h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Do you feel as if your standard of living has dropped over the past twelve months? If so, in what ways?

Yes of course my standard of living has dropped. We are not eating out so often, we are not having the same branded goods as we did before, I have less money at the end of the month than I did before etc. I am not suffering though. I have a roof over my head, I have a car I can afford to run, I have a well paid job and I have a little bit of security. I am counting myself lucky.

What do you think the main factors behind the current economic situation are?

Greed, greed and more greed. Someone somewhere thought that the risk of buying someone else’s bad debt (which is what the sub-prime mortgages were) was a worthwhile one taking. Looking at it from a normal person’s view… if they are your bad debts, and weren’t going to pay you, then why on earth would they pay me?! Perhaps that is an over simplification, but for heaven’s sake! The idea of large bonuses turned traders heads and common sense flew out the window.

Can governments have much sway over national economic conditions in a global financial community?

I hope so. Otherwise £50 billion has just gone down the swanee.

Have you changed any major life decisions based on changing economic conditions?

Well there is no point trying to buy a house at the moment, because even if you aren’t too bad a risk for the mortgage company, no bank is going to lend you money. At all. Nada.
Is boom and bust inevitable in our economic system? If so, how can its effects be lessened? Yup. What goes up, must come down. But if the bubble doesn’t grow too big or crazy then it won’t burst quite so badly will it?

Do you remember previous economic crises? If so, how does this one compare? Do you think things will get back to 'normal' and when?

I remember the recession in the early 90’s and that was pretty horrible. I think that this one is going to be even worse!! It will last for 3-4 years I expect, and it is going to get worse before it gets better.

Can you see any benefits arising from the current situation? For example, do you think people might become less wasteful?

Well, crises do tend to bring out the best in people. We will see, won’t we!

Dear Mr King,

Mervyn, if I may be so bold, I appreciate you have a lot on your mind at the moment, but perhaps I could help.

I am experiencing a personal credit crisis, I've borrowed too much, had too many holidays, and lived too well. As a result of this I owe quite large sums of money to various credit card companies and banks.

What's this got to do with you ? Well, I was thinking that if you gave me the money to pay off all my creditors, I would no longer have to be tightening my belt. As well as that you will have reduced the banks financial problems by removing one bad payer from about 20 different companies.

Wait - it gets better - if you do pay off all my debts, I will move to a bigger house, thus boosting the housing sector, and I'll start spending money on luxury items, which will boost the retail sector.

Doesn't this sound a lot better than giving it to that silly Mr Darling and that wastrel Mr Brown ? If you were to do this to 30,000,000 people around the country - none of whom should be City traders - not only will you provide a massive boost to the economy, it will cost you less than bailing out all those stockmarket traders and bank gamblers who got us into this mess in the first place.

You will also be in an excellent position to pick your job in the next cabinet, which I envisage being formed by Frankie Boyle.

Yours sincerely;