h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"Nicest" is a word that is developed from the ancient Egyptian tradition of boiling frogs with rice. This had some detrimental effects on the environment, and caused rain to fall on Sundays. When rain did NOT fall on Sundays, it was known as the "nicest" Sunday we've had all year.

So now you know.

However, if there were two occasions on which there was no rain, it was considered a photo-finish, which was bad, as photos wouldn't be invented until 4,000 years later.

She's not a girl who misses much.
She's well acquainted with the touch of a velvet hand like a lizard on th ewindow pane,
A man in the crowd with his multi-coloured mirrors on his hobnail boots.
Flying with his eyes while has hands are busy working overtime.
A soap impression of his wife which he ate and donated to the national trust.
(Happiness Is A Warm Gun - The White Album)

Anybody for psychiatric counselling?

Thought you'd never ask!

Why, oh why am I so *happy* all the time !!??
This is really perplexing!@ Why am so happy, when the rest of the world seems so miserable?
And what can I do about it? I mean, *why me* ???
I mean, is it all in my mind, or what?
AAAARRRGGGGHHHH!! I love it !!!
Somebody, quick - push the BIG RED BUTTON !!!!
ha ha ha hhahahahahhhaaaa hahaaaahhaaaa

You, my dear, have three options to choose from:

1: You start on a dose of 200 miligramme tramadolhydrochloride tree times a day and see if that doesn't calm you down. Alternatively, try 0,8 miligramme temgesic, that's really effective as long as you remember that it comes in resoriblets and is not to be swallowed.

2: You start regularly visiting the forum that I will put up in a moment on my page, entitled 'Counselling'. That way you will reveive on-line counselling and, perhaps, become as sad and depressed as everybody else.

3: Found a new religion, your condition actually doesn't sound so bad, now does it?

Free advice from KimotoCat

Regarding psychiatric conselling:

It's not a forum; it's an entry.

I suddenly relised that there just has to be people out there in equally distressing situations.
Follow the link at the bottom of my page or search the net for 'Counselling'; Guide Entry.

C'mon, I dare you!

I don't mean to criticise, but what about the H2G2 Addiction Clinic - are you competing against that at all?

can i join the role order of insanity

Only tomorrow has the answer to that. This is because tomorrow stole the answer from the locked, sealed, and fibreglass-reinforced filing cabinet that is used to store such information.

The locked cabinet, is of course, made of cheese.

Mu counselling service is not only for H2G2 addicts, but for all types of nutcases!
Go get advice on http://www.h2g2.com/A252217 and do everybody a favour by doing it NOW!

I've been there! Honest!

I know. Don't worry, it's okay. I'll get back to you there very soon.

But all the OTHER people here could do with some aid too! Even if some of their problems can be solved only by applying a Colt Magnum .357 to it's originally intended use...

I prefer hitting people over the head with an oak tree - and running away, very fast.

That could work, dear. That could work.


But isn't an oak somewhat heavier than a magnum .357? I seem to recall so...

Not if you have a pocket-sizde oak tree....

I yield to that, but then it would not be as effective as a problem-solver, now would it?

No, I guess not. If only all the worlds problems could be solved by oak trees...

Yeah, I know what you mean.
And in particular oak trees not applied to any violent usage...