So you've just joined H2G2 and you're at a loss for what to do next. "Well," you think to yourself, "I'll write an entry." So you get ready to write when it dawns on you: You don't know anything about anything. Those hours upon hours of time you spent at school doodling on your notebook while your teachers blathered on and on about something you could have cared less about now come back to haunt you.

You have have two choices: do what I did, namely, dig up that paper you wrote in English class on Hermes the Greek Messenger God¹ or you can use my easy ready in minutes Instant Guide Entry

It's so easy! Just pick one of the choices when required and you'll have a guide entry in seconds flat.

(Pick one: The War of 1812, Cheese Whiz, Gary Coleman, Panama)

History

(Pick one: The War of 1812, Cheese Whiz, Gary Coleman, Panama) was (Pick one: started, invented, born, founded) in (Pick a year that sounds reasonable, but remember Gary is a lot older than he looks)
when (Pick one: The British began attacking American ships and impressing their sailors², someone said,"why not cheese in a can?", Mommy and Daddy Coleman had a little to much to drink, Panama broke away from...um...Spain, I think).

It then went on to (Pick one: end in a truce with neither side gaining anything, become a popular snack, star on Different Strokes, get a canal)

Today

Today, (Pick one: The War of 1812, Cheese Whiz, Gary Coleman, Panama)is mainly known for (Pick one: being in history books, being the snack that's perfect for any occasion. Go buy some at your local grocery store, being short and running for Governor of California (along with about everyone else in California, a few from Nevada, and Hilary Clinton), The Panama Canal)

And by the way, (Pick one: The War of 1812 may seem boring but...ok, it's boring, Cheese Whiz is low on carbs! Buy cheese whiz now! Cheese whiz is Life!, pretty much everyone on Different Strokes went to jail for some reason or another, Panama hats are not, as the name suggests, from Panama.)

And that's it!