Bertie and the Beast

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A green and scary monster

Once again we are beholden to the current executors of the Knolly estate for letting us publish this, the second package of the great man's journals and memoirs.

The Plan's the Thing! Part 6

I didn't have too much difficulty finding a cab to take me home. I was just ahead of the normal evening rush and so there were plenty about. Oh yes, I could have journeyed home by train, but there was the walk at the other end, plus I felt I'd be spending more than enough of my time on board trains in the near future that it wouldn't hurt to give it a miss this time.

The ride home, suffice to say was somewhat less speedy than my earlier one in to town, a lot quieter too. It was a little after six thirty when we pulled up outside the house, goodness what a long day it had been with another to follow what with our trip to Marlborough and Hoot Hall.

I heard the front door open as I paid and tipped the cab driver.

'Knolly!' Called Elspeth. 'Can you ask the driver if he can come by tomorrow at 7 o’clock to take us to Waterloo Station for the 8:30 train to Marlborough?'

The cab driver nodded.

'I think you’ve already asked him dear.' I reached into my pocket to increase the fellows tip.

I’ll see you tomorrow then sir.' Smirked the driver.

Indeed you will, good evening to you.'

Elspeth came and took my arm as the cab trotted back in the direction of London.

'I see you have a hole in your coat sleeve.' She wiggled her fingers through it. 'Millie will be cross she’s just put away the sewing box.'

'You’ve been in touch with Auntie then?'

'I took the liberty of stopping off at the telegraph office before catching the train home and told her to expect us around lunchtime.'

'Ah, that would explain tomorrows early start then.'

Well it’s not as if I can lie in comfortably these days and if I’m up then you might as well be too.'

I made a face and Elspeth kissed me on the cheek. 'Don’t be like that, come, Cook’s ready to dish up and you can tell me what happened after you left us.'

The meal as usual was sumptuous but then I was quite ravenous, which was hardly surprising considering how little I had eaten since breakfast. Over dinner we chatted about what had occurred since we went our separate ways at the Admiralty. I left nothing out of my tale and she was intrigued by the tale of the kerbside ragamuffin but even more so by the fact that we would be taking a machine gun with us. I always thought Bertie was bad enough with such things, until Elspeth and I got to know each other better. I also pointed out that we had better not let on that Auntie's anti-smoking advice to Biggfat had not been heeded.

For her part Elspeth told me that the rest of the journey to Merrick's had been swift but uneventful. Merrick for his part it seems was less than impressed with the fact that his feline protégé had taken so well to the idea of shopping and wearing clothes. Elspeth had chided him and asked if he would rather Charlotte continued to parade around his house with no clothes on at all, for which apparently he had no answer. She left giving him strict instructions as to begin treating her more as a person than a kitten and we would be leaving for Scotland in two or three days time and would therefore expect Charlotte to be ready to leave at a moments notice.

I must admit I felt rather sorry for John, but would have like to have been a fly on the wall during such a one side conversation. Elspeth in full flow was a joy to behold Merrick had let on (once he’d got a word in, one assumes) that he had written to Sir Arthur with regards making contact with Sir John Murray, the marine scientist and composing a letter of introduction.

I must admit I find a good meal very relaxing especially after such a hectic day. So full of food and happy the way things were moving along I settled down in my favourite chair and proceed to go through the days’ newspaper. It contained the usual bumph about the war in South Africa, a jolly cartoon about Kitchener but there were also a lot of pages taken up with the forthcoming expedition to the South Pole.

Elspeth leaned over the chair back to see what had caught my interest.

'I see Bob Falcon Scott has made the news again then, such a handsome fellow.'

'Hmm… He looks like he has picked a good team to go with him, look his ship is due to be launched next month. Might be worth a visit. Personally I think he’s getting a bit old for it, wouldn’t catch me going somewhere that cold not these days.'

'I’m sure you’d go had you been offered the chance dear. You and Bertie always gabble on about Cape Sabine and rescuing Greely. Oh, who is that young fellow?' she pointed at another photograph on the page.

'Ah, that my dear is Ernest Shackleton a fine chap, but frowned upon by some, Wavy Navy not Royal and you know how that upsets certain people.'

'He’s got nice eyes.'

'Really?' I peered hard at the printed page looking for some clue, 'How can you tell from this?'

'Well they aren’t too close together and he looks thoughtful.'

'Oh ….'

There was a polite cough and Elspeth looked up.

'Please mum, there’s someone at the door to see the master.'

Elspeth started to sniff 'Millie what is that …'

Someone Millie? Man or woman?' I interrupted Elspeth’s question and got a deserved raised eyebrow that I pretended not to see.

Difficult to say sir, that is to say I can’t rightly tell. All covered in rags and the smell is horrid.'

I leapt to my feet scattering the sheets of newspaper before me. 'Good Lord! My fragrant friend has followed me here from the Admiralty. Come Elspeth you must meet them.'

'Knolly must I, really? The smell.' She sniffed.

'Don’t be silly there were worse in Africa. Where have you put our guest Millie?'

'Oh, I didn’t let them in sir. They are on the doorstep still….I did close the door.'

Elspeth made a gagging sound. 'So that smell is creeping through the house on its own? Millie, quickly some cloths to cover our faces.'

With Elspeth making such a fuss and Millie already rushing about, I fetched my own coat and went to meet my shadow on the front step.

'Evening Commander, I’ll bet you didn’t expect to see me again, did you?'

The voice made me jump somewhat, I had expected the creature to be waiting by the door, but obviously the light there was rather bright and so they waited to one side. The invasive pong did not seem so bad, but perhaps I was just getting used to it.

'No.' I replied. 'I must admit when I went into the office I had my doubts and then when you weren’t there later I ….'

'Oh, I was there all right, watching the watcher just like you asked me to.'

'The watcher? So I was being followed after all?' This somewhat astounded me.

'Indeed sir, but they didn’t follow you home' I last saw them heading towards Charing Cross, an’ you gave me a bit of fun getting a cab so quickly. I had to change vehicles about 3 or 4 times to keep up with you.'

'Good, good. So tell me, the person watching me, they didn’t look German at all did they?'

'Not by my reckoning no. The chap had a swagger about him like a toff, but his clothes looked foreign. Kept his face well hidden too, with a wide brimmed hat.'

It wasn’t an image that seemed familiar but then I remembered yesterdays conversation at Merrick's. 'Hmm, do you think he could have been an American then?'

'Couldn’t say without hearing him speak Captain, but it’s possible I s'pose. There’s a lot of ‘em about in town these days.'

'Well that’s useful information, thank you very much, and as for payment…'

The figure waved a gloved hand in which was a chicken bone, 'Don’t you worry about that, I’ve had a good feed this evening, better than money will buy. A drop of port wine or beer would go down well though sir.

I was somewhat taken aback by this '…are you sure Mr…Miss..er ….Mrs …..Look, I’m not sure what you are under there, or what to call you?'

They laughed at this as though I’d made the joke of the year, and the sound they made went from high girlish titter to a deep bass boom. 'I go by many names, some call me Nanny, others Uncle, master of disguise I am, or mistress, you’ll never know.'

'Yes indeed, as a master of such arts myself. Your current guise of mouldering dung heap is astounding; it must be the additional food scraps.'

'Why, thankee kindly Commander. It takes a lot to carry this one off.'

'A name, though before you go. I may have need of your services in the future or indeed of any like minded street dwellers.'

The heap nodded. 'I think we can come to some arrangement. I’ll keep a look out for the “American” and as for a name, if you need me ask the street folk for …hmmm.'

The figure stopped and muttered to his/her/itself as though searching through a mental list and drummed its fingers in the vicinity of his/her/its mouth.

'Baddick…. Yes ask, for you Commander just put the word about, for Baddick.'

I closed my eyes drew in a deep breath and then wished I hadn’t. 'Well I don’t think I’ll have any problems with that name and now that drink you asked for. You’ll be quite happy out here… Baddick …yes?'

Baddick seemed to shrink, and then I realised that they had sat down. 'Right then. Thank you for the information, I’ll no doubt be in touch. Good night to you then.'

'Aye, aye Cap’n, Goodnight, don’t you worry now.'

As I closed the door behind me Elspeth and Millie peeped out from the top of the stairs least, I think it was them as all I could see were two pairs of eyes their noses and mouths covered with my best handkerchiefs.

'Millie, be so kind as to take Baddick out there a glass of port would you?'

The pair of them started to cough, and then Millie pulled herself together and made her way down to the kitchen for a serviceable glass. One, no doubt, that could be discarded after use. Elspeth dabbing her eyes with her 'kerchief could see I was troubled by something as I made my way up the stairs.

'Something is amiss dearest, and I fear it has nothing to do with this sulphurous stench.'

I shook my head. 'I have a slight headache nothing more.'

Elspeth put her head to one side and smiled 'Really? I think I have just the cure.' And she turned for the bedroom.

I decided rightly, or wrongly, to keep the information that had just been passed on to me to myself. It did not, however, bode well for the decent nights sleep I had promised myself, nor a relaxing journey tomorrow.

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