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My home town is Scunthorpe, North Lincolnshire in the UK - birthplace of such luminaries as Tony Jacklin, Donald Pleasance and Joan Plowright and the home of Scunthorpe United, one of only three English professional football teams with a 'rude' word in their names (answers on a postcard, please).

Scunthorpe used to be known (and proud of it) as 'The Industrial Garden Town' on the grounds that it had a bigger area of parks, gardens, woodland etc per capita than any other town in England. Nowadays it is slightly less well known (and slightly less proud of it) as 'The Industrial Garden Town of North Lincolnshire' on the grounds that it has a bigger area of parks, gardens, woodland etc per capita than any other town in North Lincolnshire because the parks, gardens, woodland etc are being converted into housing estates. This is known as 'progress', and at its current rate it's estimated that by May 17, 2004 Scunthorpe will simply be known as 'The Industrial Garden Town of Scunthorpe' - or possibly just 'Scunthorpe' on the grounds that it no longer has any parks, gardens, woodland etc.

The town is home to one of the country's 'big four' (now three) major steelworks belonging to Corus (formerly British Steel), with the whole town growing up with the development of the steelworks around the biggest iron-ore field in Europe - although use of this local ore was discontinued totally in the 1980's.

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