h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

you mean like putting peanut butter and jam between 2 slices of bread and saying 'yum'?

I thought they called Jam "Jelly", and chips "French Fries" and crisps "chips"....
What's the American for "Dead Body"????

i don't know.
i was born in surrey.

Imagine keeping Elvis' body in your house.
That would be horrible.
You could perhaps use it as a bouncy castle.
Or for storing lupins.
Or, for doing Elvis impressions.

Americanese uses both "jam" and "jelly" when discussing preserves, "jam" generally intended to convey a denser, more opaque product, often containing chunks of whole fruit, whereas "jelly",as a rule, means a clarified, more uniform product. The distinction between the two being clarity and texture, not flavour.

Your take on chips and French Fries is perfectly correct.

Americanese for "dead body" (principally in the legalistic sense) is either "the deceased" or "the decedent". In more conversational, though still formal terms, "remains" or "remains of (name)" are also common usages. The increasingly popular practice of cremating dead relatives has given rise to a handy portmanteau word to describe the end result: "cremains" - a useful, if not altogether satisfying term. In the most generic sense, usually referring to an unspecified individual, the term is "cadaver". I intend to write an article treating cadavers soon, so keep your eyes open for it.

ahem...
parrot scetch anybody?
anyone's favourites?
mine has to be 'it it was not nailed to this perch it would bwe pushing up the daisies!'

So it is proven that dead bodies can make you money if you hire them out to Show Business!! Forget museums, bring on the TV and Movies! I mean, "Weekend At Bernies" was a film about a corpse. "Trail of the Pink Panther" starred Peter Seller's two year old corpse. Woody Allen's been a corpse for years. So why not follow Monty Python's lead and star corpses in films? You won't have to pay them high wages, and they won't break any contracts.

Basically it's an extra lane on some highways that you get to drive in if you have a certain number of people in your car (where I live you only need three.) Sort of like the express lane at a supremarket.

Oh right... Thanks!

I forget...were you the one I talked to about reviving this thread? Because we'll have to do a better job than this.

Yes, I know. We'll have to get some more exciting stuff to talk about, bring in some Halloween-type atmosphere now that some people are in the Spooky mood... Trouble is, my Halloween was quite romantic and I haven't seen a dead body for ages... Still, if we can convince people like Cakewalker or Mensa**e to come here, loads of people will probably follow.

Should we start posting in other forums telling people to come here?

My Halloween was a bit of a flop. Planned to go to a party--didn't quite happen. Got all dressed up for nothing. Blah.

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. No dead bodies involved then??? You know, Random DNA who wrote most on this forum hasn't been here for 20 weeks - I checked. But yep, I think we should advertise in different forums, see if we can get some new blood in!

Well, there would've been some dead bodies if we could've gotten our hands on the people who were responsible for our not getting in....

I know the feeling So tell me, how would you make fun and profit out of a dead body?

Teach it to do the washing up or, failing that, film a hoax making out it can yodel.

I always thought that those who yodelled were pretty much dead anyway. Standing by a mountain and calling out weird words isn't the most exciting past-time, but then I guess I shouldn't criticise as I don't know anything about it.

Well, for fun there are all kinds of pranks one can pull, and as for profit...nobody ever really asks what goes into dog food, do they? Or cafeteria/dorm food, either.

Granted, I wouldn't go all the way to the mountains just to yell out weird words, but the yelling itself, if you ask me, is a lot of fun. But then I love to get reactions.

Or sausages.... Did you know that during WWII when Germany was losing the war, to save money they cut down some pine trees, pulped them, and sold them as sausages - and no-one noticed? But I guess it isn't that different from soya. Reminds me of "A Close Shave".