Growing Up Fast
Created | Updated Mar 12, 2005
I’m a very clever girl. Lots of people say so. They can’t believe it when I tell them I’m only ten.
But I can’t work this one out. I’m bored, just sitting here and waiting for Dad to come home. Me and the dogs. Maybe I’ll understand if I go over it one more time.
It all started out on the hill. It’s a jungle now, but it didn’t used to be. I was up there on the crest, looking down onto this house nestling in its little valley. My house. It was a farmhouse once, but my Dad is a Human Resources Executive, and that’s a better job than farming.
I can still remember climbing the hill for the first time, even though it was such a long time ago. It was a little bit after some Christmas while I was still a kid. The big fence at the back of the house wasn’t there then, and you could just walk out onto the slope, where it had been ploughed over. There were ridges in the ground, and it was all black and frozen. It was rubbish really, because you couldn’t play on it or anything.
But it’s all changed now. Dad said he’s made sure that nobody’s going to build houses here for years, so I can play on the hill while I grow up.
I wasn’t expecting it to look like it did when I came home for summer. The grass is taller than I am. You can make trails, and stalk things like a hunter. It was great for the first few days, but the trouble is there are no kids here. Only those boring girls who think they’re grown up. Them and babies.
You get lonely hunting on your own. I nearly said I’d go to the tennis club with Consuela this morning; that’s how bored I was. But instead I went up the hill, and for once something interesting happened.
I was making a path to the tree on the hilltop. Last summer, I couldn’t climb that tree, but the big girls could, and they kept taunting me about it, and saying the view up there was amazing. I thought maybe I could climb it now I’m bigger, so that was where I was going when I heard him.
I knew it was a little kid, even though I couldn’t see him in all that grass. He wasn’t speaking or singing or anything, but he made plenty of noise anyway, panting and thrashing about. I stopped dead still and listened and watched. I was feeling kind of excited, and I was just making a plan to surprise this kid, when can you believe what happened? My stupid mobile started ringing.
I switched it off as quick as I could, but now he knew I was there. He still didn’t talk, though. He started making funny yelping noises and thrashing about in the grass even harder. I wasn’t scared, because I knew he was just a stupid little boy.
I looked down at the house, and I could see that stupid woman at the big bedroom window. She could see me, and I guess she could see him too, because she was waving her arms around. I hate her. She’s not my mother, whatever Dad says. She can’t even speak English properly.
I held up the mobile so she could see it, and made a slit-throat sign. She disappeared from the window and I felt quite pleased with myself.
And then suddenly the boy was standing right beside me. He had bad clothes. He was just staring, and his hair was really short. He looked kind of stupid and common.
I just asked him what he was staring at. I was surprised when he spoke, because he sounded like an old-fashioned person.
“You live in that house?” he said.
“Yeah. So?” I said.
“I used to live there”, he said. I wasn’t sure I believed him, but he did sound sort of sad.
He asked if he could see it again. I would have said no, because he was obviously poor, but then I thought of that cow Consuela waving at the window, and it suddenly seemed like a good idea.
“Well, it’s OK by me” I said, in my cool voice, “but there’s a witch who lives there and she’ll probably murder you”.
The boy pulled a face, but I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. “I suppose that’s her?” he said, pointing down into the valley.
It was. The cow was struggling up the hill. Those disgusting boobies of hers are so big that she could hardly do it. Every few steps, she had to flick her naff bleached hair off her face like she does. She has great big pores on her fat nose, and I hate her.
“Come on, boy”, I ordered him, and we ran off down the slope, kind of towards the house but more to the left, so the witch wouldn’t meet us. She was easy to dodge, as it turned out. We went along the side of the house where the big hedge is, and I ducked through the hole that Dad doesn’t know about. We hid behind the sauna-hut-thing, so we were only a little way from the house, but we were completely invisible.
He held out his hand and I ignored it. “I’m Joe”, he said, and I shushed him with the angriest look I could manage. He just shrugged and crouched there after that.
Consuela came back and walked right round the house, shouting. The stupid cow had no idea I was near enough to smell her tarty perfume.
Then I saw that the patio doors were open. If the boy wanted to get in, then I could see how to do it. “Follow me when I run”, I whispered. “Straight up the stairs when we’re inside. I’ll hide you in the playroom and get rid of her”.
The cow was round the front of the house now. She was still squealing so it was easy to tell where she was. “Now!” I told him.
We dashed across the sundeck and in through the open door, then through the big glass ones inside. He was slow, because he was trying to look around like an idiot, so I was well in front when I ran into the hall, and straight into trouble.
Ronnie and Reggie were there, both of them, lying on the round carpet-thing. Consuela must have been about to take them on their walk to the village, like she’s always doing. They glared at me, just baring their teeth and making that killer-noise in the back of their throats.
I thought he was going to die. Those dogs are really mean with anyone they don’t know, and they’re trained to protect the house. They leave me alone, but I can’t stop them if they go for someone. Only Dad can do that.
The boy ran in, and they just looked at him. They didn’t leap at him. They didn’t even get up.
I’d stopped running, of course. I was just standing there, first expecting the worst, and now stunned. If the dogs weren’t going to do anything, though, maybe we could go upstairs after all. I wasn’t thinking really, but that’s what I did anyway. I’d got to the landing when I heard Ronnie growling.
The boy was at the foot of the stairs. It seemed he was OK enough with the dogs to be in the house, but not to be going up there. He hesitated for a moment, and then did something I could not believe. He walked back to the dogs, knelt down in front of them and hugged them.
It was just then that Consuela came into the hall through the kitchen door. She saw the boy with the dogs, and she looked really strange. She wasn’t angry or surprised; she just looked kind of sad and determined. She pushed past me and on up the stairs, without saying anything. She was nearly running as she went into the big bedroom.
I looked at the boy, who was still with the dogs. “You were dead lucky”, I said. “If they hadn’t have liked you, they’d have killed you”.
He shrugged. “My Dad keeps the pub”, he said, as if that made any sense.
“Did you really used to live here?” I asked.
“No, sorry”, he said. “Not yet”.
Consuela came downstairs, with a big suitcase and a sports bag. She looked even more determined now, but she’d been crying because her face was all smudged. She put the things down and hugged the dogs too. She scowled at the boy and told him to go home.
“In the car?” he asked.
“No!” she said, nearly shouting. She seemed really angry. He smiled and nodded at me, and ran out through the lounge, back the way we came in.
“I called your father”, Consuela told me. “He’s coming home. You stay here till he comes”. Then she went out the front door with the luggage. I heard the engine of her Impreza and saw a flash of blue past the porch windows.
So now I’m sitting here. I still don’t understand it. But something tells me she’s gone for good. It can’t be all bad, then.
But I can’t work this one out. I’m bored, just sitting here and waiting for Dad to come home. Me and the dogs. Maybe I’ll understand if I go over it one more time.
It all started out on the hill. It’s a jungle now, but it didn’t used to be. I was up there on the crest, looking down onto this house nestling in its little valley. My house. It was a farmhouse once, but my Dad is a Human Resources Executive, and that’s a better job than farming.
I can still remember climbing the hill for the first time, even though it was such a long time ago. It was a little bit after some Christmas while I was still a kid. The big fence at the back of the house wasn’t there then, and you could just walk out onto the slope, where it had been ploughed over. There were ridges in the ground, and it was all black and frozen. It was rubbish really, because you couldn’t play on it or anything.
But it’s all changed now. Dad said he’s made sure that nobody’s going to build houses here for years, so I can play on the hill while I grow up.
I wasn’t expecting it to look like it did when I came home for summer. The grass is taller than I am. You can make trails, and stalk things like a hunter. It was great for the first few days, but the trouble is there are no kids here. Only those boring girls who think they’re grown up. Them and babies.
You get lonely hunting on your own. I nearly said I’d go to the tennis club with Consuela this morning; that’s how bored I was. But instead I went up the hill, and for once something interesting happened.
I was making a path to the tree on the hilltop. Last summer, I couldn’t climb that tree, but the big girls could, and they kept taunting me about it, and saying the view up there was amazing. I thought maybe I could climb it now I’m bigger, so that was where I was going when I heard him.
I knew it was a little kid, even though I couldn’t see him in all that grass. He wasn’t speaking or singing or anything, but he made plenty of noise anyway, panting and thrashing about. I stopped dead still and listened and watched. I was feeling kind of excited, and I was just making a plan to surprise this kid, when can you believe what happened? My stupid mobile started ringing.
I switched it off as quick as I could, but now he knew I was there. He still didn’t talk, though. He started making funny yelping noises and thrashing about in the grass even harder. I wasn’t scared, because I knew he was just a stupid little boy.
I looked down at the house, and I could see that stupid woman at the big bedroom window. She could see me, and I guess she could see him too, because she was waving her arms around. I hate her. She’s not my mother, whatever Dad says. She can’t even speak English properly.
I held up the mobile so she could see it, and made a slit-throat sign. She disappeared from the window and I felt quite pleased with myself.
And then suddenly the boy was standing right beside me. He had bad clothes. He was just staring, and his hair was really short. He looked kind of stupid and common.
I just asked him what he was staring at. I was surprised when he spoke, because he sounded like an old-fashioned person.
“You live in that house?” he said.
“Yeah. So?” I said.
“I used to live there”, he said. I wasn’t sure I believed him, but he did sound sort of sad.
He asked if he could see it again. I would have said no, because he was obviously poor, but then I thought of that cow Consuela waving at the window, and it suddenly seemed like a good idea.
“Well, it’s OK by me” I said, in my cool voice, “but there’s a witch who lives there and she’ll probably murder you”.
The boy pulled a face, but I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. “I suppose that’s her?” he said, pointing down into the valley.
It was. The cow was struggling up the hill. Those disgusting boobies of hers are so big that she could hardly do it. Every few steps, she had to flick her naff bleached hair off her face like she does. She has great big pores on her fat nose, and I hate her.
“Come on, boy”, I ordered him, and we ran off down the slope, kind of towards the house but more to the left, so the witch wouldn’t meet us. She was easy to dodge, as it turned out. We went along the side of the house where the big hedge is, and I ducked through the hole that Dad doesn’t know about. We hid behind the sauna-hut-thing, so we were only a little way from the house, but we were completely invisible.
He held out his hand and I ignored it. “I’m Joe”, he said, and I shushed him with the angriest look I could manage. He just shrugged and crouched there after that.
Consuela came back and walked right round the house, shouting. The stupid cow had no idea I was near enough to smell her tarty perfume.
Then I saw that the patio doors were open. If the boy wanted to get in, then I could see how to do it. “Follow me when I run”, I whispered. “Straight up the stairs when we’re inside. I’ll hide you in the playroom and get rid of her”.
The cow was round the front of the house now. She was still squealing so it was easy to tell where she was. “Now!” I told him.
We dashed across the sundeck and in through the open door, then through the big glass ones inside. He was slow, because he was trying to look around like an idiot, so I was well in front when I ran into the hall, and straight into trouble.
Ronnie and Reggie were there, both of them, lying on the round carpet-thing. Consuela must have been about to take them on their walk to the village, like she’s always doing. They glared at me, just baring their teeth and making that killer-noise in the back of their throats.
I thought he was going to die. Those dogs are really mean with anyone they don’t know, and they’re trained to protect the house. They leave me alone, but I can’t stop them if they go for someone. Only Dad can do that.
The boy ran in, and they just looked at him. They didn’t leap at him. They didn’t even get up.
I’d stopped running, of course. I was just standing there, first expecting the worst, and now stunned. If the dogs weren’t going to do anything, though, maybe we could go upstairs after all. I wasn’t thinking really, but that’s what I did anyway. I’d got to the landing when I heard Ronnie growling.
The boy was at the foot of the stairs. It seemed he was OK enough with the dogs to be in the house, but not to be going up there. He hesitated for a moment, and then did something I could not believe. He walked back to the dogs, knelt down in front of them and hugged them.
It was just then that Consuela came into the hall through the kitchen door. She saw the boy with the dogs, and she looked really strange. She wasn’t angry or surprised; she just looked kind of sad and determined. She pushed past me and on up the stairs, without saying anything. She was nearly running as she went into the big bedroom.
I looked at the boy, who was still with the dogs. “You were dead lucky”, I said. “If they hadn’t have liked you, they’d have killed you”.
He shrugged. “My Dad keeps the pub”, he said, as if that made any sense.
“Did you really used to live here?” I asked.
“No, sorry”, he said. “Not yet”.
Consuela came downstairs, with a big suitcase and a sports bag. She looked even more determined now, but she’d been crying because her face was all smudged. She put the things down and hugged the dogs too. She scowled at the boy and told him to go home.
“In the car?” he asked.
“No!” she said, nearly shouting. She seemed really angry. He smiled and nodded at me, and ran out through the lounge, back the way we came in.
“I called your father”, Consuela told me. “He’s coming home. You stay here till he comes”. Then she went out the front door with the luggage. I heard the engine of her Impreza and saw a flash of blue past the porch windows.
So now I’m sitting here. I still don’t understand it. But something tells me she’s gone for good. It can’t be all bad, then.
