h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

If I were to truly enter into the spirit of this conversation then I could recommend two prestigious and expensive restaurants in my home town of Nottingham: La Toque and Harts. But I can't. I find the idea of spending close to a hundred quid on an insufficient amount of food for a night out increasingly jars with my sense of fair play and concern for other human beings, many of whom are hungry for other reasons than that they've just polished off the three peas that made up a nouvelle-cuisine dish. It's just so much conspicuous consumption, the last vestige of the Armani-suited, champagne-swilling 80's.

Before you brand me a hair-shirted killjoy, I'd like to offer you my alternative vision: democratised quality. Let's teach kids a respect for good food and make them confident in the kitchen, so when they grow up they don't have to put up with second best just because they can't afford to spend stupid amounts of money on restaurant food. And when they *do* eat out, then let's recommend some unpretentious hostelreies that don't charge the earth but still allow you to leave without wanting a bag of chips. Such as the Victoria Hotel in my home town of Beeston. Good, traditional British food and beer, with not a noisette in sight.

Agreed. Bloody silly tiny portions. I have seen Bruce growl at waiters "Excuse me sir, but you appear to have swapped my dinner for that of an anorexic dwarf. Kindly fetch me my food and return this to him".

They really don't like that.

They get really stingy on the veg as well. There's no excuse for not serving enough veg, it's so bloody cheap. What's more the price they charge for wine - the 'corkage' - is ludicrous.

I agree, I have trouble enjoying a meal when the "selling point" is the price and surroundings. But then I had to look up the word "noisette", so you can tell where I'm coming from ... My favorite spot is a barbeque joint here in Houston with spicy BBQ pork sandwiches, jalapeno corn bread, Cajun style beans, Shiner Bock beer ... all for under $10.

And no, "barbeque" does not mean "grilled meat", I've had trouble in the past "translating the word into, say, Canadian. My hotshot computer dictionary from Microsoft doesn't even define the word ...

I get really puzzled by places that are stingy on veg, make you pay for bread rolls, or charge for water. These things really annoy people and can't actually make them much money.