So - you're lucky enough to have just run into Mrs Bojangles?

Well, we know what you're thinking: What topics of conversation should I broach and which should I avoid?

With any luck, these lists should help you recognise what it's safe to talk about, what it's not safe to talk about and what you definitely shouldn't stand in front of when it's on telly. Good Luck!

Hate their Stinking, Wretched Guts

• Tommy Boyd¹
• Dr Seuss
• William Shakespeare
• Mitchell and Webb²
• Bakewell (tarts, pies, flans, toasties, anything bakewelly)

Phwoar! Not 'arf!

• The Deppster
• Stephen Fry³
• The Cloonster
• Eddie Izzard
• Hurley off of Lost
• The Peggster⁴
• Chocolate Brownies (particularly ones she's made herself, though other brownies will be considered)

Quite Likey

• Alan Bennett

Pending

• Ron Mael
• Wales⁵

Manipulation? Exploitation? Don't Know What You're Talkin' About...

• Puppies

This User Guide is still under construction (especially the 'hate guts etc.' bit). Items are liable to switch wildly between lists according to whim.

¹And everybody else on the Wide Awake Club, not excepting Michaela Strachan, unless she's with baby nellyphants and then it's really the baby nellyphants we're interested in.²It would seem there's no room for manoeuvre on this one It doesn't matter how hard we try to get Mrs B to see the comedy greatness that is Mitchell and Webb, she just won't budge. And there's *shudder* incredibly sad puppy usage if you try too hard. So best not.³This has been discussed.⁴"What's this? Well, bigamy up! The sounds of wedding bells - lots of 'em - reach our ears as rumours continue to spread that Johnny Depp and Simon Pegg will shortly be involved in a double marriage... to the same woman! The bride (who wishes to remain anonymous but will be known as Mrs Deppy-Peggster) clearly has a way with the fellas! Roll on, Shaun of the Caribbean, we say!" (Howdy Magazine, June 2007).⁵We're very hopeful!