Don't Go In Here- It's Not Finished Yet...
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
Not law enforcers made of soap but the stunningly incompetently boys in blue (actually, usually bad M&S suits) who inhabit the world of soaps. Seemingly incapable of solving any crime they instead prefer to conduct (seemingly endless) interviews with the criminal. Whom they always identify as being innocent within the first five minutes of their arrival. And then proceed to suspect of being guilty for the next six months.
Identification
There are two kinds of soap police: the Old School and the Young Ones.
The Old School is made up of world-weary cynics who are uniformly stoic and grumpy (although many turn out to have a heart of gold). They have the talent to provoke the guilty party with the mere raising of an eyebrow or glance at their colleagues. These men (they are never women, who seem only belong to the Young Ones) give off the appearance of always being one step ahead of their victims while actually being incompetent and incapable of solving a problem until after everyone else (this includes the village idiot) has worked it out.
The Young Ones, on the other hand, are sarcastic, flirtatious and deeply, deeply stupid. Ignoring everything that goes on around them, the Young Ones