A Conversation for The Transit Of Venus - 1769 & 2004 - Gilbert White of Selborne

Peer Review: A2662247 - The Transit Of Venus - 1769 & 2004 - Gilbert White of Selborne

Post 1

icicle_halo_

Entry: The Transit Of Venus - 1769 & 2004 - Gilbert White of Selborne - A2662247
Author: icicle_halo_ - U739171

Comments welcome!


A2662247 - The Transit Of Venus - 1769 & 2004 - Gilbert White of Selborne

Post 2

JulesK

Spooky - the Spouse was just telling me about this impending event the other day!

I like the length and the quote from an eyewitness in the past, plus how it tells us why sightings were useful/significant back then.

Would you maybe put the 'what is...?' bit first? I do recognise that you have mentioned what it is in your opening paragraph, but only in passing.


smiley - cheers

Jules


A2662247 - The Transit Of Venus - 1769 & 2004 - Gilbert White of Selborne

Post 3

Woodpigeon

Hello Icicle Halo,

Very nice entry, well done.

My only point at the moment is that it straddles between a Peer Review entry and a H2G2 Post entry.

It's definitely has the makings of a PR entry because you deal with the "what happens" bit quite well, and you talk about the history of the sightings in the past. You also talk about its importance in calculating astronomical distances which is also very relevant.

However, it is also a H2G2 Post entry, because it is so topical. In about 2 weeks time, this thing is going to happen, and therefore it should be submitted to the H2G2 Post to alert the community about it.

So (and this is just my humble opinion) I would submit it, pretty much as it is right now, to the H2G2 Post.

Then, I would rework it somewhat in Peer Review so that it would become an Edited Guide article.

To turn this into an Edited Guide article, you will need to get rid of its topicality. Articles in Peer Review can take months to get into the Edited Guide, so by that time the 2004 Transit will be long gone, and we will be heading speedily towards the 2012 one. Expressions like "it will be seen" should be changed to "it was seen" - and expressions like "this year" should be changed to "2004". Somebody might read this article in 2008, let's say, and it will need to make sense at that time to that person.

Also, I think you need to rework the title - "The Transit of Venus" does quite well IMHO.

Good work!

smiley - peacedoveWoodpigeon


A2662247 - The Transit Of Venus - 1769 & 2004 - Gilbert White of Selborne

Post 4

icicle_halo_

Thanks for your email.

I have swapped the paragraphs around a bit, so have another look and see if you think it makes it a bit clearer!


A2662247 - The Transit Of Venus - 1769 & 2004 - Gilbert White of Selborne

Post 5

icicle_halo_

I have done a few of those changes you suggested, but I am keeping the title as I think otherwise it seems a little odd talking about Gilbert White in this context!

Can you tell me how to submit to h2g2, as this is my first ever post and I'm not sure how to do that?!!!

Thank you for your comments!


A2662247 - The Transit Of Venus - 1769 & 2004 - Gilbert White of Selborne

Post 6

JulesK

This page U54963 tells you how to submit an entry to The Post. The usual editor is away and they have asked that anything you send is flagged up in your subject box as an 'Article for The Post', so that the person who is covering sees it.

I'm not sure how you would get it onto the Front Page for the correct day in June though - someone else will have to answer that one, I'm fairly new myself!

Jules smiley - smiley


A2662247 - The Transit Of Venus - 1769 & 2004 - Gilbert White of Selborne

Post 7

Zarquon's Singing Fish!

I was aware that there was a Venus transit coming, however I didn't know the other stuff.

Actually, I don't see why this shouldn't be an entry, apart from the fact that it's written for the future, and after the event, it would need to be written differently. As far as I can see, it meets the Writing-Guidelines criteria.

smiley - fishsmiley - musicalnote


A2662247 - The Transit Of Venus - 1769 & 2004 - Gilbert White of Selborne

Post 8

Woodpigeon

Hi ZSF - yes I think we are both in agreement on this. If it is "future proofed" a bit it has the makings of a very good entry.


A2662247 - The Transit Of Venus - 1769 & 2004 - Gilbert White of Selborne

Post 9

Geggs

In which case, and given that the author has Elvised, I propose a move to FM where some stout researcher can future proof it.


Geggs


A2662247 - The Transit Of Venus - 1769 & 2004 - Gilbert White of Selborne

Post 10

GreyDesk

Seconded smiley - ok


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