How did I do, then?

You were not good enough.

Oh. I thought I did not-too-badly.

Not-too-badly isn't good enough.

I didn't kill or rob anyone or covet my neighbour's ass.

You didn't believe.

Well, it was unbelievable.

That's why you need faith.

I didn't have any faith.

That's why you can't enter Heaven.

Because I couldn't believe what was unbelievable?

Yes. Faith involves the ability to believe the unbelievable.

So we were in the world to learn not to make sense of it?

You were in the world to learn to ignore it.

And do what?

Love God.

Love something that doesn't exist?

But He does.

I saw no sign of it.

You didn't look properly.

I saw that if there was a creator god, it was wholly evil.

God is God.

You mean it's allowed to be evil because it's god?

Allowed? God is God.

Because it makes the rules and decides what's good and what's evil?

God is good.

If a father hurts a child in a jealous rage, that's evil isn't it?

Not if the Father is God.

So god loves his children only if they're sycophants and grovellers?

If they love and worship Him. Yes.

What would we make of a human parent with that attitude?

God isn't human.

He's not very loveable, is he?

God is love.

If that's true, love is badly misunderstood.

It certainly is.

Where shall I go, then?

To Hell.

Can I go to Oblivion instead please?

Cease to exist? No.

What are the choices?

There are none.

How long must I stay in Hell?

Eternity.

I was never evil.

You are not the judge.

The judge isn't impartial.

He makes the rules.

But, was I bad enough for hell?

There's just Heaven or Hell and you weren't good enough for Heaven.

I tried to do no harm.

You didn't help to save anyone.

Save them from what?

From Hell.

If god doesn't want people to go to hell, why did he make it?

To punish failure.

He should go there then. He made a lot of failures.

He is not being judged.

He is.

You cannot judge God.

So who is going to heaven?

No-one you know.

Did anyone get it right?

No.

What? You mean all the faithers had faith in the wrong sets of unbelievable things?

Of course. With faith, that's inevitable.

But they did have faith in something, didn't they?

Having faith in a lie is worse than having no faith at all.

And we're all going to hell?

It will be very crowded.

How funny.

Yes. It's a good joke.

I'd better be off then. Where is it?

You're already here.