h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Why does no-one offer conclusive proof about global warming? I'll tell you why, because no-one knows it yet. We, as humans, like to think we are control of everything and only God/Allah could possible have more control than us and therefore we must be solely responsible for a changing climate! Not the fact that we live on a ball of fire, or our main source of heat - other than the ball we live on - is an enormous, glorious inferno of a star, or indeed the solar system or Universe we also inhabit - no, global warming is down to use producing a natural gas in large quantities - albeit less than the sea and less than decaying animal and plant matter and also less than bits of the ball of fire that sometimes escape through cracks in its hardened skin . In fact, so in control are we, that we can even stop it! Shame we werent around a few million years ago when the world froze and an almight heat wave. Most normal people I speak to arent convinced either. Dont get me wrong, a little ecology wouldnt go a miss, afterall trees do inhale CO2 and they're rather prettier than concrete too - but can you imagine 1000 self-glorified, jumped up, precocious popstars arranging a concert for something like that? No, but I suspect it would have been more convincing if they had wandered around the streets of their chosen cities with plackards saying "the end of the world is nigh" and singing "kum-bye-ya me lord"... or even selling some of their houses or jets and vowing never to fly again - then I might be a little less cynical about the whole thing

In fact, here are todays top tips for attempting to reduce alleged global climate change:

1. Newspapers to be prevented from writing about gossip and celebrities. This will reduce the amount of paper required across the western world. Only factual "news" is to be produced, this will further reduce the paper usage of the western world.

2. Car ownership should be reduced to one per person. This will ensure that people only have a car that is most useful to them

3. Global Awareness concerts will have to be banned due to the high levels of unnecessary electricity that is required just to power, never mind televise

4. Flights will only be permitted on 737s and bigger provided they're at least 75% full (thereby reducing CO2 per person on flights). Sadly as a result of this charter and personal/private flights will have to be banned.. Sadly this will mean the likes of Madonna, Bono, McCartney and other stars, will have to fly with ordinary people

5. Marathons and other events that promote exercise will have to be reduced to one or two per year, due to the amount of Co2 produced by people exhaling during exercise.

Unfortunately these five steps, do only seem to affect very reach people who can afford to do these things in the first place; like footballers, pop-stars, failed presidential candidates and IT people; but we all have to make sacrifices to save the Earth!!

I think you guys need to check out this new site...it has a lot of infor about climate change and gives a good view of what you can contribute as well as a this carbon output impact thingy. You can join and share your score.

http://www.earthlab.com/

theres deffo something going on thats for sure the seasons are changing in the uk we get temps one day of 1c and the next up too 11c harldy any snow which used to be very heavy and last for weeks now its damp wet rainy crap a little frost from time to time .

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