Cryptobranchidae: Giant Salamanders of Japan and China
Created | Updated Feb 14, 2017
Commonly known as Japanese and Chinese Giant Salamanders, Cryptobranchidae are massive, elusive, and nearly extinct as a result of their unforgivable neglect of the world they live in, and, of course, as a result of their total lack of assertion when it comes to the constant dumping of filth in their enviroment. These spineless(metaphorically speaking...Amphibians do indeed have spines, despite the overall squishyness) creatures cower under stones as we, the misguided overpopulated superior species continueally dump our shit in their rivers.
This greivous fault aside, Cryptobranchidae are rather interesting creatures. Growing up to six ft long 120lbs these overgrown amphibians take the cake when it comes to sheer enormity. The Hellbender, their American cousin, is not quite so elaphantine however, largest among them weighing in at 15lbs. The Hellbender is much more common, and surely easier catch, examine, and possibly poke(this activity being ill advised with the six footer, given that its jaw strength is comparable to that of a crocodile). However, I have heard that its meat is far inferior to that of the giants.
Cryptobranchidae are steadily disappearing, and with them goes the possibilty that you will be able to pick up a salamander burger some time in the near future. Therefore it is suggested that we as the "stewards of the earth" take it upon ourselves to imbue these slimy underappreaciated amphibians such valuble social skills as assertiveness and self respect.
please forgive my spelling
This greivous fault aside, Cryptobranchidae are rather interesting creatures. Growing up to six ft long 120lbs these overgrown amphibians take the cake when it comes to sheer enormity. The Hellbender, their American cousin, is not quite so elaphantine however, largest among them weighing in at 15lbs. The Hellbender is much more common, and surely easier catch, examine, and possibly poke(this activity being ill advised with the six footer, given that its jaw strength is comparable to that of a crocodile). However, I have heard that its meat is far inferior to that of the giants.
Cryptobranchidae are steadily disappearing, and with them goes the possibilty that you will be able to pick up a salamander burger some time in the near future. Therefore it is suggested that we as the "stewards of the earth" take it upon ourselves to imbue these slimy underappreaciated amphibians such valuble social skills as assertiveness and self respect.
please forgive my spelling
