Featuring: Inspector Gasgonnoff Isnoton Episode One
Tis were on the 34th of Octember, when night fell and no one was around to pick it up. The church bells chimed 1300 hours, the vicar had not put the clocks back, a crime that he had spent the last 6 months in jail for, or, was it 4 month in jail six? That we will not know until the 25 year official secrets act comes into force.
Anyway, it was about this time when the tomb of the unknown vampire opened and out came a most fearsome vampire, shrouded in a greyish blue mist. This was a sad case, for this vampire had amnesia. He knew he had to come out, but no idea what for and by the time he could begin to work out why, the sun came up and he to go back inside his coffin.
Now back to the story, because that wasn't it. I'd been to the doctor and even he could not tell me why my left foot took a size 6 shoe and my right foot took size 11? I had a feeling that the car driver knew something, but he didn't stay long enough to explain, not that he even got out of his car.
Anyway, it was on the 34th of Octember, when night fell, or did it? There were no indications that it was tripped, or anything other than an accident. The clues led to it being natural, but for night to fall every night, is a bit too much of a coincidence for me. Plenty of witnesses, but no one was talking, must have fallen out with each other. So! As I was saying, during my investigations, it became obvious that something was amiss, I'd asked the butler, but he was married, so who was this miss? The plot thickened. But as I'm the best detective going, nothing will escape me, but where was I going, I'll put that in my diary for later.
Now time was running out to solve this case, I knew the combination of one lock but not the other and my cucumber sandwiches and flask were inside the case. I've always been cool, so I was not panicking. The horse had bolted because the stable door was left open. So that ruled him out. The upstairs maid was and the crime had been downstairs, so she was clear. His Lordship was a suspect, but as he was dead, I'd have to wait to interrogate him. Now the gardener, something rang bell here-gardener/cucumbers! Did he know something about my sandwiches and my case combination? This needed further scrutiny. Her Ladyship was with the chauffeur, strange? Showing her the Highway Code in his bed, but that’s nobility for you.
So that left only me as I could not account for myself. I had no witnesses, it must have been me. At this deduction, I arrested myself on suspicion of the crime, of which I now have to investigate.
So retracing my steps, it was on the 34th of Octember, when night fell......................................................