h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: W.H. Auden - A25555070
Author: sinnerman - U9260985

I wrote and posted a version of this a while ago. It was inspired by going on holiday for two weeks and coming back and finding over 1000 e-mails in my in-box at work!!

Auden's "Night Mail" re-written for the realities of 21st century communication.......

Evening, sinnerman.

Would you humour me and point me in the direction of your original version. I think I remember enjoying reading it almost as much as this one.

Thanks

Chips!

Nice to hear from you after so long (must be a couple of years, since I was last here (?)

I don't seem to be able to access my old space any,ore so I had to set up a new one. I'll see if I can find it.

Were you the person who requested a poem based on "three little maids", or am I confused as usual?


SP

Sinnerman, nice to hear from *you* again.

Three Little Maids, hhmm, don't think it was me.

Confused ? You ?

No, never !

Chips

apologies if I've mistaken you for another person of this name -this is Orland (as used to be - I thought I'd change my name as I was setting up a new page) - you used to regularly comment on my work a couple of years back

Apologies, again, if I've made a mistake and got the "wrong" chips - though I suspect not!

Orland

It's a great idea.

My key concern is that it needs to scan. Auden's night-train is more rhythym(sp?) than content, chuffing along those steel rails. Rhyming couplets of ten; something like:

diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddle-dee
diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddle-dee

There will be others to put my right. The thing is, you need to count your syllables

Choo choo all aboard ...

And you need to speed it up hither and thither:

Letters for the rich, letters for the poor,
The shop at the corner and the girl next door.

The short punchy alliteration in the first line is the train going over the points. Say it quick like a train going across a junction.

The second line sees the train resume it's more regular express-but-languid style.

Thanks for those points, I'll go read it again

I think this works well as a poem about the perils of email. The use of internal and line-end rhymes accentuates the satire.

It doesn't work so well as an update of Auden's Night Train. The rhythm of Night Train is central to the effect of the poem. It mimics the progress of the train - sometimes a pronounced regular beat as the train speeds North, sometimes slower and less regular, as the train slides to a stop.

You could retitle the poem without the reference to Auden.It would work on its own.

Just a thought...if you wanted, you could you jiggle your words so that they run parallel with the metre of Night Train ?

Evening Chips

As a general guide, I'm not a big fan of commenting on my own work, but, as it's you, just this once………

As is well celebrated, Auden's original had a cadence which reflected that of the train, as it traversed the hills and valleys. I think it is a beautiful evocation of a bygone era, (well, bygone now anyway, not when he wrote it) full of energy and optimism.

By contrast, modern e-mail delivery has no such rhythm, so following Auden's structure would make no sense. In fact, there's a dissonance to e-mail that would lend itself quite naturally to having no repeating meter at all (Ogden Nash was a master of the rhythming unsymmetrical!). However, having said this, I did want it to be light and accessible, so I didn't want to take it to any structural extreme just to make a technical point.

I gave it the title "WH Auden", not to highlight the similarities but to reflect the differences with, however, several obvious nods to the original along the way. It isn't intended to be a direct parody.

Maybe I should have posted it with its alternative title; "Switch on, log in, give up", an allusion to Timothy Leary's famous 1960's counterculture quote; "turn on, tune it, drop out", extolling the virtues of LSD use. (In my case the title referring to our modern version of LSD, LCD, illuminating pretty much every modern computer screen. Not counterculture, but probably more subversive)

(See, told you it wasn't any fun having this author prattle on about his own work!)

Sinnerman

P.S. As an aside, thinking about it, I guess writing a poem purely using text shorthand, would be the next logical step in this journey of evolving communication (but as I can hardly use my mobile, I'm afraid such a piece would be well beyond my capabilities!). In fact reading this site, another idea would be for someone to write one using (just) smiley symbols. Now there's a challenge!

Thank you, sinnerman, it's very kind of you to take the trouble to explain. I didn't think you were prattling - it was very interesting and totally logical.

A poem using text shorthand might be fun, but I think it's unfortunate that we no longer make use of good old English language. Texts are replacing the need to send letters. Whatever next ? Condolence texts to the recently bereaved 'sorry 2 hear ur mum dead lol x'

Smiley symbols eh ? I shan't be taking up the gauntlet

Kind regards


I

Thank you sinnerman, I can empathise with you

Another hidden entry. Back to Entry?

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It is a shame, as of course Auden is one of the best 20th Century poets and h2g2 needs an entry about him.

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Seconded

And Seconded as well