You need to get out more!
Created | Updated Oct 30, 2007
And do what?
Be surrounded by the brainless masses in their bad clothing choices, mouthing their inane patois, buying things they need only because they are addicted to them, not because they have any use for them?
You need to get cable/satellite!
Why? So I can watch the only channel I can stand for eight or ten hours while I'm home and tape what I miss while I'm at work, and then try to work out a schedule so that I can watch two week's ago's episode before I watch this week's? No thank you. Been there. Got the scar and the t-shirt.
You need to get a new computer with highspeed whatsit!
Oh. Really? Why?
Oh, it's much faster than whosit and you can download this and that and the other and it's brighter and louder and costs more than anything you've ever bought in your life!
Right, so I can sit and watch youtube eight hours a day and see five minute clips of old movies, television shows and stupid pet tricks... all for 49.95 a month. I'm only paying 19.95 right now and I'm so happy I can't contain myself... YIPPPPPEEEE!!!
Nurse, get a syringe!
You need to get a car!
Why? I like my bicycle and my feet.
You can go further faster!
Right. So I can be around those people I was talking about in the first paragraph. Only in a different town.
"They say that travel broadens the mind."
I'd rather mind the broads in a bad novel I'm reading or writing.
