h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Saskatchewan - A2800775
Author: mousch - U776526

Well, I jsut started here, so I figured using the province I live in would make an appropriate first entry. A little criticism never hurt anybody.
Okay, maybe it did, but only if you're criticizing Vogon poetry and the Vogon in question is in front of you.
But no one here is a Vogon.. right?

Hi mousch!

Whatever about Vogons, I definitely got that "Mostly Harmless" feel from your entry!

I quite liked it overall. There's a couple of nice bits of humour in it, and because nobody has heard much about it, it is a very interesting place to do a write up on. I now know a good bit more about the province than I did know before I read it, so thank you for that. Your comment about the population remaining at 1m says an awful lot, I think.

Couple of things I need to pick up on regarding writing style. They are just small things which may enhance the pieces readability.

Its a bit cluttered at the moment. Maybe you could space out the paragraphs and add headers?

One thing I do know is that most Canadian provinces are very, very big. Could you add something about its size - compared to a European country such as France or Germany or whatever.

Another thing is - where does the name "Saskatchewan" come from and what does it mean? I assume it's Native American (Canadian? ).

Is the thing about Tiny true, or is that a bit of poetic license? Just be aware that what you are putting should be factual - you can still add a bit of humour where you think it is appropriate.

Your last 2 paragraphs tend towards a personal opinion, when Edited Guide articles are meant to be somewhat objective. You might reconsider how it should look? We get a lot of articles in PR about home towns or countries that have an overriding theme of "Its a crap place, don't bother going" and its usually because the researcher has had too much familiarity with the place. It's best to steer away from bashing a particular religion as well: the article needs to be accessible to a large group of people. I'm interested in what other reviewers might have to say about the last paragraph too.

Some typos:

- seat of Canada’s "bread basket". - try centre of Canada's "bread basket".

- In 1929, cars also because much more accessible - became much more accessible

- Put periods after "Is it [hot/cold/wet/dry/what have you] enough for ya?" and "But it's a DRY cold!"

OK - I hope this isn't too much in terms of a critical review. I just want to reiterate again that your article is good, its needed in the Edited Guide, and its quite funny, and with a bit more work you should get it onto the front page no problem at all.

Woodpigeon

I agree. This entry deserves to get into the Edited Guide. Just a little more work, and the odd break in the text, and it'll get there no problem.

Very nice.


Geggs

Excellent! I've often read accounts of how dreary/awful the researcher's home town/county/state is, but I really believe this one. Well done! A little tidying and it will go into the guide, I'm sure.

The part about Tiny is absolutely true.
Thanks for all the criticism. This is aprtly a venture to work on my jnalism skills and throw in a little bit of humor with my articles - I'm the weekend reporter for our local paper.
And that because which should've been became, I'm sorry to all who had to read it ^^;

I like it very much.

All I would like to say is that it's not long enough. There's a great deal of potential interest to outsiders about Saskatchewan that you don't touch on. For example:

in 50 years, if present trends continue, Saskatchewan will return to its original demographic - non-aboriginals will be in the minority;

Saskatoon is quite a lovely city;

there are more golf courses per capita in Saskatchewan than in any other part of the Universe (I think that's true);

the northern bit isn't flat fields of grain - it's forests and lakes.


I suppose you aren't actually trying to write a travel guide, but it might be nice to somehow touch on some more of the variety that could attract visitors, and on some of the history that has made Saskatchewan what it is, and on some of the major contributions Saskatchewan has made to Canada.

Welcome, Mousch

Hmmm... The author has not been around for a bit, I hope this one isn't going to become dead in the water on us.

Myself, I would really like to see more info on what someone visiting the area might do or see.


Mikey

"For instance, the hamlet of Tiny is a man and his dog at the end of a single paved road."

Well mikey, thats what they'd see



Just found this gem, hope it goes through

I liked this entry, although Mikey might be right about more information being needed. Since the author may perhaps not return, is it worth recommending the entry in its current state?

I think this entry could be recommended as it is at the moment. The only thing I can see wrong with it on a quick read through is the header at the very start, which can easily be removed by the sub-editor.

My concern about this entry is that it doesn't really describe the province of Saskatchewan. It only describes the part of Saskatchewan that runs in a band along the Trans-Canada highway in the southernmost part of the province. There is no mention of the vast forested areas of the north dotted with hunting and fishing resorts, for example (except to say they are empty). As well, to suggest that most of the population lives in the south to avoid the cold of the north is innaccurate. Most of the population lives in the south because the cities grew up alongside the railway which was built along a southern in the late eighteen hundreds for reasons unrelated to the weather (in fact, a northern route was considered.) It would be nice to actually have a little history included as well.

In sum, while I think the entry is entertaining as it is, it remains inaccurate in places, and incomplete as a whole. It strikes me as a collection of two cliched personal reflections on the wheather both of which are innaccurate: while the temperature in summer often reaches into the thirties, the average high temperature in the hottest month is a pleasant 26 degrees and the average low temperature in the coldest month is what Canadians feel to be a rather ordinary -22 http://www.cic.gc.ca/ref-protection/english/infocentre/settlement-etablissement/comm-prof/regina.htm

Hardly +40 to -40.

Fair enough. In that case, it should wait the normal amount of time and then go into the Flea Market.

Which I find sad as an entry on Saskatchewan would be a welcome addition. Perhaps this winter when I'm sheltering from the -40 degree weather inside my igloo I might get time to pick it up. But I really, really hope someone else does before I get to it.

And I sure hate being a wet-blanket.

I personally feel that something is better than nothing: a short inadequate entry is better than no entry at all. But it has to be accurate. If this entry is giving a misleading impression of Saskatchewan, we'll wait until someone makes it better before letting it into the Guide.

It's been 3.5 months, surely that's enough time -- move to the FM?

Seconded.

And from what I can gather *you're* doing an e-mail.

gee, whatever might have given you that idea?

added.