The English Language, a brief history and review.
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
The English language is the single greatest achievement of mankind. It allows the world to speak to one another without the old fashioned annoyance of having to learn someone else's language. It is now the most widely spoken language on this planet. It is possibly to travel to almost any place on Earth and, with only a limited bit of shouting, communicate with anyone you wish to. There are very few places left where some form of recognizable English is not spoken (America being the obvious exception but they are trying very hard to learn). The wondrous thing about English is that it is unique, no other language has such a 'colourful' past. English contains: Ancient British (some examples), Latin, French, Norse (old), German, Greek (the odd bit) along with the occasional word from the many countries that once made up the British Empire (Pyjamas being an example from India). Every nation that has at some point invaded, or been invaded by, the British has made its contribution to the language. It is the British Isles' greatest export. With most of the world, at one point or another, in contact with the British, the language has been passed onto nearly every place on Earth. This is partly due to the bloody usefulness of the language.
It is simple, short and at the coarsest levels, fun to use, its popularity is understandable. It is at first confusing to use as every grammar rule has so many exceptions that each rule quickly becomes a suggestion that the user might like to consider using occasionally. Punctuation being another area in which this can also be said to be true. Bad English is very easy to write and even easier to speak. This is the reason that so many corrupted forms of the language exist. Why bother to learn the correct version of English when it is possible to create your own debased version? English has another major appeal though: it can be used to confuse, befuddle, lose and generally annoy anyone who is not fluent to a similar degree. The versatility of the language makes it a great game, the greatest game on this planet. Take for example the hunt for new and stupidly long words, this pastime provides hours of entertainment for people well versed in the finer points of the language (and h2g2 researchers).
Everyone loves English (not necessarily the people, but certainly the language). By forcing it onto every person encountered whilst 'exploring' the world it is perfectly possible to live your life now safe in the knowledge that it is everyone else who is expected to make the effort where language learning is concerned. It is used to write the greatest literary achievements and also to carve your name onto the nearest handy vandalisable object. No other innovation in the history of mankind has ever allowed any comparable feats.
A small footnote: This is meant only as a small introduction to the wonderful world of English. It is a lifetime's work to produce any serious and sensible account. For example take the poisoner prisoner who helped compile the oxford dictionary: a 'life' work. I also make no apology for the use of sexist language (mankind), its my language and you bloody feminists are just going to have to suffer it. :-)
It is simple, short and at the coarsest levels, fun to use, its popularity is understandable. It is at first confusing to use as every grammar rule has so many exceptions that each rule quickly becomes a suggestion that the user might like to consider using occasionally. Punctuation being another area in which this can also be said to be true. Bad English is very easy to write and even easier to speak. This is the reason that so many corrupted forms of the language exist. Why bother to learn the correct version of English when it is possible to create your own debased version? English has another major appeal though: it can be used to confuse, befuddle, lose and generally annoy anyone who is not fluent to a similar degree. The versatility of the language makes it a great game, the greatest game on this planet. Take for example the hunt for new and stupidly long words, this pastime provides hours of entertainment for people well versed in the finer points of the language (and h2g2 researchers).
Everyone loves English (not necessarily the people, but certainly the language). By forcing it onto every person encountered whilst 'exploring' the world it is perfectly possible to live your life now safe in the knowledge that it is everyone else who is expected to make the effort where language learning is concerned. It is used to write the greatest literary achievements and also to carve your name onto the nearest handy vandalisable object. No other innovation in the history of mankind has ever allowed any comparable feats.
A small footnote: This is meant only as a small introduction to the wonderful world of English. It is a lifetime's work to produce any serious and sensible account. For example take the poisoner prisoner who helped compile the oxford dictionary: a 'life' work. I also make no apology for the use of sexist language (mankind), its my language and you bloody feminists are just going to have to suffer it. :-)
