h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hamlet thought his Uncle a Traitor
For having it off with his Mater
Revenge Dad or not
That's the gist of the plot
And he did - nine soliliquays later.

Boom! Boom! Mr William

Nice one!

Never heard that before but will definitely be passing it on to a few people,

Here's another "condensation" from: http://www.rinkworks.com/bookaminute/b/shakespeare.hamlet.shtml

"Whine, whine, whine ... To be or not to be ... I'm dead."

I phoned my mother to tell her this verse and she roared laughing.

I remember an Americanized production where they had a gangster-styled Hamlet soliloquise 'To quit or not to quit - that's what I'm up against'.

Hamlet seems to get a lot of "variations".

From the Internet Movie Database/"Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy, The" (1981) (mini)

"Arthur Dent: Ford, there's an infinite number of monkeys out here who want to talk to us about this script for Hamlet they've worked out."

I also remember a scene where a director says he is casting Hamlet with all dogs. But he's concerned what the critics will say if he casts a Great Dane as Hamlet.

My favorite is the Reduced Shakespeare Co.'s "Complete Works of William Shakespeare - Abridged", where they do Hamlet backwards. Ophelia's backward "drowning" had me falling off my chair.