h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Interesting, the most successful killing machine ever invented by man, relies on a complex sequence and the by products of a violent chemical reaction, the CAR!

Same goes for vodka and cigarettes

The basis behind the currently popular fear of fireams, seems to be that someone MIGHT kill other people if they have a gun. This obviously stems from a thoroughly sensible concern for public safety. This being the case, might I suggest we lobby for a Private Members Bill to ban gravity? After all, not only is there the inherent danger of gravity running amok in a public place if , say, somebody fell off a tall building, but there is also the fact that gravity is slowly and insidiously killing each and every one of us EVERY SINGLE DAY OF OUR LIVES!
I would also like to to point out that people have been killing people quite successfully for tens of thousands of years with nothing more technically advanced than a pointed stick, or a rock.

Suicide has nothing to with it, when was the last time some nutter foeced a group of people to drink and smoke themselves to death with a packet of Woodbines?

ER, will you please point out where the word "suicide" appears in the above?

Many thanks for the favour, by the way.

And I still vote we ban gravity.

Think of the savings on airline tickets alone!
And as for the ISS, we could just post it, although the cost of the stamps alone is mind boggling!

Yo Dude!
Suicide, as reference to Vodka and Cigarettes, when was the last time a loony atacked and killed with the above? Sure you can use a gun to kill yourself, but so much nicer with Nicotine Addiction and Vodka.
So I compute that the above are more suited to suicide rather than mass murder.

Um! Thinking of getting a CO2 pistol, not any good for suicide unless you swallowed it, but looks like fun for plinking. Not sure how much the bottles cost for the one I'm thinking of. Saw them advertised at 30 quid for 5, which works out at 7pee a shot! Jeez, .38 Special didn't cost that much! I see laser target designators for pistol use are now rather cheap. Also going to get my Airsporter serviced, it works OK, but makes a lot of noise. Think somethings loose. Have you seen the price of a decent air rifle these days? Madre de Dios!

STOP!
I have resarched this one quite well recently. Before this or any other 'Gubbermint' ban the use of Air Sporting Goods. (It is on the cards.) Remember the legal limit of 6 foot pounds for pistols and 12 for rifles. There are only a few pistols that come even close, I can probably name 3 that are up to the legal limit. Having used some that are virtual copies of the real thing (Not that it matters of course!) I was impressed bu the ability to squeeze off 11 shots as quickly as I could pull the trigger, but trajectory and range were very limited due to paltry 3ft/lbs power. There are even less affordable air rifles that match the criteria, otherwise you are looking at over £300. Pre loaded thingies cost abot £0.80 each, and may give you up to 50 shots in some cases. If using Crosman stuff I would seriously suggest buying original Crosman powerlets as these contain special lubricant, be a good idea to use one for every unbranded one to keep the seals in good condition. The American stuff from, Crosman, Benjamin and others looks excellent value, but check build quality before buying, as it can be variable.
IMPORTANT!!!!! Even though NOT required by LAW or POLICE most dealers insist on your name and address, why? If the Labour Party get their way on this one, expect a knock on your door as soon as legislation is passed, big brother is here!
I always pay cash, and give false ID.
Just purcahesed the Crosman Carbine with shoulder stock and Effing Big Laser on top, terrific fun, gives a cute 8ft/lbs, so no good for stocking the freezer, but you should see that cardboard bite the dust.
The Crosman Laser is a whopping 5mW and about the size or smaller than your thumb including batteries, gives continous 2.5 hors life on a set of FM28 Maplin batteries.

Just thought, that lovely S&W that I had to hand in after Dunblaine tragedy, was a rather shocking 1000 ft/lbs with cartain loads, trouble is the cardboard did not last so long, dear me, dear me.

http://www.calthorpe-clinic.co.uk/pen.html

Cannot be bothered. I was forced to grow up into a strict Catholic Society. I never knew so many twisted hypocrites in my entire life.
Death is too good for them. Come to think of it, all the so called self confessed "Christians" I know are pompous cowardly non truth speakers, except when it suits them. WHOOPS!

I sure enjoyed shooting the shit out of those nasty cardboard, targets though. The plus point was, the clubs best shots were FEMALE, several were at International Standard. And they all looked a Million Dollars as well. (Gorgeous Butts!)
Come to think of it, our best Range Officer was a luverly female shooter. Things she could do with a S&W Model 29 with a 6" Barrel!
But the BEST bit was, IT TURNED MY GIRLFRIEND INTO A FRENZIED SEX FIEND! No need for Penis Envy Here I'm afraid. Sorry to shoot down this Boring Urban MYTH! Try something original, A magnifying glass perhaps? THe Tweezers would of corse be an extra.

OK it was a cheap shot, but someone had to take it.
I was rather anti guns, but the vision you paint of lithe wenches who really know what to do with a powerful killing machine has rather changed my mind. Where do I sign up?

Hallo W.F. please Calm Down. The one wench does not drive, the other is quite happy with her Metro. So much for the killing machines.
If you do wish to sign up, contact the National Rifle Association (NRA), and they will put you in touch with the club nearest to you.
We still use Carbines from .44 Magnum, down to poxy .22 cal.
Pistols are either Pyrodex or Black Powder. Rifles can be from .5 Anti Tank all the way down to poxy .22, not forgetting the Awesome Weatherby Magnum Shoulder Dislocators!

Share and Enjoy!

Nah, on second thoughts I think I'll stick with the tweezers

I just don't understand it really. Maybe I'm missing a chromosome or something. I just see guns as nasty things people use to kill other people.
I smoke, so I know some people see me lighting up and think of me killing them, but cigarettes are not designed to kill other people or even me. I mean that would be a pretty bad idea designing something to shrink the marketplace and thus kill the demand.
OK so you enjoy guns. Fair enough. But if someone breaks into your house while you're not there and steals your guns then there's someone out on the street who probably has more on his mind than hanging around ranges staring at girls' arses. Whereas the most they'd get off me is my computer or video recorder or something equally unharmful. Unless they stole my cigarettes of course

Aha! I no longer possess firearms, got fed up with the hassle from the "Gubbermint" and the police. So very reluctantly have given up a hobby I have enjoyed for about 15 years. I still on the odd occasion will visit the Gun Club, but it is not the same using other peoples toys, so think I'll cut that out shortly.
The question of theft of guns when I owned them, at least in my case did not apply, as all were dimantled and stored in different safes. Also the ammunition was again locked in a VERY expensive safe. Then there was the Alarm system with contact to a relevant security firm via Radio Link.
What you must consider is the following. Recorded crime with guns is increasing, and firearms are flooding in from Eastern Europe.
You are probably less safe from becoming a gun statistic, then a few years ago. Notice how little less fuss the mass media AND the politicians now make when a shooting is reported.
I accept your views and respect them. All I ever murdered were those nasty bits of cardboard.
Any way, have gone full circle now, back to Archery and a little air pistol. Those bits of cardboard have not got a chance!

Fine. I was going to protest for cardboard rights, but I firmly believe that all packaging materials must die.

WF, if you are ever in Gloucester, go to the old docks. There you will find the perfect target. I refer, of course, to the Gloucester National Pckaging Museum. I kid you not! An old warehouse is filled with some jokers display of old cardboard boxes, and Colemans Mustard Tins Down The Ages.
I suggest softening the place up with a couple of bursts from a 20mm Gatling Cannon, then a couple of LAWS rockets, followed by liberal use of Napalm. Enjoy!
Prof, maybe I'll stick to my soft air pistols.

Do you know of any plastic food packaging factories? That's the stuff that bugs me. Why do people pack sandwiches in vacuum seals that are impossible to open when they know most people who buy them will be eating them out of doors where the usual supply of breadknives, electric drills and circular saws aren't so easy to find?
BTW as I'm moving to Yorkshire next week, I'd better not say I know anyone from Gloucester after the hiding they gave Yorkshire in the cricket twice .