The Excuse
Created | Updated Dec 2, 2004
This excuse was submitted with an essay expounding upon where Socrates discovers Justice in Plato's The Republic:
“Ah!” I exclaimed, “but I have an excuse!”
“Hmmm? Go on then, why was the essay late, Dean?” Mused the tutor.
“First, you must know that this is no ordinary excuse. No other excuse you have heard before or will hear again will compare to this. The dog ate it won’t even raise an eyebrow after today. The student, who was admitted to hospital after being assaulted by a small Rhinoceros, will hold the excuse throne no more.
“Yes, like all excuses, mine is a tragedy – but no ordinary tragedy. Mine is a tragedy of epic proportions! This tragedy will reach deep within the hearts and souls of all humankind. For this is a tragedy involving love, despair, anguish and of course, time-management. For yea, I have fallen in love and indeed, am in love as I stand before you today. No tragedy there, you might say, for love is a wonderful thing – but alas, you are wrong. Love has been wonderful, that I do not deny. But like a god, love have giveth, and love hath taken away! For the object of such divine an emotion, two weeks (ish) hither, decided to end our love, she did, in short, as she has done before and dumped me.
“Now you might say, a shame indeed, but still a tragedy many endure and this essay was not about my heart, but where Socrates finds justice within his state. I hear these words, and I weep. For these are the words of pain to me, for I know their truth. Yet I say in return, that though I might take a horse to water, it may not drink. Similarly, though I might lead my mind to Plato, it may not think! I command my mind to parse Plato’s argument, and I find myself reading words, yet wondering, where is my love now. Socrates speaks of mental education, and I think of her major! Socrates speaks of physical education, and my mind entertains sin! I think that Socrates contains an e; as does her name. That he wears a toga; that she left me in October.
“And so do you see my tragedy, for I live in anguish, never to see her face, but to see her in everything I do. So this is my excuse; that I am in love, and long may I suffer the consequences. So, long may inefficiency plague my brain, making all efforts to bend its power toward all else but her, be in vain.”
The tutor nodded, “Ok, thanks.”
“Any time, see you next week.”
“Ah!” I exclaimed, “but I have an excuse!”
“Hmmm? Go on then, why was the essay late, Dean?” Mused the tutor.
“First, you must know that this is no ordinary excuse. No other excuse you have heard before or will hear again will compare to this. The dog ate it won’t even raise an eyebrow after today. The student, who was admitted to hospital after being assaulted by a small Rhinoceros, will hold the excuse throne no more.
“Yes, like all excuses, mine is a tragedy – but no ordinary tragedy. Mine is a tragedy of epic proportions! This tragedy will reach deep within the hearts and souls of all humankind. For this is a tragedy involving love, despair, anguish and of course, time-management. For yea, I have fallen in love and indeed, am in love as I stand before you today. No tragedy there, you might say, for love is a wonderful thing – but alas, you are wrong. Love has been wonderful, that I do not deny. But like a god, love have giveth, and love hath taken away! For the object of such divine an emotion, two weeks (ish) hither, decided to end our love, she did, in short, as she has done before and dumped me.
“Now you might say, a shame indeed, but still a tragedy many endure and this essay was not about my heart, but where Socrates finds justice within his state. I hear these words, and I weep. For these are the words of pain to me, for I know their truth. Yet I say in return, that though I might take a horse to water, it may not drink. Similarly, though I might lead my mind to Plato, it may not think! I command my mind to parse Plato’s argument, and I find myself reading words, yet wondering, where is my love now. Socrates speaks of mental education, and I think of her major! Socrates speaks of physical education, and my mind entertains sin! I think that Socrates contains an e; as does her name. That he wears a toga; that she left me in October.
“And so do you see my tragedy, for I live in anguish, never to see her face, but to see her in everything I do. So this is my excuse; that I am in love, and long may I suffer the consequences. So, long may inefficiency plague my brain, making all efforts to bend its power toward all else but her, be in vain.”
The tutor nodded, “Ok, thanks.”
“Any time, see you next week.”
