h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It's Sunday evening and there's nowt on telly, so here's a few pointless statistics for you to ponder over:

Most Points Scored

1) Petr Cech (Egon) - 108
2) John Terry (Andy G) - 81
3) Frank Lampard (Alfredo) - 66
4) Paolo Ferreira (No Six) - 61
5) John-Arne Riise (Sprout) - 58
6) Freddie Ljungberg (Alfredo) - 56
7) Roy Carroll (No Six) - 53
8) Arjen Robben (Andy G) - 52
9) Gabriel Heinze (Andy G) - 50
10) Eidur Gudjohnsen (Sprout) - 47

Fewest Points Scored

1) Robert Green (DD) - -19
2) Mauricio Pellegrino (Alfredo) - -8
3) Dejan Stefanovic (DD) - -7
4) Darren Moore (blicky) - --6
5) Ricky Scimeca (Egon) - -5
6) Alexei Smertin (Bottletop) - -4
7) Carlos Bocanegra (Egon) - -3
8) Steven Taylor (DD) - -2
9=) Steven Davis (DD), Steve McManaman (DD), Phil Neville (Friddle), David Dunn (Mckay), 0 points all season.

Best Value (% increase in price)

Including all those who have more than doubled their price so far. Lotta goalkeepers here...

1) Roy Carroll (No Six) - +406%
2) Brad Friedel (Bottletop) - +305%
3) Nigel Martyn (Brasilian) - +305%
4) Paul Robinson (Psycorp) - +189%
5) Mark Schwarzer (Andy G) - +180%
6) John Terry (Andy G) - +166%
7) John-Arne Riise (Sprout) - +160%
8) Tony Hibbert (Egon) - +157%
9) Arjen Robben (Andy G) - +151%
10) El-Hadji Diouf (Sprout) - +134%
11) Paul Dickov (Sprout) - +120%
12) Gareth Barry (Brasilian) - +108%
13) Mikael Silvestre (GreyDesk) - +107%
14) Alan Stubbs (Friddle) - +106%
15) Gabriel Heinze (Andy G) - +105%


Worst Value

Those who have lost the most money

1) Fernando Morientes (GreyDesk) - 5.7m down on purchase price
2) Dennis Bergkamp (Magwitch) - 5.7m
3) Damian Duff (Alfredo) - 5.1m
4) Patrick Vieira (blicky) - 4.9m
5) Sol Campbell (blicky) - 4.0m
6) Steve McManaman (DD) - 3.8m
7) Mark Viduka (Psycorp) - 3.7m
8) Robert Green (DD) - 3.6m
9) Didier Drogba (Brasilian) - 3.6m
10) Alan Smith (Psycorp) - 3.5m


What are your teams worth?

The total calculated value of your team, not including any cash you still have left. Compare this with the £50m you originally had to spend.

1) Andy G - 54.5m
2) Egon - 52.6m
3) Sprout - 50.9m
4) No Six - 46.3m
5) GreyDesk - 45.3m
6) Alfredo - 44.2m
7) Bottletop - 40.5m
8) Psycorp - 38.1m
9) Brasilian - 37.3m
10) Blicky - 35.9m
11) Friddle - 35.6m
12) McKay - 30.1m
13) Magwitch - 25.1m
14) DD - 22.1m
15) Riotact - 18.9m

Congratulation, riotact. In 30 weeks, you've managed to lose £31.1m

B

does this mean i manage liverpool next season?

Can't think of anyone better.

B

half a season in england wouldn't be bad, but what worries me are these NHS horror stories... if mourinho bites me on the leg how long will i have to hop in line at the emergency room before i get treated?