Petite, tampered-with versions of dogs which have been
deformed to appeal to people's natural tendency to adore the
disproportionate features of infants. Poodles are yapping hair-ball
creatures, with curling hair, pointed feet and red eyes.

It is statistically proven that they are
the dogs most likely to jump into your lap while you're instructing a
family member in gun safety, causing you to discharge your gun and
die from the resulting wounds.