How to have a good time in Poole
Created | Updated Oct 20, 2010
<b><u>Poole:</b></u><BR/>
Poole is where they all come to die. Blue rinses and cardigans are the order of the day here. This place is like a cemetary with lights during the winter months, but does actually get a little on the lively side in summer. Despite its quiet and necrotised nature, it is possible to have a good time in Poole. Tourist attractions are a bit on the minimalist side. There's the "world famous" <a href="http://www.poolepottery.co.uk"><b>Poole Pottery</b></a>...yeah, right. A couple of museums...hmmm. The <a href="http://www.mathmos.co.uk"><b>Mathmos</a></b> factory (lava lamps...the pricey ones that are so popular at the moment and; apparently; aren't fire hazards any more). <b>Poole Quay</b> during the day is host to a plethora of rusty cargo ships, an aquarium, a model railway, an amusements den and a bucketload of restaurants, cafes and pubs. Occasionally, the very rich lady who owns <a href="http://www.thebodyshop.co.uk"><b>The Body Shop</a></b> docks her big boat here and all us plebs gather around to gape in awe and wonder at the sheer decadence of it all. The <a href="http://www.sunseeker.co.uk"><b>Sunseeker</a></b> shipyards are situated around here too. Poole is also home to the head offices of <a href="http://www.exchangeandmart.co.uk"><b>Exchange & Mart</a></b> magazine. The High Street and adjoining areas are filled with pubs and restaurants which cater to almost any taste you care to mention. Italian (pointlessly expensive), Indian (5 to choose from, all within vomiting distance of each other), Greek (kebabs and other animal bits), English (traditional stodge with gravy and chips, served everywhere), Chinese (not worth bothering with really), Japanese (items you'd never have thought would classify as edible), Mexican (surprisingly good), and so on...<p>
Shopping is basic, but adequate. <b>The Dolphin Centre</b> houses all major retail outlets. Hundreds of strange shops selling nearly everything you need when you reach 60 years of age line the High Street. Stay near the High Street...your evening begins here...<p>
Start in <b>The Old Harry</b> (recently became a franchise of Bass Leisure Retail and consequently not as rough as it once was...trust me!). They serve <b>Carling Premier</b> in there so you can quench your thirst rapidly. They also have a <i>"Quids in"</i> night on Thursdays...pay £2 on the door and all drinks are a quid all night. The ideal sequence from there goes thus:<p>
<b>Yates's</b> (you already know what it's like before you even go in, safe territory)<p>
<b>The Brewhouse</b> (Old men, cheap beer, pool 40p a game)<p>
<b>The Blue Boar</b> (family-type pub. Old men, cheap beer, no pool table)<p>
<b>The Angel</b> ("fun pub"...karaoke, disco on Fri/Sat...cheap drinks, fights a-plenty as the under 18's drink here)<p>
<b>The Hogshead</b> (same as all the other Hogsheads...dull and overpriced)<p>
<b>JJ Murphy's</b> (Irish theme pub. Guinness, anyone Irish or wants people to think they're Irish (quite how this became "fashionable" is a matter of puzzled conjecture), pool £1 a go)<p>
<i><b>On to The Quay...</i></b>
<b>Lord Nelson</b> (Dead during the winter, packed with bikers in summer. Live bands weekends, rock/blues)<p>
<b>Jolly Sailor</b> (Popular, packed all year, psychotic doormen keep fights to a minimum but drunken marines used to destroy the place on a weekly basis)<p>
<b>The King Charles</b> (right up the other end of the quay...10 points if you find it...nice place, good beer, disco on Sat.)<p>
A lot of the pubs participate in a <b>"Pub to Club"</b> scheme on Thursday nights, ask at the bar in most of the above mentioned watering holes, and they'll provide you with a ticket to get into <b>Woody's</b> (above the aquarium complex on Poole Quay) free before 11.30pm.<p>
<b>Woody's</b> is the best club in Poole. Open Thurs, Fri & Sat until 2am. Thursdays is party music, Fridays is dance and trance night (always cool) Saturdays...depends who's resident.<p>
<i>Other clubs are:</i><p>
<b>Corkers</b> (small, friendly, expensive, shuts at midnight)<p>
<b>Lators</b> (youth club filled with power-drinkers and 16 year old criminals with their pregnant girlfriends, situated opposite the bus station.) Dorset police don't need to patrol the rest of the town on Friday and Saturdays, they just park two riot vans outside Lators and the trouble comes to <u>them</u>. <b>Avoid!</b><p>
NB: One thing worth mentioning about Lators is that downstairs from this place of ill-repute is a nice pub called Grey's. Greys is usually quiet and pleasant. Weekends see the cream of local thrash metal bands making peoples' ears bleed here.<p>
Eating options after 2am are limited to <b>Taffy's</b> on the corner of the High Street(kebabs, burgers, chips, the usual), and <a href="http://www.kfc.com"><b>KFC</a></b> by the bus station. I'd recommend waiting 'til you get home to eat.<p>
Cabs are few and far between now, there's usually a dozen or so stop outside Woody's, otherwise, stagger to the station, where there's a good chance you'll find one, failing that, head up towards the rear of the Dolphin centre on the roundabout. This is where all the cabbies go before they clock off so you should be OK until about 4am.
Poole is where they all come to die. Blue rinses and cardigans are the order of the day here. This place is like a cemetary with lights during the winter months, but does actually get a little on the lively side in summer. Despite its quiet and necrotised nature, it is possible to have a good time in Poole. Tourist attractions are a bit on the minimalist side. There's the "world famous" <a href="http://www.poolepottery.co.uk"><b>Poole Pottery</b></a>...yeah, right. A couple of museums...hmmm. The <a href="http://www.mathmos.co.uk"><b>Mathmos</a></b> factory (lava lamps...the pricey ones that are so popular at the moment and; apparently; aren't fire hazards any more). <b>Poole Quay</b> during the day is host to a plethora of rusty cargo ships, an aquarium, a model railway, an amusements den and a bucketload of restaurants, cafes and pubs. Occasionally, the very rich lady who owns <a href="http://www.thebodyshop.co.uk"><b>The Body Shop</a></b> docks her big boat here and all us plebs gather around to gape in awe and wonder at the sheer decadence of it all. The <a href="http://www.sunseeker.co.uk"><b>Sunseeker</a></b> shipyards are situated around here too. Poole is also home to the head offices of <a href="http://www.exchangeandmart.co.uk"><b>Exchange & Mart</a></b> magazine. The High Street and adjoining areas are filled with pubs and restaurants which cater to almost any taste you care to mention. Italian (pointlessly expensive), Indian (5 to choose from, all within vomiting distance of each other), Greek (kebabs and other animal bits), English (traditional stodge with gravy and chips, served everywhere), Chinese (not worth bothering with really), Japanese (items you'd never have thought would classify as edible), Mexican (surprisingly good), and so on...<p>
Shopping is basic, but adequate. <b>The Dolphin Centre</b> houses all major retail outlets. Hundreds of strange shops selling nearly everything you need when you reach 60 years of age line the High Street. Stay near the High Street...your evening begins here...<p>
Start in <b>The Old Harry</b> (recently became a franchise of Bass Leisure Retail and consequently not as rough as it once was...trust me!). They serve <b>Carling Premier</b> in there so you can quench your thirst rapidly. They also have a <i>"Quids in"</i> night on Thursdays...pay £2 on the door and all drinks are a quid all night. The ideal sequence from there goes thus:<p>
<b>Yates's</b> (you already know what it's like before you even go in, safe territory)<p>
<b>The Brewhouse</b> (Old men, cheap beer, pool 40p a game)<p>
<b>The Blue Boar</b> (family-type pub. Old men, cheap beer, no pool table)<p>
<b>The Angel</b> ("fun pub"...karaoke, disco on Fri/Sat...cheap drinks, fights a-plenty as the under 18's drink here)<p>
<b>The Hogshead</b> (same as all the other Hogsheads...dull and overpriced)<p>
<b>JJ Murphy's</b> (Irish theme pub. Guinness, anyone Irish or wants people to think they're Irish (quite how this became "fashionable" is a matter of puzzled conjecture), pool £1 a go)<p>
<i><b>On to The Quay...</i></b>
<b>Lord Nelson</b> (Dead during the winter, packed with bikers in summer. Live bands weekends, rock/blues)<p>
<b>Jolly Sailor</b> (Popular, packed all year, psychotic doormen keep fights to a minimum but drunken marines used to destroy the place on a weekly basis)<p>
<b>The King Charles</b> (right up the other end of the quay...10 points if you find it...nice place, good beer, disco on Sat.)<p>
A lot of the pubs participate in a <b>"Pub to Club"</b> scheme on Thursday nights, ask at the bar in most of the above mentioned watering holes, and they'll provide you with a ticket to get into <b>Woody's</b> (above the aquarium complex on Poole Quay) free before 11.30pm.<p>
<b>Woody's</b> is the best club in Poole. Open Thurs, Fri & Sat until 2am. Thursdays is party music, Fridays is dance and trance night (always cool) Saturdays...depends who's resident.<p>
<i>Other clubs are:</i><p>
<b>Corkers</b> (small, friendly, expensive, shuts at midnight)<p>
<b>Lators</b> (youth club filled with power-drinkers and 16 year old criminals with their pregnant girlfriends, situated opposite the bus station.) Dorset police don't need to patrol the rest of the town on Friday and Saturdays, they just park two riot vans outside Lators and the trouble comes to <u>them</u>. <b>Avoid!</b><p>
NB: One thing worth mentioning about Lators is that downstairs from this place of ill-repute is a nice pub called Grey's. Greys is usually quiet and pleasant. Weekends see the cream of local thrash metal bands making peoples' ears bleed here.<p>
Eating options after 2am are limited to <b>Taffy's</b> on the corner of the High Street(kebabs, burgers, chips, the usual), and <a href="http://www.kfc.com"><b>KFC</a></b> by the bus station. I'd recommend waiting 'til you get home to eat.<p>
Cabs are few and far between now, there's usually a dozen or so stop outside Woody's, otherwise, stagger to the station, where there's a good chance you'll find one, failing that, head up towards the rear of the Dolphin centre on the roundabout. This is where all the cabbies go before they clock off so you should be OK until about 4am.
