h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Walking: A Quick Primer - A2631692
Author: SirIke - U726853

This is my first entry. I'm open to any constructive criticism or ideas anyone may have.

This is a topic that affects almost all of us.

This is really good, very funny in places. Just a few pointers:
1) All Guide Entries have an introductory paragraph before the first header
2) "equalibrium" --> equilibrium
3) It seems to end rather abruptly, perhaps you could expand upon the uses of our miraculous ability

Thanks!
I just got back from doing a 4 hour research session on walking; perhaps I can put my newfound experience to good use.

Walking is part of the government's strategy for sustainable living. There should be some good links.

Here's one to the Ramblers' Association. http://www.ramblers.org.uk/

and a reference to the Walking strategy: http://www.ramblers.org.uk/countryside/National%20Walking%20Strategy.html

Here's something about strategies for marathon walking: http://walking.about.com/cs/marathontraining/a/marathonwalk13.htm

Living Streets used to be the Pedestrian's Association:

http://www.livingstreets.org.uk/?PHPSESSID=53ed78e0912feef11bcf93cec5c446da

and they have views on the Walking Strategy: http://www.livingstreets.org.uk/page.php?pageid=72

I'll be sure to include those links, then.

By the way, where in the Nine Hells do all those unbelievable nifty little smiley come from?

If you just click on any smiley you see it'll take you to a list with all of them and how to make them.

Hi Sirlke
This is an enjoyable entry, I like snazzy entries on otherwise mundane things. Good job

I'm not sure that the term 'b*tching and moaning' is acceptable in the edited guiden ... and I was just slightly surprised that there was no mention of "agony of da feet"

Hmm. I'll find a more grandmother-compatable way of saying that, then. Thanks for all the imput, fellows. It's been very helpful!

Not a bad entry at all, although I have to say that I found a good deal of the humour strained and rather unfunny, and seemingly there just for its own sake:

"kittens are under your feet a day after birth, hissing in utterly unimpressive menace when your toe viciously grazes them"
"and not tripping over other people's feet, which is likely to cause both of you to fall, and they will more often than not take a dim view of this"
"People who travel on their hands and knees don't get far in most social circles"
"This is one of the most common mistakes excessive motorists make. Remember, you are not a car. If a car were to go through a building instead of around it, that would slow it down more than it would save time, what with having to ram the wall down, not to mention legal ramifications."
"Much like marriage, that which you don´t even notice at first will, in time, have you pulling your hair out in great clumps"

I don't feel that those bring anything worthwhile to the party.

"men have walked the earth"
Women and children... how did they get about? How about changing that to 'human beings'?

"as the countless pedestrians which have partaken of it"
'who have partaken of it'

"in nearly every undertaking throughout all of human history"
I don't think would stand up to serious scrutiny. How about 'in countless undertakings thoughout...' It's a very subtle change but it makes a world of difference to the meaning.

"and unhealthily dwelt upon by those who can´t."
That's likely to seriously piss off a good number of people who have to use wheelchairs, and I don't blame them. Unless I'm missing something there...

bipedals - I think that's just 'bipeds'. I believe 'bipedal' is an adjective, but I'm ready to be informed that biologists these days are using it as a noun. Language changes all the time.

diety - deity

Cilia aren't leg-like appendages. Any biologists out there who know more about this than I do and who can explain further? For sure they're used in locomotion though - perhaps you could re-write that bit without making the reader feel that that cilia and pseudopods are related to legs in any physical way.

passtime - pastime (I think)

"and really comfortable shoes"
There are plenty of tribes in the jungles of South America, Borneo, and in other parts of the world such as Africa who never wear shoes but who walk perfectly well. So it's not, strictly speaking, a 'requirement', more like an aid.

"Shoes, perhaps, are the most vitally important thing any bipedal can have"
See above.

concievable - 'i' before 'e' except after 'c'

'untold eons'
Not a terribly common phrase, so to find it twice in the entry makes it seem a little overused.

"it doesn´t destroy the environment"
Several historical sites and natural features around the world are being worn away by the sheer number of feet walking over them throughout the year. Fraid I can't bring an example to mind right now but I do recall seeing more than one news report about this problem.

There's something weird with the appearance of your inverted commas, and it even seems to show up when I copy and paste from the entry. Are you writing the entry in a text editor and then copying it to h2g2?


Scout

Hi Sir Ike! This is an excellent entry. It should have no problem being picked for the guide, once you have tidied up the typing errors.

Advangages --> Advantages
eons --> aeons (we use British spelling in the Guide)
go: Our --> go: our
may (or may not have) --> may (or may not) have
birth suit --> birthday suit

Gnomon - Thanks for spotting the spelling errors. I don't have access to a spell checker and therefore miss a lot of the small errors.

Gosho - Most of your suggestions have some merit. Others, I'll leave as they are, but at least explain why.

Excessive motorists - This isn't a joke, just a humorously phrased statement. Lots of people I know do walk around buildings when walking through them would shave off five minutes.

People on hands and knees not traveling far - They don't. Being a bipedal, 'upright before God and man,' is seen as synonomous with being dignified and proud, whereas kneeling, laying down, or crawling are seen as humiliating stances. This was to point out that standing tall is equated with dignity, even phrases like 'standing tall' denote this. Rather than go into great detail on this (as I have here) I said that people who travel on their hands and knees don't go far in most social circles. Again, I could write quite a bit on why this is, but I summed it up in an admittedly ambiguous phrase that, I think, nonetheless gets the job done. The statement may have been a bit silly, though.

'in nearly every undertaking throughout all of human history' - It has. No matter what the occassion, someone had to walk somewhere. Sure, you've got troops marching and Lewis and Clark walking across the North American continent, but you've also got Julius Caesar walking to a chariot, or Bill Gates walking into some computer company's conference room to sell a computer program he doesn't own. It may sound trite or even asinine to say so, but that's exactly why I did it, to celebrate this mostly-ignored human capability.

"it doesn´t destroy the environment" - As I recall from high school biology, the environment was doing fine before history existed at all. As such, it can be deduced that historical sites have no bearing on the well-being of the planet. Tourism may be threatened by it, but that's for someone else to consider. My point was that car exhaust is a major threat, and people drive cars all the time.

Bipedal - I don't know. It seems I've heard it as a noun, but I can't say for sure. Any biologists out there?

"and unhealthily dwelt upon by those who can´t." - Well, yes. This is a reference to the disabled, but it's not a jab at them but rather at those who aren't in wheelchairs. They ignore the ability to walk; only those who don't have the privilege of walking appreciate it. I've changed it to 'This is a truly remarkable ability that is, astonishingly, taken for granted by nearly everyone who can do it. By and large, only those who have lost the ability seem to really appreciate it.' Does it still make the point? And does it do it with more sensitivity?

Truly, the community here is an enlightened one. Ethnocentrically enough, I hadn't even though of unshod communities. Perhaps the trick to footwear is not to possess comfortable shoes but to avoid uncomfortable ones. This is, of course, purely speculation... I'll have to do some research on shoeless walking to examine this aspect in greater detail. My entry has been edited to make your valid point, although I may have more later to add to it.

I don't mean to sound harsh or ungracious, so don't take me that way and you will make us both happier and be a correct interpreter of my intent. I truly am grateful for your input.

Two more things. One, what do you mean by 'inverted commas?' I'm at a loss there. Two, let me know of you spot any more Americanisms. I'm not accustomed to British spelling.

Hi SirIke
(sorry for getting your name wrong earlier - I'll blame it on the typeface of Glorious Goo )

I think the new wording regarding those who have lost the ability to walk works much better

Oh, and inverted commas are usually apostrophes or single quotemarks, I think. And I see what Gosho's talking about... some of them are okay, but some of them look a little weird - at more of an angle than others.

Another suggestion: If you put paragraph tags around your paragraphs between headers it will make it a bit easier to read.

That was a great article, even better then ning I say.

Few points: it might not be a bad idea to refer to these two articles from your article: A2654714A1155872. And maybe mention that 'foot bindings' are not equivalent of good shoes....

Also... the last sentence doesn't flow right, I cant exactly name the problem, nor do I have a solution but ....


Otherwise it's a great entry.

May you have the best of luck with it.

Your Guide Entry has just been picked from Peer Review by one of our Scouts, and is now heading off into the Editorial Process, which ends with publication in the Edited Guide. We've therefore moved this Review Conversation out of Peer Review and to the entry itself.

If you'd like to know what happens now, check out the page on 'What Happens after your Entry has been Recommended?' at EditedGuide-Process. We hope this explains everything.

Thanks for contributing to the Edited Guide!

I think Sir Ike has left the building, but what a pleasant surprise he'll have if he returns!

If anyone is still following this thread, thanks for the congrats! If not, well... Speaking into an empty electronic room is something everyone should do at least once. Either way, I'm honored.