Particularly useful on London buses in the rush hour as a method of redirecting misdirected anger, they are also capable of delivering miraculous results when placed firmly in the groin of secretive fumblers on the Underground.

We should be thankful that monkey boots never reached their original market. An army of monkeys equipped with monkey boots could wreak havoc on an unsuspecting farming community. Or zoo-keeper. Fortunately for us, monkeys have always known that they don’t wear boots. A vigorous marketing campaign to persuade them to wear the boots in the early Sixties met with failure. So, most of the boots were recalled from the jungle and sold to shops; the monkeys’ last chance for world domination came and went without most of them knowing.