An Absent Scouser's View of Liverpool
Created | Updated Oct 29, 2002
Where do you start on Liverpool? I suppose I should first declare my interest and probable bias, having been born there far too many years ago to mention.
I love Liverpool. I always have and I always will. Economic factors have forced me to work away from my home town, but I return about once a month to bring myself back down to earth. Even when I was living and working over 3,000 miles away, I still picked up Liverpool news from virtual strangers, without asking. And I insisted on scraping together extortionate airfares just to get back there for a while.
I apologise in advance for any sentimentality: absent scousers wear the rosiest-tinted spectacles. But there's one thing I know to be fact: whatever further economic ills and Government plots are meted out to my home city, Liverpool will always be a great place because it's full of great people.
I also apologise for the length of this entry. I've tried to keep it short, but there's so much to say. And I've probably left plenty out, but here goes . . .
LIVERPOOL LANGUAGE
The first thing to be aware of is that Liverpool people speak very fast. If you can get them to slow down, you might be able to understand what they're saying. Here are a few Liverpool slang expressions that might help you break the ice.
"Tilly Mint" This is an endearing admonishment used for a female Scouser who has ideas above her station. The male version is 'Dicky Mint'.
"Kex" This is the word for men's "trousers". Not to be confused with the Geordie word "Kex" which means men's underpants.
"Over the water" This term is used to describe people who don't live in Liverpool proper but "over the Mersey" on the Wirral, or Birkenhead, or Ellesmere Port.
"Doin' me 'ead in" This charming little expression means that something is annoying.
"Jigger" This is the Liverpool noun for an alleyway or passageway, usually located to the side or back of a house.
"La" This word means "mate" or "friend" and was immortalised in the Beatles song "Ob-la-di Ob-la-da". It also gave the name to another great band from Liverpool called "The La's" who come from close to where I grew up.
"Skint" This word drops into conversation quite a lot in Liverpool, as it means to have no money.
"Ta" The local word for "thank you".
"Queen" A term of endearment for a female you love very much and know very well, usually from father to daughter or husband to wife. It has nothing whatsoever to do with the similar expression on the gay scene.
"Made-up" Contrary to what you might think, this term has nothing to do with cosmetics. When a scouser is "made-up" they're very pleased about something or other.
"See ya later" This does not mean "I'll see you later today" but "I'll see you sometime later in our lives", which could be anything from six hours to six years.
So, a typical Liverpool conversation would go:
"Hey Tilly Mint, pass me those new kex. Your sister from over the water is comin' up the path, and she does me 'ead in, so I'll slope off round the back jigger, and join me la's down the pub. Lend's a fiver, coz I'm skint. Ta, queen. I'm made-up now. See ya later."
LIVERPOOL FOOD
The main local dish is "Scouse" which is sometimes erroneously described as the Liverpool version of Irish Stew. Ingredients for Scouse include lamb, potatoes, carrots, onions, water and love. Perhaps it has something to do with the water in Liverpool, but there's nothing quite as heart-warming as a fresh pan of Scouse and some crusty cobs (bread).
An interesting variant on Scouse is "Blind Scouse". This is usually made the day before Pay Day, and therefore contains no meat, or it may be leftover from the previous day and all the meat has already been eaten. Either way, it's delicious.
Scouse also gives its name to the people from Liverpool: Scousers, "those who eat Scouse".
Another famous Liverpool food is the "Butty". This is another word for "sandwich" although it has to be said that a Butty made by a Liverpool mum takes some beating. Typical Liverpool Butties include: the Sugar Butty and the Conny Onny Butty (the Condensed Milk Sandwich ~ lovely).
Yet another Liverpool delicacy is the Everton Mint: a sweet black and white striped oblong piece of candy with a hard outer shell and soft chewy mint centre. The name Everton Mints comes from the fact that a large woman, known as the Toffee Lady, used to throw handfuls of these mints to the crowd at Everton's home ground during half-time. Chewy and delicious, but no good for your dental fillings.
LIVERPOOL HUMOUR
The city of Liverpool has been through such hard times, particularly over the last 20 ~ 30 years, that if we didn't have a well-developed sense of humour, we'd all give up. In fact, a sense of humour is compulsory in Liverpool.
The best exponents of scouse wit are the playwrights Alan Bleasdale and Willy Russell ~ although it has to be said that every bus driver and conductor in Liverpool is a comedian in their own right.
LIVERPOOL IN SONG
Liverpool is one of the few places in England that has had songs written about it. Lots of American towns and cities feature in songs, but not English ones, possibly because nobody can think of a word that rhymes with Bishop's Stortford.
Liverpool songs include: Ferry Cross the Mersey; Penny Lane; Strawberry Fields Forever; Maggie Mae; The Leaving of Liverpool; Liverpool Lullaby. And my personal favourite, In My Liverpool Home, here are some of the words:
I was born in Liverpool, down by the Docks.
My religion was Catholic, occupation Hard Knocks.
At stealing from lorries, I was adept.
While under old overcoats, each night we slept.
(Chorus)
In my Liverpool home, in my Liverpool home.
We speak with an accent exceedingly r-a-r-e.
Meet under a statue exceedingly b-a-r-e.*
If you want a cathedral, we’ve got one to s-p-a-r-e.
In my Liverpool home. (la-di-da)
Now when I grew up, I met Bridget McCann.
She said, "You're not much, but I'm needing a man.
Coz I want 15 kids and a house out in Speke."
The spirit was willing, but the flesh it was weak.
(Repeat chorus)
Way back in the Forties, the world it went mad.
Mr Hitler threw at us everything that he had.
When the smoke and the dust had all cleared from the air,
"Thank God", said an old man, "the Pier Head's still there."
(Repeat chorus ~ until you're all too drunk to remember the words)
*The bare statue is above the main entrance of Lewis's department store, a favourite meeting place in Liverpool.
LIVERPOOL CATHEDRALS
No, it's not a typing error, there are TWO cathedrals in Liverpool, one at each end of Hope Street (honest).
The Catholic Cathedral is the most recent and was built in the 1960s. It is circular, very modern and affectionately known as "Paddy's Wigwam".
The Anglican Cathedral is a large Gothic structure, and it used to be possible to walk through passageways in the walls at high levels which was a great day out for kids, but I think they've since stopped that. There is a legend in Liverpool that if the Anglican Cathedral is ever finished, a great disaster will befall the City. It is rumoured that they left the final stone out for this very reason.
MATTHEW STREET
Although the original Cavern is long gone from Matthew Street, the Merseybeat spirit lives on. It is still the liveliest place to be on any night in Liverpool. Just walking down Matthew Street at night you will feel happy, or drunk, or both. There are several places worthy of mention:
"Rubber Soul" is a lively bar bang in the middle of the street. They have bouncers on the door, but when you get past them you could find yourself dancing with anyone, and long before you reach the official dance floor.
'The Grapes" is a great old pub, which dates back to the Cavern days and before. A must, but you'll be lucky to get a drink at the bar ~ better order doubles or trebles, it could be a while before you get to order another one.
"Flanagans" is on three floors, I think, but I've never been in there sober so it's hard to remember. Irish-themed, of course, but probably the original one ~ and there's live bands downstairs. I think the upstairs has live music, too, but as I say, it's hard to remember.
"The Wall" can be seen during daylight (hangover) hours. It's outside the new Cavern Club, and each brick is etched with the names of bands from the Merseybeat era. It starts with the Beatles at the centre and the names of the bands get progressively unknown (or unremembered) as it gets further away ~ the Swinging Blue Jeans, The Big Three, to name but a few. Definitely worth a look ~ I suppose it's someone's attempt to apologise for tearing down the real Cavern.
HARDMAN STREET AND HOPE STREET AREA
This is an interesting neighbourhood which leads away from the main shopping areas of Church Street and Bold Street, and up towards the Art College, parts of the University and the Philharmonic Hall.
In Hardman Street itself there are several watering holes worth a look, especially one which used to be the old 1960s club called "The Sink", which was were, according to legend, the Stones did their first Liverpool gig. Not only has The Sink survived the dreaded destruction meted out to the original Cavern Club, but you can still see one of the actual wall paintings that adorned the old club walls ~ by the toilets downstairs. It's now being run by two great lads ~ one from Liverpool and one from Birmingham ~ as a bar and restaurant on the ground floor, and a club in the basement ~ called "The Magnet". It's well worth a visit by any h2g2 hitchhiker ~ good food, good ale, nice company, and a great example of 1960s club art.
At the top of Hardman Street, turn left and you will be confronted by the old Philharmonic pub (turn right if you'd prefer the Philharmonic Hall). This pub (now a wine bar, I believe) has the most amazing green marble urinals ~ which have been featured in several international architectural books.
Even further right along Hope Street, towards the Catholic Cathedral (you can't miss that: imagine a cathedral designed by aliens and you've got it) you'll find the Everyman Theatre which was home to that wonderful playwright Willy Russell.
OTHER LIVERPOOL LANDMARKS
THE MERSEY ~ No trip to Liverpool is complete without a view of the Mersey. Much less busy now than it used to be, it is still the lifeblood of the City, and the age-old reason for the feud between the residents of Liverpool (Liverpudlians) and those of Manchester (Manks). Basically, we Liverpudlians never liked the fact that those Manks stole part of our Mersey and called it the Manchester Ship Canal.
THE PIER HEAD ~ There's no better place to view the Mersey than from the famous Pier Head, one of the first floating landing stages. Older Liverpudlians often just catch the bus to town and sit at the Pier Head looking at the Mersey. This is where you'd take a "Ferry Cross the Mersey" ~ if they ran them often enough. I've bumped into many tourists trying to do just that, but these days ferries across the Mersey are few and far between: I blame Maggie Thatcher. However, if you're lucky enough to catch one, the view of Liverpool from the middle of the Mersey is spectacular, and is often used for sitcoms and soaps based in Liverpool, such as The Liver Birds and Brookside.
ALBERT DOCK ~ This is a younger Liverpudlian’s view of the Mersey. The old Albert Dock has been transformed into a very tourist-orientated venue. It's full of bars and restaurants ~ mostly good, but can be expensive. The Albert Dock is also the location of an exhibition called The Beatles Story, which is miles from Matthew Street and the Cavern, but worth a visit. There are also lots of shops selling Liverpool souvenirs ~ one of the best is framed watercolours by an artist called Frank Green who paints old sites of Liverpool and its people.
THE TATE ~ A major new modern art gallery which is located in the Albert Dock. It has fast-changing exhibitions, and is fresh, bright, casual and well worth a look. Most people think that it is named after the Tate in London, when in actual fact the reverse is almost true: both Tates are named after Tate & Lyle's which is the Liverpool company that used to be at the top of Burlington Street but was pulled down some years ago ~ Maggie Thatcher?
LIME STREET ~ This is usually the first view most people see of Liverpool, as it houses the main railway station. Lime Street is also supposedly the hangout for prostitutes, as immortalised by John Lennon's voice in "Dirty Maggie Mae" who'll "never walk down Lime Street anymore". But I have to say that, although all major railway stations are notorious for prostitutes, I have NEVER seen a prostitute in Lime Street. Maybe they've all been moved on.
ST GEORGE'S HALL ~ This is also on Lime Street, and directly opposite the railway station. St George's Hall is one of the finest examples of Neo-Graeco-Roman architecture, and I have seen it in many text books over the years. It remained empty and unused for a long time ~ Maggie Thatcher again ~ but is now the venue for various things: most recently the qualifying rounds for the next Olympics Boxing Event. Its exterior is a sight to behold, with lions that rival Landseer's in Trafalger Square ~ in fact, I think he might have done them, too, but I'm not sure.
THE WALKER ART GALLERY ~ Slightly to the right of St George's Hall is the Walker Art Gallery. It is a very old gallery, which has the occasional modern exhibition. Its one claim to fame is that there used to be a painting of me, your researcher, there, but it was sold for £1,000: back then I didn't have two ha'pennies to rub together, so I couldn't buy it. I often wonder where it ended up.
THE LIVER BUILDING ~ Facing the Pier Head is the magnificent Liver Building, which I believe is still the offices of Royal Liver Insurance. The most amazing thing about this building is that there, on top, are "The Lyver Birds", which are the symbol of Liverpool (as depicted on Liverpool Football Club's badge). There's an old story about how Liverpool started as a pool with a few Lyver Birds drinking around it, but I don't know whether it's true or whether anybody believes it. But the Lyver Birds are sacred. A more recent and nastier story is how, during WW2, Lord Haw Haw threatened to "make those Lyver Birds fly". Needless to say, he never managed it, but he knew hitting the Lyver Birds would hurt the most.
THE MERSEY TUNNEL ~ The Mersey Tunnel is not only an amazing feat of engineering, but it's also a wonderful example of Art Deco. I think it was constructed the year of the Great Crash, 1929. These days, it costs £1.20 to travel through it, payable at a toll booth on the other side by slinging a coin into a plastic basket.
DICKY MINT ~ This is the name given to the naked statue of a very well-endowed young man who stands above the main entrance of the department store Lewis’s. It has always been a popular meeting place, for example "See yer under Dicky Mint at half seven, then". It is also the place where many now-married Liverpool couples first met, having been "stood up" by their dates.
ANFIELD & GOODISON PARK ~ The two greatest home grounds in the country. Although Liverpool's Anfield has the famous Boot Room and the history of Shankley (Manager Bill Shankley was, and still is, a God in Liverpool), Everton's Goodison Park was considered one of the best grounds for the World Cup. And, of course, Liverpool is football-mad. Personally, I'm an Evertonian (no jibes, please, it's been a rough few years) but my second team is Liverpool.
LIVERPOOL'S FAMOUS SONS AND DAUGHTERS
The list is endless, so to name but a few:
The La's (a great band, if you haven’t heard them, buy some).
The Lightning Seeds (very distinctive sound).
Gerry and the Pacemakers (they'll never walk alone).
The Christians (the band, not the religious sort).
Liverpool Express (the band, not the train).
Frankie Goes to Hollywood (well-relaxed now)
Cilla Black (love her or hate her).
Billy Fury (almost forgotten, but great voice).
Ken Dodd (comedian and professional scouser).
Stan Boardman (they bombed our chippies).
Alexi Sayle (that fat b*****d)
Sporty Spice (her mother lived at the bottom of our road).
Alan Bleasdale (only a scouser could rewrite Dickens).
Willy Russell (god bless him).
Michael Owen (technically a "plastic" scouser, as I don't believe he was born "in" Liverpool, but who can forget that goal in the World Cup?)
Edwina Currie (a "plastic" scouser)
The entire staff of the Adelphi (As featured in the UK TV series about the hotel ~ who can forget the busy waiter's comment to the chef ~ "Just cook, will yer!")
Jimmy Tarbuck (mouth almighty)
Derek Hatton (another mouth almighty)
John Conteh (boxer)
Mr Tate (of Tate and Lyles)
John Moores (entrepreneur, and now a University)
Rita Tushingham (remember those eyes?)
Margi Clark (what a mouth)
Tom Baker (the best Dr Who)
Roger McGough & Brian Patten (both Merseybeat poets)
John Peel (another absent scouser)
Kenny Everett (a sad loss, although he did seem to like Maggie Thatcher)
Billy Butler (hilarious DJ, still broadcasting in Liverpool)
John, George, Paul and Ringo (enough said).
I love Liverpool. I always have and I always will. Economic factors have forced me to work away from my home town, but I return about once a month to bring myself back down to earth. Even when I was living and working over 3,000 miles away, I still picked up Liverpool news from virtual strangers, without asking. And I insisted on scraping together extortionate airfares just to get back there for a while.
I apologise in advance for any sentimentality: absent scousers wear the rosiest-tinted spectacles. But there's one thing I know to be fact: whatever further economic ills and Government plots are meted out to my home city, Liverpool will always be a great place because it's full of great people.
I also apologise for the length of this entry. I've tried to keep it short, but there's so much to say. And I've probably left plenty out, but here goes . . .
LIVERPOOL LANGUAGE
The first thing to be aware of is that Liverpool people speak very fast. If you can get them to slow down, you might be able to understand what they're saying. Here are a few Liverpool slang expressions that might help you break the ice.
"Tilly Mint" This is an endearing admonishment used for a female Scouser who has ideas above her station. The male version is 'Dicky Mint'.
"Kex" This is the word for men's "trousers". Not to be confused with the Geordie word "Kex" which means men's underpants.
"Over the water" This term is used to describe people who don't live in Liverpool proper but "over the Mersey" on the Wirral, or Birkenhead, or Ellesmere Port.
"Doin' me 'ead in" This charming little expression means that something is annoying.
"Jigger" This is the Liverpool noun for an alleyway or passageway, usually located to the side or back of a house.
"La" This word means "mate" or "friend" and was immortalised in the Beatles song "Ob-la-di Ob-la-da". It also gave the name to another great band from Liverpool called "The La's" who come from close to where I grew up.
"Skint" This word drops into conversation quite a lot in Liverpool, as it means to have no money.
"Ta" The local word for "thank you".
"Queen" A term of endearment for a female you love very much and know very well, usually from father to daughter or husband to wife. It has nothing whatsoever to do with the similar expression on the gay scene.
"Made-up" Contrary to what you might think, this term has nothing to do with cosmetics. When a scouser is "made-up" they're very pleased about something or other.
"See ya later" This does not mean "I'll see you later today" but "I'll see you sometime later in our lives", which could be anything from six hours to six years.
So, a typical Liverpool conversation would go:
"Hey Tilly Mint, pass me those new kex. Your sister from over the water is comin' up the path, and she does me 'ead in, so I'll slope off round the back jigger, and join me la's down the pub. Lend's a fiver, coz I'm skint. Ta, queen. I'm made-up now. See ya later."
LIVERPOOL FOOD
The main local dish is "Scouse" which is sometimes erroneously described as the Liverpool version of Irish Stew. Ingredients for Scouse include lamb, potatoes, carrots, onions, water and love. Perhaps it has something to do with the water in Liverpool, but there's nothing quite as heart-warming as a fresh pan of Scouse and some crusty cobs (bread).
An interesting variant on Scouse is "Blind Scouse". This is usually made the day before Pay Day, and therefore contains no meat, or it may be leftover from the previous day and all the meat has already been eaten. Either way, it's delicious.
Scouse also gives its name to the people from Liverpool: Scousers, "those who eat Scouse".
Another famous Liverpool food is the "Butty". This is another word for "sandwich" although it has to be said that a Butty made by a Liverpool mum takes some beating. Typical Liverpool Butties include: the Sugar Butty and the Conny Onny Butty (the Condensed Milk Sandwich ~ lovely).
Yet another Liverpool delicacy is the Everton Mint: a sweet black and white striped oblong piece of candy with a hard outer shell and soft chewy mint centre. The name Everton Mints comes from the fact that a large woman, known as the Toffee Lady, used to throw handfuls of these mints to the crowd at Everton's home ground during half-time. Chewy and delicious, but no good for your dental fillings.
LIVERPOOL HUMOUR
The city of Liverpool has been through such hard times, particularly over the last 20 ~ 30 years, that if we didn't have a well-developed sense of humour, we'd all give up. In fact, a sense of humour is compulsory in Liverpool.
The best exponents of scouse wit are the playwrights Alan Bleasdale and Willy Russell ~ although it has to be said that every bus driver and conductor in Liverpool is a comedian in their own right.
LIVERPOOL IN SONG
Liverpool is one of the few places in England that has had songs written about it. Lots of American towns and cities feature in songs, but not English ones, possibly because nobody can think of a word that rhymes with Bishop's Stortford.
Liverpool songs include: Ferry Cross the Mersey; Penny Lane; Strawberry Fields Forever; Maggie Mae; The Leaving of Liverpool; Liverpool Lullaby. And my personal favourite, In My Liverpool Home, here are some of the words:
I was born in Liverpool, down by the Docks.
My religion was Catholic, occupation Hard Knocks.
At stealing from lorries, I was adept.
While under old overcoats, each night we slept.
(Chorus)
In my Liverpool home, in my Liverpool home.
We speak with an accent exceedingly r-a-r-e.
Meet under a statue exceedingly b-a-r-e.*
If you want a cathedral, we’ve got one to s-p-a-r-e.
In my Liverpool home. (la-di-da)
Now when I grew up, I met Bridget McCann.
She said, "You're not much, but I'm needing a man.
Coz I want 15 kids and a house out in Speke."
The spirit was willing, but the flesh it was weak.
(Repeat chorus)
Way back in the Forties, the world it went mad.
Mr Hitler threw at us everything that he had.
When the smoke and the dust had all cleared from the air,
"Thank God", said an old man, "the Pier Head's still there."
(Repeat chorus ~ until you're all too drunk to remember the words)
*The bare statue is above the main entrance of Lewis's department store, a favourite meeting place in Liverpool.
LIVERPOOL CATHEDRALS
No, it's not a typing error, there are TWO cathedrals in Liverpool, one at each end of Hope Street (honest).
The Catholic Cathedral is the most recent and was built in the 1960s. It is circular, very modern and affectionately known as "Paddy's Wigwam".
The Anglican Cathedral is a large Gothic structure, and it used to be possible to walk through passageways in the walls at high levels which was a great day out for kids, but I think they've since stopped that. There is a legend in Liverpool that if the Anglican Cathedral is ever finished, a great disaster will befall the City. It is rumoured that they left the final stone out for this very reason.
MATTHEW STREET
Although the original Cavern is long gone from Matthew Street, the Merseybeat spirit lives on. It is still the liveliest place to be on any night in Liverpool. Just walking down Matthew Street at night you will feel happy, or drunk, or both. There are several places worthy of mention:
"Rubber Soul" is a lively bar bang in the middle of the street. They have bouncers on the door, but when you get past them you could find yourself dancing with anyone, and long before you reach the official dance floor.
'The Grapes" is a great old pub, which dates back to the Cavern days and before. A must, but you'll be lucky to get a drink at the bar ~ better order doubles or trebles, it could be a while before you get to order another one.
"Flanagans" is on three floors, I think, but I've never been in there sober so it's hard to remember. Irish-themed, of course, but probably the original one ~ and there's live bands downstairs. I think the upstairs has live music, too, but as I say, it's hard to remember.
"The Wall" can be seen during daylight (hangover) hours. It's outside the new Cavern Club, and each brick is etched with the names of bands from the Merseybeat era. It starts with the Beatles at the centre and the names of the bands get progressively unknown (or unremembered) as it gets further away ~ the Swinging Blue Jeans, The Big Three, to name but a few. Definitely worth a look ~ I suppose it's someone's attempt to apologise for tearing down the real Cavern.
HARDMAN STREET AND HOPE STREET AREA
This is an interesting neighbourhood which leads away from the main shopping areas of Church Street and Bold Street, and up towards the Art College, parts of the University and the Philharmonic Hall.
In Hardman Street itself there are several watering holes worth a look, especially one which used to be the old 1960s club called "The Sink", which was were, according to legend, the Stones did their first Liverpool gig. Not only has The Sink survived the dreaded destruction meted out to the original Cavern Club, but you can still see one of the actual wall paintings that adorned the old club walls ~ by the toilets downstairs. It's now being run by two great lads ~ one from Liverpool and one from Birmingham ~ as a bar and restaurant on the ground floor, and a club in the basement ~ called "The Magnet". It's well worth a visit by any h2g2 hitchhiker ~ good food, good ale, nice company, and a great example of 1960s club art.
At the top of Hardman Street, turn left and you will be confronted by the old Philharmonic pub (turn right if you'd prefer the Philharmonic Hall). This pub (now a wine bar, I believe) has the most amazing green marble urinals ~ which have been featured in several international architectural books.
Even further right along Hope Street, towards the Catholic Cathedral (you can't miss that: imagine a cathedral designed by aliens and you've got it) you'll find the Everyman Theatre which was home to that wonderful playwright Willy Russell.
OTHER LIVERPOOL LANDMARKS
THE MERSEY ~ No trip to Liverpool is complete without a view of the Mersey. Much less busy now than it used to be, it is still the lifeblood of the City, and the age-old reason for the feud between the residents of Liverpool (Liverpudlians) and those of Manchester (Manks). Basically, we Liverpudlians never liked the fact that those Manks stole part of our Mersey and called it the Manchester Ship Canal.
THE PIER HEAD ~ There's no better place to view the Mersey than from the famous Pier Head, one of the first floating landing stages. Older Liverpudlians often just catch the bus to town and sit at the Pier Head looking at the Mersey. This is where you'd take a "Ferry Cross the Mersey" ~ if they ran them often enough. I've bumped into many tourists trying to do just that, but these days ferries across the Mersey are few and far between: I blame Maggie Thatcher. However, if you're lucky enough to catch one, the view of Liverpool from the middle of the Mersey is spectacular, and is often used for sitcoms and soaps based in Liverpool, such as The Liver Birds and Brookside.
ALBERT DOCK ~ This is a younger Liverpudlian’s view of the Mersey. The old Albert Dock has been transformed into a very tourist-orientated venue. It's full of bars and restaurants ~ mostly good, but can be expensive. The Albert Dock is also the location of an exhibition called The Beatles Story, which is miles from Matthew Street and the Cavern, but worth a visit. There are also lots of shops selling Liverpool souvenirs ~ one of the best is framed watercolours by an artist called Frank Green who paints old sites of Liverpool and its people.
THE TATE ~ A major new modern art gallery which is located in the Albert Dock. It has fast-changing exhibitions, and is fresh, bright, casual and well worth a look. Most people think that it is named after the Tate in London, when in actual fact the reverse is almost true: both Tates are named after Tate & Lyle's which is the Liverpool company that used to be at the top of Burlington Street but was pulled down some years ago ~ Maggie Thatcher?
LIME STREET ~ This is usually the first view most people see of Liverpool, as it houses the main railway station. Lime Street is also supposedly the hangout for prostitutes, as immortalised by John Lennon's voice in "Dirty Maggie Mae" who'll "never walk down Lime Street anymore". But I have to say that, although all major railway stations are notorious for prostitutes, I have NEVER seen a prostitute in Lime Street. Maybe they've all been moved on.
ST GEORGE'S HALL ~ This is also on Lime Street, and directly opposite the railway station. St George's Hall is one of the finest examples of Neo-Graeco-Roman architecture, and I have seen it in many text books over the years. It remained empty and unused for a long time ~ Maggie Thatcher again ~ but is now the venue for various things: most recently the qualifying rounds for the next Olympics Boxing Event. Its exterior is a sight to behold, with lions that rival Landseer's in Trafalger Square ~ in fact, I think he might have done them, too, but I'm not sure.
THE WALKER ART GALLERY ~ Slightly to the right of St George's Hall is the Walker Art Gallery. It is a very old gallery, which has the occasional modern exhibition. Its one claim to fame is that there used to be a painting of me, your researcher, there, but it was sold for £1,000: back then I didn't have two ha'pennies to rub together, so I couldn't buy it. I often wonder where it ended up.
THE LIVER BUILDING ~ Facing the Pier Head is the magnificent Liver Building, which I believe is still the offices of Royal Liver Insurance. The most amazing thing about this building is that there, on top, are "The Lyver Birds", which are the symbol of Liverpool (as depicted on Liverpool Football Club's badge). There's an old story about how Liverpool started as a pool with a few Lyver Birds drinking around it, but I don't know whether it's true or whether anybody believes it. But the Lyver Birds are sacred. A more recent and nastier story is how, during WW2, Lord Haw Haw threatened to "make those Lyver Birds fly". Needless to say, he never managed it, but he knew hitting the Lyver Birds would hurt the most.
THE MERSEY TUNNEL ~ The Mersey Tunnel is not only an amazing feat of engineering, but it's also a wonderful example of Art Deco. I think it was constructed the year of the Great Crash, 1929. These days, it costs £1.20 to travel through it, payable at a toll booth on the other side by slinging a coin into a plastic basket.
DICKY MINT ~ This is the name given to the naked statue of a very well-endowed young man who stands above the main entrance of the department store Lewis’s. It has always been a popular meeting place, for example "See yer under Dicky Mint at half seven, then". It is also the place where many now-married Liverpool couples first met, having been "stood up" by their dates.
ANFIELD & GOODISON PARK ~ The two greatest home grounds in the country. Although Liverpool's Anfield has the famous Boot Room and the history of Shankley (Manager Bill Shankley was, and still is, a God in Liverpool), Everton's Goodison Park was considered one of the best grounds for the World Cup. And, of course, Liverpool is football-mad. Personally, I'm an Evertonian (no jibes, please, it's been a rough few years) but my second team is Liverpool.
LIVERPOOL'S FAMOUS SONS AND DAUGHTERS
The list is endless, so to name but a few:
The La's (a great band, if you haven’t heard them, buy some).
The Lightning Seeds (very distinctive sound).
Gerry and the Pacemakers (they'll never walk alone).
The Christians (the band, not the religious sort).
Liverpool Express (the band, not the train).
Frankie Goes to Hollywood (well-relaxed now)
Cilla Black (love her or hate her).
Billy Fury (almost forgotten, but great voice).
Ken Dodd (comedian and professional scouser).
Stan Boardman (they bombed our chippies).
Alexi Sayle (that fat b*****d)
Sporty Spice (her mother lived at the bottom of our road).
Alan Bleasdale (only a scouser could rewrite Dickens).
Willy Russell (god bless him).
Michael Owen (technically a "plastic" scouser, as I don't believe he was born "in" Liverpool, but who can forget that goal in the World Cup?)
Edwina Currie (a "plastic" scouser)
The entire staff of the Adelphi (As featured in the UK TV series about the hotel ~ who can forget the busy waiter's comment to the chef ~ "Just cook, will yer!")
Jimmy Tarbuck (mouth almighty)
Derek Hatton (another mouth almighty)
John Conteh (boxer)
Mr Tate (of Tate and Lyles)
John Moores (entrepreneur, and now a University)
Rita Tushingham (remember those eyes?)
Margi Clark (what a mouth)
Tom Baker (the best Dr Who)
Roger McGough & Brian Patten (both Merseybeat poets)
John Peel (another absent scouser)
Kenny Everett (a sad loss, although he did seem to like Maggie Thatcher)
Billy Butler (hilarious DJ, still broadcasting in Liverpool)
John, George, Paul and Ringo (enough said).
