h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Thank you for your detailed summation of mango consumption. I agree that mango-eating is the most intense and flavorful experience you are likely to share with a vegetable object. They must be delicious in India.
There are two kinds of mangos available here. One is the Puerto Rican mango, which is small and yellow and the size of an 8-year-old's fist, and the other is the Haitian mango, which is big and reddish-greenish and the size of the 8-year-old's 2 fists.
I usually get the Haitian mango, which is more succulent and has a thinner skin. Then I stand it on the stem end and cut down on each of the flat sides of the pit, so that I get two slices with as much meat as possible and the pit is surrounded with a collar of mango. Then I trim that part down, cut the two big slices into smaller portions, and serve.
When I lived in Lome, Togo, I used to eat the smaller PR-style mangos with my girlfriend. We would fill a small bucket with water, place it on the floor between us, and rinse off the mangos in the water, then peel off the skin with our teeth, all the while looking each other deeply in the eyes. It was always a very intimate experience (somewhere around L1.3 on the Gaurav scale).
You can also make pies with green (unripe) mangos--they taste like apples a little.