h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Great column. Wonder what other interesting occupations you can unearth!

well... what do you do?

I'm very boring, I'm a junior copywriter.

that doesn't sound boring at all.

I basically write corporate answerphone messages

You know when someone puts you on hold and you get irritating music and "Hello and tanks for calling blahdiblah, we offer xyz and are really looking forward to talking to you..."

I write that stuff.

but you write something that everyone listens to at some point (and it is better than what people get when they call my work "plis hold ze line... bitte warten... plis hold ze line...")

In fact it sounds pretty darned creative - within a set of paramaters (i guess length, corporate identity etc etc have to be taken into consideration?)

Well sometimes you get a free reign. I did a cracking message for a coathanger company once...

Might have it around somewhere, let me check my portfolio.

I'm quite fascinated by your job then - it doesn't sound at all boring and ordinary. In fact... I want it!

Well it's a junior wage, so it's not all sunshine and rainbows!

Can't find my portfolio - that's quite worrying...

ok, I'll keep my "senior" wage but do your job... want to swap? (a clue, your answer should contain the words "my" "body" "dead" and "over" only not in that order)

My over-dead body?

A dead body's bad, but an over-dead one? That'd whiff a bit...