Memo from the Office of Employee Mental Health and Stress Reduction:

The seminar on "Stress Reduction Through Confidence In One's Abilities" that was to be presented by the Rev. Dr. Emma Nint during the lunch period sometime in the month of February next has been cancelled due to the inability of the Reverend's engagement secretary to find anyone on our staff who will confirm the necessary date over the phone, email, post or paid reply telegram.

As many of you have already adjusted your workloads in preparation for this anticipated event, the period will be occupied with a showing of a DVD of the film "9 to 5".

The enconmium that was to be paid to the Reverend for her presentation has been rerouted back to the croissant fund for the tea cart from whence it had originally came.

The staff of the Office of Employee Mental Health and Stress Reduction would like to remind you, one and all, that our door is always open, except when it is not. In which instance, kindly knock gently three times and then leave, as Mrs. Peristolic is suffering sheep apnea and the NHS refuses to talk to anyone who is not awake.