! YEAH! WOODCHUCK! (Chant) WOODCHUCK, WOODCHUCK! WOODCHUCK, WOODCHUCK! WOODCHUCK, WOODCH-</p>
<p>T: THANK YOU, AUDIENCE!</p>
<p>S: That didn't help at all. I'm going with B: As many as they could.</p>
<p>T: Well, you're going against everything your fellow students said. Are you fairly confident?</p>
<p>S: Yes.</p>
<p>T: So B is your final answer?</p>
<p>S: YES.</p>
<p>T: And B: As many as they want to, is...CORRECT! You now have a B. (Reaches across to student with paper reading "B" in hand, waves it under Student's nose). Smell the Midterm! Smell it!</p>
<p>S: Smells like paper.</p>
<p>T: Really? (Sniffs it) HOLY COW! You're right!</p>
<p>S: Do I have an A now?</p>
<p>T: NO. You could, however, risk it all for an A, or stay safe with your B.</p>
<p>S: I'm going for the A.</p>
<p>Audience: (Gasp)</p>
<p>T: Are you sure?</p>
<p>S: YES!</p>
<p>T: Very well. For the A: How many legs did the Norse God Odin's horse have? Is it A: None. It had forty-two wings. B: One hundred billion. C: Four. D: Six. E: Eight. Or F: Odin had a motorcycle, not a horse.</p>
<p>S: Ummmm... Oh! Yeah, this was on that other game-show, "Need." I'm going with F: Odin had a motorcycle, not a horse.</p>
<p>T: Are you confident with this answer?</p>
<p>S: Yes.</p>
<p>T: Are you positive that it's F?</p>
<p>S: YES.</p>
<p>T: Is this...your final answer?</p>
<p>S: YES!!!</p>
<p>T: Okey-dokey. I'm checking with the judges as to whether it's F. (Checks watch). And they tell me that it is...</p>
<p>S: Yes?</p>
<p>T: The answer...</p>
<p>S: Yes?</p>
<p>T: That corresponds with the letter...</p>
<p>S: YES?</p>
<p>T: That begins with...</p>
<p>S: JUST SAY THE ANSWER, YOU MORON!!!</p>
<p>T: E. You lose.</p>
<p>S: But I...</p>
<p>T: That's all the time we have for "Who Wants To Pass" Tune in next week for the competition between a freshman and Stephen Hawking.</p>
<p>S: But my B... I... (He is overcome with emotion).</p>
<BR/>
<p><center><font size="+1">THE END</font></center></p>
<BR/>
<BR/>
<p><font size="+3" style="bold">
<center>Who Wants To Pass?</center>
</font></p>
<BR/>
<BR/><p>
<align="right">A skit by:
<BR/>Vidboi</b>
<BR/>and</b>
<BR/>An Anonymous Heretic</align></p>
<BR/>
<p>Setting: 5 students at 5 desks. One teacher.</p>
<p>Teacher: Who wants to pass?</p>
<p>Students: Me me meeeee!</p>
<p>Teacher: One of you will have a chance for an A. But you will have to answer this question: What are the three primary colors?</p>
<p>Student 1: (Rings buzzer) Cyan, turquoise, and...um, clear!</p>
<p>Teacher: That is incorrect.</p>
<p>Student 2: (Buzz in) Red, Blue, and Lazer Lemon!</p>
<p>Teacher: No.</p>
<p>Student 3: (Buzz) Green, verde, and zilonoi!</p>
<p>Teacher: Um, I'll check with the judges. (Looks at watch) No!</p>
<p>Student 3: Crap, Crap, Crap!!!</p>
<p>Student 4: (Buzz) Wat are red, blue, and yellow?</p>
<p>Teacher: The primary colors. This isn't Jeopardy. You're out!</p>
<p>Student 5: This is hard. Red, blue, and yellow.</p>
<p>Teacher: That is correct! You now have a D. Will you risk it for a C?</p>
<p>Student: Yes.</p>
<p>T: Alright. Here is your question. For a C: How many states are in the United States of America? Is it A: Two. B: One hundred billion. C: Fifty. Or D: None, they live in anarchy.</p>
<p>S: Fifty.</p>
<p>T: Are you confident about this?</p>
<p>S: Yes.</p>
<p>T: Is that your...Final answer?</p>
<p>S: Yes.</p>
<p>C. This is a passing grade. But, will you risk going back to an F for a B?</p>
<p>S: Yes.</p>
<p>T: Are you sure?</p>
<p>S: Yes.</p>
<p>T: Alright. For a B: How many boards would the Mongols hoard if the Mongol hordes got bored? Is it A: They wouldn't hoard boards, they would hoard beef jerky. B: As many asy they could. C: One hundred billion. Or D: However much a woodchuck would chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.</p>
<p>S: I'm going to ask the audience on this one.</p>
<p>T: Alright. Audience, any suggestions?</p>
<p>Audience: BEEF JERKY!</p>
<p>Audience II: BEEF JERKY!</p>
<p>Audience III: BEEF JERKY!</p>
<p>Audience IV: BEEF JERKY- no, wait, Um, ONE HUNDRED BILLI- no, that isn't it. Ahh, WOODCHUCK! YEAH! WOODCHUCK! (Chant) WOODCHUCK, WOODCHUCK! WOODCHUCK, WOODCHUCK! WOODCHUCK, WOODCH-</p>
<p>T: THANK YOU, AUDIENCE!</p>
<p>S: That didn't help at all. I'm going with B: As many as they could.</p>
<p>T: Well, you're going against everything your fellow students said. Are you fairly confident?</p>
<p>S: Yes.</p>
<p>T: So B is your final answer?</p>
<p>S: YES.</p>
<p>T: And B: As many as they want to, is...CORRECT! You now have a B. (Reaches across to student with paper reading "B" in hand, waves it under Student's nose). Smell the Midterm! Smell it!</p>
<p>S: Smells like paper.</p>
<p>T: Really? (Sniffs it) HOLY COW! You're right!</p>
<p>S: Do I have an A now?</p>
<p>T: NO. You could, however, risk it all for an A, or stay safe with your B.</p>
<p>S: I'm going for the A.</p>
<p>Audience: (Gasp)</p>
<p>T: Are you sure?</p>
<p>S: YES!</p>
<p>T: Very well. For the A: How many legs did the Norse God Odin's horse have? Is it A: None. It had forty-two wings. B: One hundred billion. C: Four. D: Six. E: Eight. Or F: Odin had a motorcycle, not a horse.</p>
<p>S: Ummmm... Oh! Yeah, this was on that other game-show, "Need." I'm going with F: Odin had a motorcycle, not a horse.</p>
<p>T: Are you confident with this answer?</p>
<p>S: Yes.</p>
<p>T: Are you positive that it's F?</p>
<p>S: YES.</p>
<p>T: Is this...your final answer?</p>
<p>S: YES!!!</p>
<p>T: Okey-dokey. I'm checking with the judges as to whether it's F. (Checks watch). And they tell me that it is...</p>
<p>S: Yes?</p>
<p>T: The answer...</p>
<p>S: Yes?</p>
<p>T: That corresponds with the letter...</p>
<p>S: YES?</p>
<p>T: That begins with...</p>
<p>S: JUST SAY THE ANSWER, YOU MORON!!!</p>
<p>T: E. You lose.</p>
<p>S: But I...</p>
<p>T: That's all the time we have for "Who Wants To Pass" Tune in next week for the competition between a freshman and Stephen Hawking.</p>
<p>S: But my B... I... (He is overcome with emotion).</p>
<BR/>
<p><center><font size="+1">THE END</font></center></p>
