Case of the Crazy Crashing Computers.
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
One of my earliest requests for a case was from Joanna, the proprietor of the donut stall on the H2G2 Waterworks And Beach. At the time, I knew nothing of the stall, and only knew of her because of the 'excuses' page she maintained.
One day, just as I was expecting to never get another case again, she comes in and wants me to investigate why computers (among other things) crash whenever she is around. Well, this sounded simple enough. When I asked how she would pay, she introduced me to the donut stall.1
The plot thickens along with the waistline
Well, I went to the stall, and fell in love with the incredible amount of donuts there. So, the weeks turned into about two months, during which time several relevant facts to the case were revealed:
1) Joanna had a Curse that she placed on those who intentionally annoyed her.
2) While there, I built a time machine.2 The temporal disturbance this caused, made a passing UFO crash into the Beach, creating a gigantic Crater. The alien came after me.
3) Joanna wished to never make an S30 donut, because she feared that her menu couldn't handle it.
And, The Solution . . .
Well, after what seemed like ages, I finally figured out how all these seemingly irrelevant details fit together. I asked Joanna whether there was anyone or anything she had not yet removed the Curse from, and she admitted that there was a web company3 that aggrivated her to that point.
Well, it was pretty obvious then what had happened: the alien was a terrorist sent from that webpage in the future to make Joanna remove the Curse. My time machine cause a temporal wormhole that sent the UFO back from the future, and right into the beach.
Upon questioning, the alien admitted to being a hired assasin, and went away peacefully. I received a handsome payment of seventeen tons of S16 donuts, and still have not yet run out.
1Why I ask for payment in donuts most of the time2Seemed like a good idea at the time3 who's name and exact nature shall remain nameless, due to my bad memory
