A Conversation for The Traveller [fiction]

very visual.

Post 1

ex-Rambling. Thingite. Dog. Pythonist. Deceased.

well ploted. good feel for irony (started out on one unwanted journey, wound up taking a different one, just as unwanted.) good use of adjectives and story elements to appeal to reader's senses, you could taste the coffee, ect.
used some of the same words twice in the same sentence (cold, cold when refering to coffee. try: icy,cold) kind of distracted me, but then, I'm easily destracted.smiley - biggrin might want to back off a little on the adjectives. not much, though, you use them so well.
enjoyed reading this story. where'd you get the idea? almost sounds like you've been there. not written from a hospital bed, or anything?
(I Love totally inappropriate humor) smiley - smiley.


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