Freddy Powys' Guide to La Belle France
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
N.B: Not one electron of this write-up is true, except the first two sections.
Places to visit:
Key: @@@@@= See it and die happy
@@@@= Pretty indispensable to the fully-fledged Rivieran
@@@= Worth a visit but not enthralling
@@= For the bored-stiff anorak only
@= You wouldn’t be seen dead in here
- Gourdon; quaint little village up in the mountains. Home to the congregation of Riviera-dwelling hang-gliders and to
thousands of dogs. Worth visiting if only for the Coq au vin that they serve up at a resteraunt. Try getting to it via
the Chemin de Paradis, a gruelling march from Bar-sur-loup to the village. @@@@
- St-Jeannet; or more specifically one of the wide array of mountains at St-Jeannet. Ideal for a family day out or
picnic, with a stunning view to boot. @@@@
- Monaco; well by all accounts there’s a rather famous principality near the Franco-italian border... Places of
interest include the Parc Zoologique with its outstanding variety of species, the Oceanographic Museum (ditto),
and the Stade Louis II, home to the imaginatively monikered footy club, Monaco. Feel the atmosphere grow more
and more tense in front of the palace before it is shattered by the fascinating changing of the guards. Hear the
clamour of a thousand lost tourists. See spectacular crashes at the Monaco Formula 1 Grand Prix. And taste the
scrumptious chips and burgers at Freddy’s, my own chain of restaurants. @@@@@
-Gorge du Verdon; by far the most stunning view this side of Nice. Gaze in wonder as the thin ribbon of eau-de-nil
colour wind its way down the great marble walled valley to Lac Saint-Croix, the turquoisey-greeny-bluey lagoon
that wouldn’t look out of place on a postcard. A must-see for every one of you Rivierans. @@@@@
- Nice (You were expecting maybe Pyong-Yang); the leading light on the Cote d’Azur. Check out the Musee d’art
contemporaine, packed to bursting point with masterpieces and cunningly designed - the Place Massena with all
its, erm, shops - the Promenade des Anglais, naturally - and the Cimiez section when the Jazz Festival is in full
swing. @@@@
- Antibes; Picasso lived there. Nuff said really. The ramparts are a definite item for any Rivieran’s photo albums,
as is the Old Market. @@@
Places not to visit:
- Carrefour; not to be visited unless the zoo’s closed and you want some entertainement of the same gender.
Carrefour is the biggest supermarket in our region and believe me, it’s the wildest too. Only to be visited once a
month at the most to stock up on provisions.@@
- The Moulin de Mougins, unless someone’s offered to pay for you. Good food but quite simply the most expensive
restaurant ever. @@
- Nice Airport, unless you’re picking someone up. Which is often the case, actually. Alright, scrub that. @@
An utterly fickle and extremely controversial guide to French hobbies:
French hobbies include
- Filling in a tonne of paperwork at an astonishing rate.
- Eating long drawn-out lunches that last until tea-time.
- Wilting under an onslaught of bovine jokes involving Lionel Jospin.
- Staring at people as though they couldn't speak French to save their life. Well, they seem to do that when mum
talks to them...
- Devising more fiendish ways of barring all creativity in the French school system.
- Trying to improve on their one good joke that they re-hash ad infinitum.
- Bashing the Belgians. And the British. And the Arabs. And...
- Making snide remarks about how wonderful the weather is to the British.
- Reflecting on the 98 World Cup Final and wondering what went wrong since then.
- Moaning about their health and blaming it on Jospin.
The stereotype Frenchman:
A jovial but bureaucratic character who eats frog's legs and baguette and drinks wine by the gallon. Says the
word "Bof" and shrugs a lot. Wears a striped tank top and a navy blue beret and wears a string of onions round
his neck.
The real life Frenchman:
A jovial but bureaucratic character who eats frog's legs and baguette and drinks wine by the gallon. Says the
word "Bof" and shrugs a lot. Wears a grey suit and lives and dies for paperwork.
School in France:
The Education Nationale is one of my pet topics and I could write a flipping seven volume siloquy on it . No, really. Maybe some other time.
Places to visit:
Key: @@@@@= See it and die happy
@@@@= Pretty indispensable to the fully-fledged Rivieran
@@@= Worth a visit but not enthralling
@@= For the bored-stiff anorak only
@= You wouldn’t be seen dead in here
- Gourdon; quaint little village up in the mountains. Home to the congregation of Riviera-dwelling hang-gliders and to
thousands of dogs. Worth visiting if only for the Coq au vin that they serve up at a resteraunt. Try getting to it via
the Chemin de Paradis, a gruelling march from Bar-sur-loup to the village. @@@@
- St-Jeannet; or more specifically one of the wide array of mountains at St-Jeannet. Ideal for a family day out or
picnic, with a stunning view to boot. @@@@
- Monaco; well by all accounts there’s a rather famous principality near the Franco-italian border... Places of
interest include the Parc Zoologique with its outstanding variety of species, the Oceanographic Museum (ditto),
and the Stade Louis II, home to the imaginatively monikered footy club, Monaco. Feel the atmosphere grow more
and more tense in front of the palace before it is shattered by the fascinating changing of the guards. Hear the
clamour of a thousand lost tourists. See spectacular crashes at the Monaco Formula 1 Grand Prix. And taste the
scrumptious chips and burgers at Freddy’s, my own chain of restaurants. @@@@@
-Gorge du Verdon; by far the most stunning view this side of Nice. Gaze in wonder as the thin ribbon of eau-de-nil
colour wind its way down the great marble walled valley to Lac Saint-Croix, the turquoisey-greeny-bluey lagoon
that wouldn’t look out of place on a postcard. A must-see for every one of you Rivierans. @@@@@
- Nice (You were expecting maybe Pyong-Yang); the leading light on the Cote d’Azur. Check out the Musee d’art
contemporaine, packed to bursting point with masterpieces and cunningly designed - the Place Massena with all
its, erm, shops - the Promenade des Anglais, naturally - and the Cimiez section when the Jazz Festival is in full
swing. @@@@
- Antibes; Picasso lived there. Nuff said really. The ramparts are a definite item for any Rivieran’s photo albums,
as is the Old Market. @@@
Places not to visit:
- Carrefour; not to be visited unless the zoo’s closed and you want some entertainement of the same gender.
Carrefour is the biggest supermarket in our region and believe me, it’s the wildest too. Only to be visited once a
month at the most to stock up on provisions.@@
- The Moulin de Mougins, unless someone’s offered to pay for you. Good food but quite simply the most expensive
restaurant ever. @@
- Nice Airport, unless you’re picking someone up. Which is often the case, actually. Alright, scrub that. @@
An utterly fickle and extremely controversial guide to French hobbies:
French hobbies include
- Filling in a tonne of paperwork at an astonishing rate.
- Eating long drawn-out lunches that last until tea-time.
- Wilting under an onslaught of bovine jokes involving Lionel Jospin.
- Staring at people as though they couldn't speak French to save their life. Well, they seem to do that when mum
talks to them...
- Devising more fiendish ways of barring all creativity in the French school system.
- Trying to improve on their one good joke that they re-hash ad infinitum.
- Bashing the Belgians. And the British. And the Arabs. And...
- Making snide remarks about how wonderful the weather is to the British.
- Reflecting on the 98 World Cup Final and wondering what went wrong since then.
- Moaning about their health and blaming it on Jospin.
The stereotype Frenchman:
A jovial but bureaucratic character who eats frog's legs and baguette and drinks wine by the gallon. Says the
word "Bof" and shrugs a lot. Wears a striped tank top and a navy blue beret and wears a string of onions round
his neck.
The real life Frenchman:
A jovial but bureaucratic character who eats frog's legs and baguette and drinks wine by the gallon. Says the
word "Bof" and shrugs a lot. Wears a grey suit and lives and dies for paperwork.
School in France:
The Education Nationale is one of my pet topics and I could write a flipping seven volume siloquy on it . No, really. Maybe some other time.
