Apples of Temptation
Created | Updated May 6, 2005
I've come to the conclusion that God was right. An Apple is baaaaad news. There it is, hanging on the tree of Knowledge, so round and red and ripe, a vibrant contrast amidst the surrounding foliage, just *begging* you to sink your teeth into it. And, even though you might know better, you're tempted. Because, just looking at it, you can *taste* how sweet it'll be to break through its tight, seamless skin, have its juice running down your chin. What could be more natural than the desire to devour an Apple? And what harm could really come of it?
But, ya know, God *did* warn against testing Apples. They're insidious things, even though they *are* one of God's creations, and have their own, special place in the order of things. I believe Kirk Johnson did extensive research on putting Apples in their proper place, before he moved on to bigger issues.
What happens when you bite into an Apple? Well, it might be ripe, sweet and as ready as its appearance would suggest, to turn it into something divine, like cider. On the other hand, once your eager lips kiss the skin, and your teeth penetrate the flesh, you might find your mouth full of ancient, putrid, mushy, rottenness. And there be worms, squirming across your tongue, severed sections slithering down your chin, *plopping* disgustingly on the ground to hastily (as worms go) make their way back into the comfortable darkness at the roots of the Tree of Knowledge, where Trolls live, and feed on them.
The Moral to the story? Simple. Avoid tasting the Apple of temptation, or accept that you've chosen the path of a lifetime of spitting out the same old unsavory mess, as the flavor of rotten Apples lingers eternally.
But, ya know, God *did* warn against testing Apples. They're insidious things, even though they *are* one of God's creations, and have their own, special place in the order of things. I believe Kirk Johnson did extensive research on putting Apples in their proper place, before he moved on to bigger issues.
What happens when you bite into an Apple? Well, it might be ripe, sweet and as ready as its appearance would suggest, to turn it into something divine, like cider. On the other hand, once your eager lips kiss the skin, and your teeth penetrate the flesh, you might find your mouth full of ancient, putrid, mushy, rottenness. And there be worms, squirming across your tongue, severed sections slithering down your chin, *plopping* disgustingly on the ground to hastily (as worms go) make their way back into the comfortable darkness at the roots of the Tree of Knowledge, where Trolls live, and feed on them.
The Moral to the story? Simple. Avoid tasting the Apple of temptation, or accept that you've chosen the path of a lifetime of spitting out the same old unsavory mess, as the flavor of rotten Apples lingers eternally.
