h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"2107: This is the best Manchester United have had it tonight... but there is still no way through. It is like an adult holding a kid at arm's length with the child swinging wildly."

From the Beeb's online coverage of Manyoo vs Milan. If only Clive Tildsley and David Pleat were as coherent and amusing last night. I watched the penalties and even for that 5 minutes I wanted to put my foot up Mr. Tildsley's rectum at high speed.

Tildsley is the worst commentator in Britain, no doubt. Alan Parry on Sky is much better though, almost on a par with Martin Tyler. Manyoo *are* pish though. It's really quite disappointing really.


And now it's 3-0. It's been over for half an hour though.

"2120: GOAL AC Milan 3-0 Manchester United
That's that."

I don't know what I like more. Manyoo's "treble" going down the toilet, or the fact this guy's loving it.

I wouldn't say Tildsley was the worst commentator in Britain though. That mook who used to do Robot Wars is awful, and I nearly threw my TV out of the window uring the world cup when Motson uttered the phrase "a pearler from Pearl-oh"

The thing I hate about T*****y the most is that he tries to make everything into a personal drama. The stupid ****** **** doesn't realise that a half-decent game of football doesn't need it, and that the old grannies the ******* **** is ******* trying to persuade to like football don't give a toss anyway. I ******* hate that stupid, platitudinous, grovelling, cliche-ridden son of a bitch.

That rant reminds me of that night in Istanbul/Barcelona....

That's the worst thing anyone's ever said to me.

Well he's probably sat down in front of his telly now, wondering just how many timeshe can mention Istanbul. In fact, he's probably working out how many miles away the stadia are just for his opening line of "Two years, x miles, and y mentions of that night in Istabbul ago in Istanbul..."

In front of his telly? Nah, the in front of the 'Cambridge Encyclopaedia of Mindless Cliches and Personal Redemption Stories Guaranteed to Annoy the Proper Football Fan and Try to Win Over Grannies to the Beautiful Game.' He's a c***.

Personally I far prefer listening to the games on the Radio. The Five Live and Radio Sheffield commentary teams are very good indeed.

Eugh, I used to have my alarm clock set to Radio Sheffield until I got woken up by Colin's voice three days in a row. Now it's stuck on Hallam FM. Which is worse.

Have to admit 5 Live did well last night and didn't rule out a ManUre style comeback until the third goal went in. Ah well hgaving stood up for most of the second half and all the extra time and penalties on Tuesday night I don't want a repeat of Istanbul. Mind you I had resigned myself to walking the dog when the first two Liverpool goals went in and I hear increased fevour from the pub as I neared home as the second went in.

<<>>

Ill have you know psy tat tey are two competely different people.

I was referring to the irritating bloke now on MotD Jonathan Pearce. He's exactly the same Jonathan Pearce who commentated on Robot Wars. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonathan_Pearce

Hah wikipedia is wrong!!!!!!!!!1

So you're telling me that there are two separate Jonathan Pearce's who work as commentators for the BBC with remarkably similar voices?

No the person who does robot wars is Craig Charles isnt it?

Craig Charles is the presenter who links the show together and interviews the competitors. The over-excitable comentator for the actual contests is Jonathan pearce from Match of the Day

And didn't Mr. Charles stop doing it about 3 seasons in? Not that I've seen Robot Wars since then.

And I stopped watching it once Philippa Forrester was dropped from the team

I think Craig Charles still does it- it was originally Clarkson wasn't it?