Once again we are beholden to the current executors of the Knolly estate for letting us publish this, the second package of the great man's journals and memoirs.

I have lately found that the City of London is best avoided between the hours of 8.00am and 9.00am. It seems that everyone today wants to get somewhere in a hurry.

I am very glad that I rarely have to be in the office at such an hour, and that when I find myself having to report in, it can take place at a much more leisurely hour of the day. Lunchtime is often favourable for all involved parties.

One would think that a modern railway station would have a plethora of cabs available for the multitude of customers spilling regularly out from the concourse ... but alas, no. I am certain that it was only down to Elspeth and her forceful nature that we managed to jump the queue. Well, the barely-concealed elephant gun also might have helped in that respect, I suppose...

The journey should have taken no more than 15 to 20 minutes, but it was more like a full three-quarter-hour by the time we pulled up in Torrington Place ('close enough - but not too close', as I explained to Elspeth). The weather gods were looking elsewhere as we alighted with our luggage and paid the driver, although I think the blighter could have tried to avoid stopping over a huge puddle. I stepped straight into the same, and with no gaiters or spats in my travelling wardrobe, my foot was soon awash. The driver scowled at the paucity of the tip and I just shook my damp foot in his direction; all thoughts of retaining him for the rest of our journey were instantly forgotten.

After a few squelching yards (during which Elspeth continually told me to stop moaning about my soggy socks) we arrived at Merrick's front door. I rang the doorbell which thankfully seemed to have now recovered from Bertie's over exuberance.

There was a sense of déjà vu as the door was opened once again by Merrick's young female companion. But goodness! What a difference! Was it really only 3 or 4 days since this young woman had opened the door for Bertie and me without so much as a stitch of clothing? It seemed that she had suffered a crisis of confidence over what to wear, and thus it was that she seemed to be wearing at least half of the clothing that was bought for her during the shopping expedition with my wife.

Charlie's green eyes lit up with joy when she saw the pair of us, and she smiled as only someone with such pronounced canines can. She and Elspeth immediately began conversing in sign language with the odd real word thrown in for good measure.

'Who is it m'dear?' called John from within.

Dropping all of her bags save one, Elspeth bustled Charlie away from the door and down the hall to the bedroom with a cheery 'Come with me, Charlie. I have something for you.'

I waited until they were out of earshot. 'Hullo John! It's me - Knolly. Can I use your telephone thingy?' I called, picking up the dropped luggage and making sure I placed the gun behind a potted plant to ensure John was not offended by its presence.

'Is that all?' he answered gruffly. 'I thought that you might have come to apologise for what Elspeth has done to young Fi.'

I moved slowly into the room where Merrick sat.

'Don't you mean Charlie ... errrr .... Charlotte?'

'See what I mean?' he hissed. 'She's even changed her name without my permission!'

'John, calm down!' I said as I sat myself opposite him. 'Elspeth means well and you know it. Did she really need your permission?'

Merrick gave me a sideways glance (how else could the poor fellow glance?).

'Oh, I know! It's just that one minute she's a kitten and the next she's a cat and all womanly and feminine and wearing clothes ...'

'But surely you don't want her to be an outcast? You want her to fit in?' I looked at him. 'Don't you?'

'Yes...' he sighed, 'but I don't want to lose her. I know what the real world is like. It can be dangerous for the likes of me and her, and this all seems to be happening rather too quickly.'

'But you saved her from all that and she knows it. She won't leave you. You just need to give her time to experience new things, and this most definitely needs a woman's touch, which - if you will pardon my frankness - you most definitely do not have. Besides, on our earlier telephonic conversation you seemed quite taken with the whole idea?'

'Yes .... but when Elspeth dropped Charlotte back here ....'

He stopped mid sentence, mouth hanging open, looking just over my shoulder.

'Well Knolly! I think this works really, really well. What say you, sir?' she asked breezily.

I turned from the open-jawed John to see my wife; in front of her stood Charlotte, dressed - as what can only be described as - 'ready for action'.

Elspeth was grinning from ear to ear. 'Well?' she asked.

Charlotte struck a very bendy pose and tottered somewhat, her slightly-heeled boots were obviously still an issue. She was clearly enjoying the attention and the fit of the leotard. The black balaclava helmet had been fashioned so that her ears had freedom to move, and the black corset was an interesting addition to the ensemble (although it looked somewhat tight to me).

Elspeth waggled a finger through a spare button loop. 'Useful attachment, I thought?'

I let out the breath that I had been holding.

'Well! Indeed! You ...er .... look ...um ..hot. No, no. You look warm. Are you comfy like that, Charlie?' I managed to squeak.

From beneath the fingerless armoured gauntlets that Hobbes had fashioned, there came an audible metallic chink as Charlotte flexed her claws. She emitted a low guttural growl which fair gave me goosebumps and seemed to have an instant effect on me, not unlike that of a 'Gender Bender'.

Elspeth smiled at my obvious discomfort.

'She can't go out in that!' spluttered John. 'You can see..... things. Many things!'

'Goodness, John!' said Elspeth. 'You've had her parading around in naught but her fur, and now she's slightly covered you find it offensive! Besides, this is not normal day wear. It is close fitting enough that she can wear other clothes over the top. She'll wear lace gloves normally too, so the whole ensemble will be extremely warm and ideal for the Highlands of Scotland.'

'You can't let Bertie see her like that, though', said Merrick. 'Heaven knows what he'll think.'

'Bertie! Lordie! Good thinking, John. Where's your telephone thingy? I nearly forgot all about it.'

'It's through there,' he said, indicating with his good arm. 'Is Fi - er, Charlie - all right?' he asked , troubled as he was by the sudden wobbling and teetering of the young lady - which ended up with Charlotte falling forward to the floor.

'See? I told you she was hot,' I said rather pointedly which earned me a look from my wife.

'She's not used to such clothing being so close to her fur ... and what with the fire in here too, she's fainted,' added John.

'Come on!' said Elspeth gathering her skirts and kneeling down by the poor girl, 'Get the woollen helmet off and loosen her corset. Oh I told her it was too tight, but would the silly girl listen? Oh, no! She insisted on an extra notch'.

'Yes...well I suppose that's fashion for you, isn't it', sneered John, as he slowly carried the floppy cat-woman to a settee.

The Great Knolly Archive

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