h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

...this time accompanied by Gosho, Mu Beta, Odo, Beatrice and that staple fare of all h2g2 meets, 2legs.

My impressions: yes, the service is dismal, but at least it was cheerfully inept, which is a good thing. I've seen worse.

The sole waiter did not have clue about the varieties of booze he was serving, so we resorted to a point-and-nod method which worked on the fifth or sixth attempt.

Being overwhelmed by the array of tapas, we plumped for the kitchen to serve us a meze, which was a mixed blessing. On the plus side, we got to sample the gorgeous patatas bravas; on the flipside, it did feel like the kitchen was foisting off all their cheapest dishes on us. Requests for a minimum of seafood were ignored or forgotten, but this didn't worry me: I like fish.

I was very disappointed with the paella, which just came across as rice with chunks of fish and sausage in; not amalgamated into the umami-laden whole as you would get in Spain. I'm not even sure the rice had been cooked in stock.

Bearing in mind the restaurant's inadequacies, I would be remarkably keen to pay a return visit to Bar Cava, but fore-armed with knowledge. It would be much better to order six or seven good tapas dishes from the menu, rather than rely on the chef's whims, and easy to steer clear of anything that might prove too difficult for the kitchen. Let the good produce speak for itself by ordering the cured meats, cheeses and simple seafood dishes and it should prove to be a rewarding meal.

B