Earth - in 264 words
Created | Updated Apr 21, 2006
The Earth is a small, mostly harmless, blue-green planetoid, third in a nine-planet system orbiting a wholly unremarkable G2 star called, imaginatively enough by the occupants of said planet, the “Sun”. The dominant species is a carbon based bi-pedal mammal whose main occupations are recreation, domination, procreation, being entirely contradictory and illogical, and watching and dissecting soap-operas/reality TV.
Despite having an abundance of soaring mountain ranges, deep azure oceans, verdant forests (tropical to temperate) and vast deserts, the human race seems intent on covering as much of the earth as possible with varying forms of concrete and tarmacadam, using ever larger off-roaders on the treacherous school run, flying to ever more exotic and far-away holiday destinations and then complaining about their guilt that the environment is in such a state, and why won’t someone do something about it?
The earth is split into five (or for the more generous, seven) continents, subdivided into countries. Disputes between countries lead to wars, famine, pestilence, and in very serious cases into sports events (see world cups, Olympics). Sometimes, in the extreme examples, wars are started over sports events (see refereeing decisions).
The current tenants of the earth are relatively short-term lease-holders having only really been in occupation for 150,000 years and the planet being roughly 3.8 billion years old. In that time, continents have collided, split-up, wandered off, pirouetted, frozen, subducted and erupted with little or no apparent thought for the then inhabitants (see mass extinctions). Many deeper thinkers have concluded that the latest of these is surely overdue given the habits of the incumbent dominant species.
Despite having an abundance of soaring mountain ranges, deep azure oceans, verdant forests (tropical to temperate) and vast deserts, the human race seems intent on covering as much of the earth as possible with varying forms of concrete and tarmacadam, using ever larger off-roaders on the treacherous school run, flying to ever more exotic and far-away holiday destinations and then complaining about their guilt that the environment is in such a state, and why won’t someone do something about it?
The earth is split into five (or for the more generous, seven) continents, subdivided into countries. Disputes between countries lead to wars, famine, pestilence, and in very serious cases into sports events (see world cups, Olympics). Sometimes, in the extreme examples, wars are started over sports events (see refereeing decisions).
The current tenants of the earth are relatively short-term lease-holders having only really been in occupation for 150,000 years and the planet being roughly 3.8 billion years old. In that time, continents have collided, split-up, wandered off, pirouetted, frozen, subducted and erupted with little or no apparent thought for the then inhabitants (see mass extinctions). Many deeper thinkers have concluded that the latest of these is surely overdue given the habits of the incumbent dominant species.
