h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Look all who come after me! I am the first to comment on the Tandoori. Heed the warnings of this entry well. Before this resource existed I was once tricked into ending an evening with one of these, and as the article points out-it was not a pleasant experience in any way.

I too have suffered at the hands of a Tandoori chef. I was once foolish enough to specifically ask for a "hot" tandoori.
The waiter rushed into the kitchen with indecent haste to pass the joke on to the kitchen staff.
After the first taste I new I was in for a culinary battle on as epic a scale as, say, the Charge of The Light Brigade.
I struggled gallantly, undeterred by the obvious giggling coming from the kitchen. Soon casualties began to mount:
first my sense of taste, then my sense of smell. When my vision started to blur and breathing became difficult, I knew I had to admit defeat.
I rose, and with as much dignity as a partially blind anosmic with double pneumonia can muster,
withdrew to the restroom. When, after a considerable time, I returned to my table, the victorious Tandoori had been tactfully been replaced by a soothing bowl of yoghurt. Pax Tandoori.