walking on snow
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
For thousands of years, silly humans have been trying to cope with one of Mother Nature's most wonderful and sometimes annoying phenomenones: snow. That wonderfully light snowflake, unique in its uniqueness, beautiful in its whitness and purity. That is, of course, until you get buried under hundreds of centimeters of the stuff for six solid months. After such time, snow is no longer pretty or beautiful, it's just down right annoying and a pain in the rear.
For those inhabitants of this planet who have the joy (or the curse, depending on your point of view) of living in the "snow belt", coping with the problems of snow fall becomes second nature and as normal as breathing...well, it does after six months. For the first few weeks of snow fall season, all knowledge that was accumulated during the last winter is forgotten as quickly as a snowflake on a heated car. People forget how to drive, to walk, to travel. Everyone is frustrated and very much annoyed at everyone else for forgetting how to handle snow (even when they're just as lost in the white stuff).
Let's put aside the discussion on mechanised formes of transportation. Remember (as my aunt always says) you must walk before you can run. And in this case, walk to the car without breaking your hip or your leg. With that in mind, let us begin at the beginning.
Walking is one of our most basic accomplishments. Parents and relatives proudly gloat about the age of their offspring's first steps and usually have dozens of pictures and hours of video tape on hand to prove just how talented this wonder child really is. So from a very young age, humans are told that walking is important. There are, however, many obstacles that a human fill face during a life time that might hinder his or her ability to walk properly. For example, walking against the wind (no not the Marcel Marceau "look at me I'm a twit mime walking againt the wind!" kind). In many parts of the world, winds often gust up to a few hundred kilometeres an hour. Such winds are strong enough to topple trees and flip cars as if they were toys. For a human, such winds appear to be an open challenge, and hundreds of people will brave these winds (just look at the latest video footage of any hurrican or cyclone).
It is important to note that walking against the wind is always the same, just with a varying level of wind gusts. Walking on snow is not that straight forward. Walking on snow also means walking on ice. This might seem rather trivial to some (especially those whose only "walking on ice" experiance might be on an indoor skating rink) but such things are far from easy. Both snow and ice, especially mixted together, are unbelievably volatile and extremely slippery. When snow is on ice, effectively hidding it from view, one's footing become very unsure.
Over the course of a winter (because snow falls most often during the winter although in certain places, snow falls year round), the inhabitants of the snow belt develop certain methods of walking in order to preserve their limbs and their lives. These different methods can be broken down into a four distinct groups.
First, we have the Flamingo Walk. This consists of lifting one leg very high into the air, out of the snow drift and plopping in down into the snow in a vain attempt at avoiding large amounts of cold snow entering our boots or shoes. This is often accompanied by a strange "Snow Stalking" were one person follows the footprints in the snow of another person, even though that person might not be heading exactly were one wishes to go.
Second, we have the Shuffle. The Shuffle is best used in uncertain snow conditions, usually when fresh snow has covered all the ice patches on the sidewalk. when one shuffles, this person has no concern about getting snow in their footwear, their much more concerned with not falling down. Basically, one slides his or her foot forward and the follows witht he other. This method reduces the chance of falling because both feet are always on the ground. The big drawback is reduced speed. Don't expect to win a race while using this method.
The next method is the Hop-stoch. Just as the name implies (and for those unfamiliar with Hop-scoth), the person hops from one place to another on the sidewalk aiming for the clear patches not covered with snow or ice. Although you might get more speed out of this method, the risks of injury are far greater. One false hop and you'll crash to the ground like a bag of road salt.
One last method is the Oh Crap! The Oh Crap! method is the least recommended but the most often seen (and heard). One always knows that someone is using this method by the cry "Oh Crap!" (always good for attracting attention), and by the flaying of limbs. This methode is usually seen at the beginning of the snow season or by tourists who think that snow is cut and want to vacation in it for three days of the year. This method is usually most painful and the most embaressing.
For those people looking for advice on coping with snow, follow this simple rule: slow down dammit!
For those inhabitants of this planet who have the joy (or the curse, depending on your point of view) of living in the "snow belt", coping with the problems of snow fall becomes second nature and as normal as breathing...well, it does after six months. For the first few weeks of snow fall season, all knowledge that was accumulated during the last winter is forgotten as quickly as a snowflake on a heated car. People forget how to drive, to walk, to travel. Everyone is frustrated and very much annoyed at everyone else for forgetting how to handle snow (even when they're just as lost in the white stuff).
Let's put aside the discussion on mechanised formes of transportation. Remember (as my aunt always says) you must walk before you can run. And in this case, walk to the car without breaking your hip or your leg. With that in mind, let us begin at the beginning.
Walking is one of our most basic accomplishments. Parents and relatives proudly gloat about the age of their offspring's first steps and usually have dozens of pictures and hours of video tape on hand to prove just how talented this wonder child really is. So from a very young age, humans are told that walking is important. There are, however, many obstacles that a human fill face during a life time that might hinder his or her ability to walk properly. For example, walking against the wind (no not the Marcel Marceau "look at me I'm a twit mime walking againt the wind!" kind). In many parts of the world, winds often gust up to a few hundred kilometeres an hour. Such winds are strong enough to topple trees and flip cars as if they were toys. For a human, such winds appear to be an open challenge, and hundreds of people will brave these winds (just look at the latest video footage of any hurrican or cyclone).
It is important to note that walking against the wind is always the same, just with a varying level of wind gusts. Walking on snow is not that straight forward. Walking on snow also means walking on ice. This might seem rather trivial to some (especially those whose only "walking on ice" experiance might be on an indoor skating rink) but such things are far from easy. Both snow and ice, especially mixted together, are unbelievably volatile and extremely slippery. When snow is on ice, effectively hidding it from view, one's footing become very unsure.
Over the course of a winter (because snow falls most often during the winter although in certain places, snow falls year round), the inhabitants of the snow belt develop certain methods of walking in order to preserve their limbs and their lives. These different methods can be broken down into a four distinct groups.
First, we have the Flamingo Walk. This consists of lifting one leg very high into the air, out of the snow drift and plopping in down into the snow in a vain attempt at avoiding large amounts of cold snow entering our boots or shoes. This is often accompanied by a strange "Snow Stalking" were one person follows the footprints in the snow of another person, even though that person might not be heading exactly were one wishes to go.
Second, we have the Shuffle. The Shuffle is best used in uncertain snow conditions, usually when fresh snow has covered all the ice patches on the sidewalk. when one shuffles, this person has no concern about getting snow in their footwear, their much more concerned with not falling down. Basically, one slides his or her foot forward and the follows witht he other. This method reduces the chance of falling because both feet are always on the ground. The big drawback is reduced speed. Don't expect to win a race while using this method.
The next method is the Hop-stoch. Just as the name implies (and for those unfamiliar with Hop-scoth), the person hops from one place to another on the sidewalk aiming for the clear patches not covered with snow or ice. Although you might get more speed out of this method, the risks of injury are far greater. One false hop and you'll crash to the ground like a bag of road salt.
One last method is the Oh Crap! The Oh Crap! method is the least recommended but the most often seen (and heard). One always knows that someone is using this method by the cry "Oh Crap!" (always good for attracting attention), and by the flaying of limbs. This methode is usually seen at the beginning of the snow season or by tourists who think that snow is cut and want to vacation in it for three days of the year. This method is usually most painful and the most embaressing.
For those people looking for advice on coping with snow, follow this simple rule: slow down dammit!
